lilmissjava Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 My "friend" of over 10 years, (we are each others FWB between relationships) was a big fixture throughout the holidays again this year. We attend the same parties throughout the year. We have never went on a "date" date, we just seem to attract each other when we're at the same social gatherings. This happened before (about 5 years ago) and I didn't read too much into it, but now I cannot stop thinking about it and what to do now? See below: We were both inebriated on New Year's eve and the small group of people we spent the evening with included my "friend's" mom. She was inebriated also. Well, she told me that my "friend" loves me. I dismissed it and just went on to have a good time. When my "friend" and I retired for the evening, he said those three words to me. I didn't say anything back. I am in dating mode and everyone in our group thinks we should get together officially now, it's been over a decade since we first "got together". Keep in mind we have only gotten together when either of us weren't in relationships. I can clearly give a good head shake to others with relationship problems and issues, but I'm not much of a love coroner when it comes to my own set of problems lol Should I let it be? Or address it with my "friend" and see where things might go?
Mikau Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Either you feel you could love this person, and I see no reason not to go for it, or you don't and you let it be. I think that's the heart of the matter. Every other complication you might think of are just excuses not to do something. 2
kendahke Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 What is preventing you from asking him about you two trying? Are you afraid of messing up your friendship? I think that if you both give it a good, honest attempt and keep the lines of communication open, it may work out wonderfully for the both of you. You already know you both like one another, so the hard part is over in that respect. 1
smackie9 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 If it was meant to be you two would have already tried by now. 1
Author lilmissjava Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 If it was meant to be you two would have already tried by now. This is true and I don't think we have ever had the chance to try to start something as I have had 3 relationships in between then and now (he knows this), and not knowing too much about his relationship status.
Author lilmissjava Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 How do you feel about him? Really? I do like him obviously, but I can't say that I am emotionally invested as much as he apparently is. I wouldn't mind trying to make something out of it, but then again, I don't want to mess up our friendship either, aside from the bedroom
Author lilmissjava Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 What is preventing you from asking him about you two trying? Are you afraid of messing up your friendship? I think that if you both give it a good, honest attempt and keep the lines of communication open, it may work out wonderfully for the both of you. You already know you both like one another, so the hard part is over in that respect. This is true. I resolved to grow some balls this year because I have always been so passive in my relationships. I think I may give it a subtle try. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 I do like him obviously, but I can't say that I am emotionally invested as much as he apparently is. I wouldn't mind trying to make something out of it, but then again, I don't want to mess up our friendship either, aside from the bedroom Right. stop right there. You need to honestly address this with him. If you are not as 'emotionally invested' as he is, then there will always be an aspect of "Well, I'm trying!" from your side. You can't use this situation as an emotional experiment.... It's unfair on him. If you don't feel the same way now, after having known him all this time - you never will. You either need to be sure about your feelings - or not increase your involvement with him. Sorry, but that's my view. It's playing with fire. 1
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