rinahen Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Our 24 year old daughter's boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with her the week before Christmas. It happened at a Christmas party when after not seeing him, walked outside and found him at his car with another girl. He said he loved this girl. Our daughter was of course devastated to say the least as she had no idea any of this was going on. He ended up spending the night out after delivering her home crying and distraught and alone (they live together). Next day, he said he didn't mean that he loved her but was just trying to piss her off so she would get mad and leave. She ended up driving 8 hours home to us that day and spending the next two weeks at home and in NC with us, where he was supposed to be coming with her. On Christmas Eve, our older daughter got engaged. We were thrilled of course but bittersweet considering the timing. We were shocked by all this because we truly loved this boy and thought this was the one for our daughter. This was her first real relationship by the way. I know that our daughter is not perfect and can be very moody, but we always admired how he was able to let her moods roll off his shoulder and love her despite. He had told others she was "the one." So, after two weeks of crying and despair, she headed back to their town and work yesterday. She was able to face him yesterday with such strength and told him that his behavior was not one of someone she wants in her life. She was stoic, strong and determined. Think he was caught off guard. They finally were able to have a good talk and decided to proceed as friends and she will continue to live there till she can make other arrangements. I know, even though I'm so upset, she we will come through this stronger. But I hate that he rejected her and humiliated her in this manner. He says he is not with this "girl" but has texted a few times. That he has no intentions to her. Whether I believe this I don't know. It's really not important I guess. I'm having a hard time, despite how crappy he has treated our daughter, getting beyond this. We loved him and considered him part of the family. So much fun and always doing fun things with our daughter. Such a bright sociable young man. I know I should be mad and angry but am feeling sad that he will not be a part of our family's life anymore. Please help me with this.
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Keep coming here & talking to us but never ever tell your daughter how you feel. For her be a rock. Assure her that things will be fine. Think back to the relationships you had before you found love. Everybody gets hurt but it is especially hard to see your child hurt. Perhaps offer to go there to go apartment hunting with her or offer her the security deposit & moving expenses so she can stop living with him faster
sportygirl Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Being like the daughter in this scenario, all I can say from my perspective is that I echo d0nnivain's sentiment. Your daughter sounds far stronger than I am, but one of the things that I find the hardest is when my mum and dad say that my ex was 'such a nice guy' / 'brilliant fun' / 'great to be around' - he may well be all those things, but for me I know that hearing my parents say that reiterates that I've lost a good one... so I've let them down as well as not being 'the one' to the man that I thought was going to be mine. Definitely hats off to your daughter for being so strong in all this :-)
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