Blaugrana Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) Alright, so my ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. She was the one to end things due to her 'not being ready to commit' So I went in to 3 weeks NC and then I accidently bumped in to her at our mutual friend's place. She smiled and said hi and asked how I was doing. I kept my cool and responded well. After that she kept calling her friends and explained that we're in good terms now. I responded by telling her that she shouldn't think about me or talk to me since we're no longer together and I don't want her to be a 'friend' or in my life for the timebeing. She responded angrily and said If thats what you want then fine so be it. I feel like 3 weeks of NC have gone down the drain and I'm back to day 1. Did I do the right thing? Edited January 4, 2016 by Blaugrana
Marco Valerio Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Maybe with a Hi was enough. You should try to avoid any chit chats (face to face or text) with her, at least for a month or two. Chit chats can easily turn into nasty conversations.
Blanco Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 You did mostly the right thing. A simple acknowledgement of her will suffice, though it sounds like maybe she's the type who would spin that into you acting rudely. As the dumper, she doesn't have the right to expect friendship from you. Neither of you owe each other that, and it's selfish of her to expect you to happily take a demotion from lover to "friend." I feel like most of us have at least one of these run-ins after the breakup, so don't get down on yourself. If possible, try to avoid places for a while where you think there's a chance she might be. And resist getting dragged into any drama. Her reaction to you rightfully declining friendship suggests she might be the type to speak ill of you to others or attempt to bait you into confrontation.
Silver_star Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Alright, so my ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. She was the one to end things due to her 'not being ready to commit' So I went in to 3 weeks NC and then I accidently bumped in to her at our mutual friend's place. She smiled and said hi and asked how I was doing. I kept my cool and responded well. After that she kept calling her friends and explained that we're in good terms now. I responded by telling her that she shouldn't think about me or talk to me since we're no longer together and I don't want her to be a 'friend' or in my life for the timebeing. She responded angrily and said If thats what you want then fine so be it. I feel like 3 weeks of NC have gone down the drain and I'm back to day 1. Did I do the right thing? I think not reaching out would have been a better way to go about it. She would have got the hint and you wouldn't have had to come across as angry..which comes across as still butthurt about things. She still has the power because she knows you are still hurt about things. Back to Day 1 for you. If you see her next time, just cut the convo short and tell her you have to go talk to your mutual friend now.
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