Three Years In I Know I Could Be Happier with Someone Else

[dontforgetyourname]

Three years into our marriage I know that I would be happier with someone else. We are reasonably happy together, we just don't share many interesest including sexual desire. I haven't cheated or anything, I just know that I married my wife as a lot of young guys do, because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I know marriage counseling could help in certain ways, but this is more of a fundamental question. Now that I have spent some time in the real world - outside of college, etc I feel like my list of ideal qualities in a partner have changed - in some ways drastically.

 

While a divorce would certainly be upsetting and seem rather out of the blue to many, is it totally unreasonable to consider?

[WhatYouWantToHear]

unreasonable to consider?

 

Sounds like the right thing to do.

[minimariah]

it's not unreasonable at all. in fact - you should absolutely divorce.

 

you spent more than 3 years doubting your wife as a partner - even before you married her so you shouldn't waste any more time. sit down with her, tell her you want out, move out & proceed with the divorce.

[eischman]

I am going though a lot of stuff right now and am not an expert but.....I think you should go to a therapist by yourself and then as a couple. Hell at least to find out what you are missing so that you can find it in the next person.

[Mr. Lucky]

I feel like my list of ideal qualities in a partner have changed - in some ways drastically.

 

I get it, you'd rather have a spouse that suits your mid-20's approach to enjoying life.

 

But what happens when your in your 30's and your ideal qualities change again, you want to start a family? And then you're in your 40's, things change again, you want a partner that helps you work towards financial security?

 

The list of model/nanny/investment banker partners is a short one. At some point, you're going to have to do the hard work of figuring out how to move forward together as a team. Compromise, commitment, communication all become important.

 

Something to think about...

 

Mr. Lucky