Marissa18 Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Hi all im new in here just looking for a bit of advice, thanks in advance for any recieved I'm an 18 yr old female and I've recently split with my fiance after 15 months due to all the arguments we've been having. The split came about when he planned to go out with his friends a certain evening last weekend, when he had arranged to take me for a meal. Of course I wasn't happy with this, so it led to us arguing and he finished things between us, claiming he was tired of the arguments. He also claimed that I was making him choose between his friends and I. He works most days and evenings, so I hardly see him anyway. I feel that at weekends and when he has spare time available, he should want to spend it with me. I am also an expectant mum, I am 7 months pregnant with his child and so you'd think that he want to spend his time with me, rather than want to spend most of his time with his friends. We mostly argue over the fact that he does seem to place his friends top priority over me. Even though he ended the relationship he has never been off the phone. He asks to come and see me, so I still meet him in the hopes of getting him back and because I still love him. He says he wants us to be just friends one minute, then in his next breath he tells me that he wants me back and for us to try again. Then he will change his mind again, say we are better off just being friends, he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore, but will still there for me when I have the baby. Then he will change his mind again and wants me back!!!! It's as if he doesn't have a clue what he wants and I'm as confused as hell...... Can anyone advise why he may be acting this way and in what way would I be best reacting to him. Thanks again.
HokeyReligions Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 You can't expect him to give up his life for you. Schedule a date to be with you and don't complain about him seeing his friends. They are part of him and contributed to him being the man you love. He has to have some outside interests, just as you should. He will end up resenting you (if he doesn't already) and may feel like you forced him to stop living his life and that can change his feelings for you. Even though you are the one who is pregnant, you are both about to be parents and he's feeling the stress of that too. Have the two of you done any couples counseling? A lot of young couples go through some counseling (maybe via their church) before marriage to help them prepare for it. Having structure and focus helps work through problems. Do you have other family & friend support right now? It is possible that he does not truly love you, but wants to and feels that he should since you are parents together. Take it slow and let him have a life that includes you, not a life only ABOUT you.
Guest Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 He wants out and is worried it will hurt your feelings so instead he drags his feet rather than making a clean break of course, you are making it more difficult for him to leave because you want him to stay.... that is why he seems wishy washy
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