Lobouspo Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 When I get tempted to contact her, I think of that horrible feeling of walking on eggshells. It was so consuming with her, lying about stupid stuff to avoid arguments, being rude with family and friends because of the stress of the relationship, giving up valued time with family and friends because she was jealous, saying mean things to her, to retaliate for the names and mean things she said to me. Can any of you relate? Do you look back at the person you were with your ex and cringe? Did you allow them to bring you down as a person?
basil67 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 When I get tempted to contact her, I think of that horrible feeling of walking on eggshells. It was so consuming with her, lying about stupid stuff to avoid arguments, being rude with family and friends because of the stress of the relationship, giving up valued time with family and friends because she was jealous, saying mean things to her, to retaliate for the names and mean things she said to me. Can any of you relate? Do you look back at the person you were with your ex and cringe? Did you allow them to bring you down as a person? yes, yes, yes! My ex-h was so cynical and I allowed it to rub off on me. I used to say the most awful things. A few months after I left, a woman I worked with told me that I had become a much nicer person after leaving him. 1
wellthatslife Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Yes. When i was with her wow. I was a p***y. Apologising all the time for no reason, being insulted and talked down to and never even receiving an apology. Worst and alot more worst things i received in the relationship. And though i miss her. Im better off. Im no longer a shell of a man. 2
Author Lobouspo Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 Yes. When i was with her wow. I was a p***y. Apologising all the time for no reason, being insulted and talked down to and never even receiving an apology. Worst and alot more worst things i received in the relationship. And though i miss her. Im better off. Im no longer a shell of a man. Exactly what I went through brother! thanks
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Yes definitely, and I do have that same cringe of embarrassment every once in a while thinking about it. I loved her from a place of neediness and approval. She had rejected me before we started going out, and throughout the relationship she would withdraw and we'd break up. We got back together three times, and each time I would try harder and harder to make her approve of me. I had no backbone. She treated me poorly. She wasn't nice or compassionate. She complained all the time. She talked down to me and flirted with other men. But I took it. I was spineless. I stopped having other friends because she would get jealous. My few remaining friends and all of my family disliked her. I couldn't see it because I was weak and put my self-worth in her. This was my first relationship, and it was toxic. I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to give my unconditional love and trust to someone again, but I know for sure that I will never be weak, and I will always stick up for myself. 1
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Yes definitely, and I do have that same cringe of embarrassment every once in a while thinking about it. I loved her from a place of neediness and approval. She had rejected me before we started going out, and throughout the relationship she would withdraw and we'd break up. We got back together three times, and each time I would try harder and harder to make her approve of me. I had no backbone. She treated me poorly. She wasn't nice or compassionate. She complained all the time. She talked down to me and flirted with other men. But I took it. I was spineless. I stopped having other friends because she would get jealous. My few remaining friends and all of my family disliked her. I couldn't see it because I was weak and put my self-worth in her. This was my first relationship, and it was toxic. I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to give my unconditional love and trust to someone again, but I know for sure that I will never be weak, and I will always stick up for myself. And this isn't to say that she is a bad person. She truly did love me and I got so many positive things out of the relationship and I thank her for that. But knowing when to pull plug is tough, and having the strength to do so is tougher.
Author Lobouspo Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 Yes definitely, and I do have that same cringe of embarrassment every once in a while thinking about it. I loved her from a place of neediness and approval. She had rejected me before we started going out, and throughout the relationship she would withdraw and we'd break up. We got back together three times, and each time I would try harder and harder to make her approve of me. I had no backbone. She treated me poorly. She wasn't nice or compassionate. She complained all the time. She talked down to me and flirted with other men. But I took it. I was spineless. I stopped having other friends because she would get jealous. My few remaining friends and all of my family disliked her. I couldn't see it because I was weak and put my self-worth in her. This was my first relationship, and it was toxic. I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to give my unconditional love and trust to someone again, but I know for sure that I will never be weak, and I will always stick up for myself. Thanks for sharing man, I think the common denominator is loving unhealthy
wellthatslife Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Honestly seems like we have all been in the same boat. But i dont wanna put nobody down here but you see the thing is we are the luckiest if you catch my drift. No one can ever treat us badly again because we wont put up with it or as soon as they try yo we are out. We know what we want and what we deserve,. Truth is, thats power. 1
kittyxo Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 When I get tempted to contact her, I think of that horrible feeling of walking on eggshells. It was so consuming with her, lying about stupid stuff to avoid arguments, being rude with family and friends because of the stress of the relationship, giving up valued time with family and friends because she was jealous, saying mean things to her, to retaliate for the names and mean things she said to me. Can any of you relate? Do you look back at the person you were with your ex and cringe? Did you allow them to bring you down as a person? I have a similar story, however my ex boyfriend was the one walking on eggshells to avoid arguments. He cheated on me and lied throughout our entire 5 year relationship. So on the flipside, I became very insecure and disrespectful at times, only because he would provoke me during our conversations and get worked up causing us to argue. I hated the person I became around him. He actually said that as he was breaking up with me, Yet took no responsibility for his lying and cheating actions. I became negative and a terrible person. I am going back to my positive ways and being the funny, humorous girl I used to be 1
newmoon Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 oh yeah, i can relate. i cringe over every ex b/c i somehow morphed into some other bizarre version of myself that i dislike in hindsight. usually it was into some softer, compliant version to please my partner. ugh.
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