wildlife.assoc. Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 It's been two months since he broke up with me. We dated for 2 years. He was my best friend long before we started dating. I'm not getting over him. My gut tells me that he should be in my life. I feel lost without him. It feels like a big part of me is missing. Today's a very rough day. I feel this intense need to talk to him. I don't even know what I would say to him. A girl I know saw him on New Years. She told me that he told her a bunch of stuff about me. He told her he broke up with me because my mental health was bad and he couldn't handle it anymore. It hurts knowing he told her this. He never told me this. His best friend thinks he broke up with me because he thinks my ex is gay and is starting to accept it. He told me this over a month ago. I'm confused. I want to talk to my ex. I want to see him. I wish I had a straight answer. I don't know if it's a good idea or a bad idea to contact him.
Been Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 So he trashed you to your friend and you ask if you should get contact him?I know it's hard moving forward but I don't think you should contact him. He probably will take that and use it against you somehow. It's sucks I know because you really want to talk with him but remember he just trashed you to your friend. F
greenleaves54 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Don't give this douche the ego boost he will get if you contact him. You're worth way better, dear! Two months is no time. Keep up the hard work and there will be better days, I assure you. 1
Author wildlife.assoc. Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 I guess I didn't really think of it that way. She said he was mature about talking about the breakup. But at the same time he told her all that stuff. He was also really drunk. I guess I just miss him. I think I want to believe he's a better person than he is now that I think about it.
Author wildlife.assoc. Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 Don't give this douche the ego boost he will get if you contact him. You're worth way better, dear! Two months is no time. Keep up the hard work and there will be better days, I assure you. Thank you. I guess two months isn't very long. It just feels odd without him after having him in my life basically every day for the past few years. I'm a bit lonely. He intrudes on my mind a lot
Author wildlife.assoc. Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 So he trashed you to your friend and you ask if you should get contact him?I know it's hard moving forward but I don't think you should contact him. He probably will take that and use it against you somehow. It's sucks I know because you really want to talk with him but remember he just trashed you to your friend. F I guess I didn't really think of it that way. She said he was mature about talking about the breakup. But at the same time he told her all that stuff. He was also really drunk. I guess I just miss him. I think I want to believe he's a better person than he is now that I think about it.
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 I'm two months in after a two year relationship as well. You don't need to worry about how long it's taking to heal. Everyone heals in their own way and in their own amount of time. We'll both get through this, I promise. What resonates with me is when you said "I guess I just miss him. I think I want to believe he's a better person than he is now that I think about it." I'm going through that as well. How can someone who I remember now as being so nice and thoughtful also be so destructive and heartless? The best advice I can give you is to think positively and work on yourself. Soon he will regret ever leaving you and you won't give a damn. 1
Author wildlife.assoc. Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 I'm two months in after a two year relationship as well. You don't need to worry about how long it's taking to heal. Everyone heals in their own way and in their own amount of time. We'll both get through this, I promise. What resonates with me is when you said "I guess I just miss him. I think I want to believe he's a better person than he is now that I think about it." I'm going through that as well. How can someone who I remember now as being so nice and thoughtful also be so destructive and heartless? The best advice I can give you is to think positively and work on yourself. Soon he will regret ever leaving you and you won't give a damn. Ya I remember so many good times. so many things he did for me and how sweet he could be. But I never chose to remember how unloved I felt or how I was always doing all the work. I find it so hard to remind myself that I fell out of love with him in the summer and also wanted to leave closer to the beginning of the year as well. But I fell back in love with him and I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him. I felt like I owed him a lot. I've been working on myself quite a bit actually. It's still incredibly rough and he's constantly on my mind but I can feel him beginning to fade. I wish you well on your journey. It's hell but we can get through this. 1
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 But I never chose to remember how unloved I felt or how I was always doing all the work. I find it so hard to remind myself that I fell out of love with him in the summer and also wanted to leave closer to the beginning of the year as well. This is always so hard to remember. I had planned on leaving my ex over Thanksgiving but she broke up with me two weeks before over text. Do I remember all the reasons I wanted to leave her? Nope. Just that she is a great person who loved me. It's very hard being left by someone when you did all the work in the relationship. It leaves you with that feeling of "Will I ever be enough?" And the answer is yes, both you and I will. We'll both find someone who will love us and put in all the work we are willing to. Just because it didn't work out with our exes doesn't mean other people aren't different. Positivity and self improvement are the best ways to push through it. We can do it!
eightninevision Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 I only dated my ex gf for about 7 months and I'm over 3 months out and still struggling. This is normal. Anything is normal. Normative is what you're worried about and it's irrelevant if how you feel is normative, because every situation is so unique. Take as much time as you need, just keep getting things done that need to be done. One day you'll find yourself in a different place altogether, as scary as that might sound.
Wewon Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 This whole thing sounds toxic. He trashes you to people and his friend trashes him to you. Anywhoo, 2 months out of a 2 year relationship is still pretty new. Its normal to feel a sense of loss, but you will get over this. You have to have some realistic expectations about break ups. You won't just be over him tomorrow, it will take time. 1
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