Is this normal/professional? Am I too close to my coworkers?

[Jammer25]

So I work in a team of 3 under our boss. Myself and two other women, and our boss is also a woman. Been at this job for roughly 7 months. Over that time I've become good friends with my coworkers.

 

We're called The Three Musketeers because we almost always have lunch together and talk often throughout the day. Pretty much everyone within our department knows we're good friends, sometimes to the point of saying they're okay not hanging out with us because it would mess with our dynamic. Don't get me wrong though, we all network within the company as a whole so it's not like we are attached at the hip.

 

I think it's one of those cases where our personalities are compatible as coworkers and as people. Other managers and departments have complimented our boss on our talents, and even made all 3 of us offers to transfer to other roles. The offers didn't work out, mostly because the money wasn't enough for the extra responsibilities they would have given us.

 

One coworker is married. We're like brother and sister and have no feelings toward each other, but other people who don't know us often mistake us for husband and wife. That kind of situation makes me think if it comes off as unprofessional, or if people think I don't want to network as much as I do.

 

Any thoughts on whether I'm over-thinking this? It's not like I would turn down better opportunities just to stay with my coworkers, we're just close as friends. I just wonder if people on the outside looking in might find it weird how close we are.

[SoleMate]

I believe you would all do well to pull back a bit at work and build lunch-type relationships with a variety of co-workers. Extremely close friendships would work better outside of work hours.

[Beach Guy]

The closeness is a positive asset. Besides, others know the coworker is married. Nothing inappropriate is happening. Maybe others are jealous of your team.

[Jammer25]

I believe you would all do well to pull back a bit at work and build lunch-type relationships with a variety of co-workers. Extremely close friendships would work better outside of work hours.

 

Sure, and our boss encourages that from time to time. She thinks our friendship is great though, and honestly it really makes for a great team. I think people from other departments we interact with actually tend to like us more for it.

 

The closeness is a positive asset. Besides, others know the coworker is married. Nothing inappropriate is happening. Maybe others are jealous of your team.

 

Maybe. Some departments have been going through a reorg recently, so they might see us and wish for that kind of atmosphere amidst the change.

 

Our team is a bit younger than most, we're all in our mid-late 20s at the moment too. So maybe it's that youthfulness aspect too.

[OpenBook]

"Make new friends, but keep the old -

One is silver and the other, gold."

 

That's my advice. Stay tight with your posse, but branch out too.

 

And do everything you can to avoid turning your friendship ring into a bashfest of other employees. (Don't gossip. Be nice to EVERYBODY.) That's a straight line to resentment and other ill feelings from others outside it. Nobody likes vicious cliques. You don't want to go there! I don't see any indication of this in your OP, but just a word of caution.

[preraph]

I just think you both have to be outspoken about bringing the spouse into the conversation and emphasizing how wonderful the spouse is so people understand this is a friendship. Ask how he's doing in front of them or "You said John was going hunting. did he have a good time?"

[Jammer25]

"Make new friends, but keep the old -

One is silver and the other, gold."

 

That's my advice. Stay tight with your posse, but branch out too.

 

And do everything you can to avoid turning your friendship ring into a bashfest of other employees. (Don't gossip. Be nice to EVERYBODY.) That's a straight line to resentment and other ill feelings from others outside it. Nobody likes vicious cliques. You don't want to go there! I don't see any indication of this in your OP, but just a word of caution.

 

I like that quote. Especially since people move in and out of roles fairly regularly at my workplace, so I don't anticipate being in the same team for longer than a year or two at most. But we definitely don't gossip about others at the office.

 

But even when the times comes for me to get a promotion, transfer or even find another job, I am sure I will keep my friendships with them. That's how close we've become.

 

I just think you both have to be outspoken about bringing the spouse into the conversation and emphasizing how wonderful the spouse is so people understand this is a friendship. Ask how he's doing in front of them or "You said John was going hunting. did he have a good time?"

 

The perception has died down a lot recently. Her husband visited for lunch yesterday on a day off, which had a lot to do with it. Me and him are cool too.