SiaLv82 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Last night was the fourth date in two months (i have a busy schedule). We went to the movies. There was minimal flirting, no hand holding, and at the end of the night, only after I commented on how awkward he was coming off, did he reach out grab me and try to kiss me. We are early 30s. I never had a guy not try to "take me home" after a third date. When I wrote him, he said he would have invited me back to his place but he felt i wasnt ready but the offer stands if i wanted to drive over for the night. Actions before words, right? No attempts to hold my hand. The vibe just felt off. Am I right? We made out on the last two dates. This date was just a simple kiss in front of my car before I went home. Ladies what would you do at this point. He lost interest during the movie?
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Last night was the fourth date in two months (i have a busy schedule). We went to the movies. There was minimal flirting, no hand holding, and at the end of the night, only after I commented on how awkward he was coming off, did he reach out grab me and try to kiss me. We are early 30s. I never had a guy not try to "take me home" after a third date. When I wrote him, he said he would have invited me back to his place but he felt i wasnt ready but the offer stands if i wanted to drive over for the night. Actions before words, right? No attempts to hold my hand. The vibe just felt off. Am I right? We made out on the last two dates. This date was just a simple kiss in front of my car before I went home. Ladies what would you do at this point. He lost interest during the movie? The poor man doesn't know on what foot to dance. 4 dates in 2 months, really? That's the best you can do? There is no continuity in so little time spent together. If I had 4 dates in 2 months each date would feel like the first one. So back to your guy. He has no clue how to act with you because geezz! 4 dates in 2 months so he opts for being a gentleman and to keep his hands to himself probably waiting for a sign from you. You indicate to him you're not happy with his gentleman manners but you do it in a very tactless way by telling him he's coming across awkward. Again he doesn't know on what foot to dance. He gets your message you want him to make a move on you but then wonders if kissing you was enough, should he have made a bigger move! Again not knowing on what foot to dance he sends you this email where he says anything you may want to hear. Are you interested in him at all? 3
Jammer25 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 As alluded to above, it doesn't sound like you are affording this guy enough wherewithal to make an impression. What do you want from him/this relationship?
katiegrl Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Last night was the fourth date in two months (i have a busy schedule). We went to the movies. There was minimal flirting, no hand holding, and at the end of the night, only after I commented on how awkward he was coming off, did he reach out grab me and try to kiss me. We are early 30s. I never had a guy not try to "take me home" after a third date. When I wrote him, he said he would have invited me back to his place but he felt i wasnt ready but the offer stands if i wanted to drive over for the night. Actions before words, right? No attempts to hold my hand. The vibe just felt off. Am I right? We made out on the last two dates. This date was just a simple kiss in front of my car before I went home. Ladies what would you do at this point. He lost interest during the movie? After reading this .....I am beginning to understand the male experience a bit better now. You're upset or botheed because he didn't try to have sex with on the third date? What the hell. Do you realize how many women would give their right arm for a man like that? Damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't. 4
Tamtuna Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Last night was the fourth date in two months (i have a busy schedule). We went to the movies. There was minimal flirting, no hand holding, and at the end of the night, only after I commented on how awkward he was coming off, did he reach out grab me and try to kiss me. We are early 30s. I never had a guy not try to "take me home" after a third date. When I wrote him, he said he would have invited me back to his place but he felt i wasnt ready but the offer stands if i wanted to drive over for the night. Actions before words, right? No attempts to hold my hand. The vibe just felt off. Am I right? We made out on the last two dates. This date was just a simple kiss in front of my car before I went home. Ladies what would you do at this point. He lost interest during the movie? Lool and my guy after third date offered me to go to his house. And mind you, we haven't kissed or anything by that time. I kinda got offended....
sin miedo Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Let me get this straight: you're upset with this guy because he didn't try to get in your pants after the third date, despite a relatively long break in between dates (average of 2 weeks)? I'm sorry, but a real man would exercise caution before getting physical with a woman on such terms. Guess you're not ready for a real man.
bu2002 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 4 dates in two months isn't a lot, since it's once every 2 weeks. There just hasn't been any traction develop, and like someone said above, it feels like each date is the first date. By the time you get to the second month of dating, I would think the frequency of seeing each other would escalate as the feelings start to get deeper. This sounds like something that isn't going anywhere. Has your schedule just been busy lately, or is this a permanent thing? 1
sin miedo Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Moreover, the fact that you're in your early 30s and have the expectation of sex by the third date suggests to me that you're not going for the right type of men, nor do you know how to cultivate a proper relationship. And this is coming from a man in his early 20s! 2
loveflower Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Holy smoke...how can people find so many desirable opposite sex to sleep with so easily? Just came back from the gym...lots of guys there. Some look OK, but none of them I really feel like I really want to get close physically. What gives?!
thecrucible Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Don't worry that he didn't make a move. Give him more of a chance. Seriously! You may miss out on something special otherwise. I learned this the hard way myself. I was used to really pushy guys and I began to think that if a guy wasn't pushy then he must not be into me enough (talk about self-absorbed to think that . I thought that way because I'd been with a guy in the past with a low interest in sex and was afraid of getting the same). Now I would treasure a guy much more who doesn't push sex. It really says nothing about how genuine his interest is when a guy is really pushy sexually. It can be a sign that he's really not genuinely interested at all. I got myself into the wrong guys through my own naivety. Also it's actually better that he wants to take things at a slower pace at it shows that his mindset is more towards the longer term i.e. if you really like a girl, why have sex straight away when you will have it eventually and can enjoy the build up and getting to know her? Maybe he is very romantic and wants the first night you spend together to be just right? Anyway it seems to be mainly the hand holding which has put you off as you obviously value physical affection a lot and maybe he doesn't. Maybe he thinks "I am watching a movie. Why do I need to hold hands?". It could be simply a difference in personalities.
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