jbconline Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 BACKSTORY: I met up with a group of people for dinner and while there, met this really amazing girl. She's fun to talk to, smart, attractive, nice, etc. After dinner, the group dispersed and she and I decided to visit a bar that has live music. We enjoy ourselves for the next 3 hours. After we left, we walk to her car (10 minute walk) and then she drives me to my car (5 minute drive). During the course of the whole evening, we learn a lot about each other. The next evening, I initiate the following text conversation: Me: Hey! Coming to the meetup? 5:56 PM Her: Are you there? 5:56 PM Me: Yeah 5:57 PM Her: Have fun, TDB!!! 5:57 PM Me: What's TDB? 5:57 PM Her: And tell me what I miss out afterwards 5:58 PM Me: Oh 5:58 PM Me: My nickname 5:58 PM Her: Yep 5:58 PM Me: 5:58 PM Me: Stayong on tonight? 5:58 PM Me: Staying* 5:58 PM Her: You mean staying in? 5:59 PM Me: Yeah, hands are cold 5:59 PM Her: Yeah I'm staying in and feeling terrible about it, loll 5:59 PM Her: Haha 5:59 PM Me: Lol... Well I'm going to text you when it's over. I have something cool to ask... Maybe your night won't be too boring. Lol 6:01 PM Her: Something cool to ask? 6:01 PM Me: I think it would be cool. 6:10 PM Her: Cool then 6:11 PM Me: So, you haven't seen ---- which is a cult classic. I thought we could watch it together. I can bring some microwave popcorn. Maybe you'd like some company. 8:00 PM Her: That's very nice of you, TD! But my apt is not ready for guests now : ) my landlord just had some had some construction on it 8:03 PM Me: Bummer. 8:05 PM Me: Hungry? Wanna get something to eat? I'm about to leave. 8:07 PM Her: Are you asking me out 8:08 PM Me: Yes I am. 8:11 PM Her: We will see then, ----. Enjoy your night 8:16 PM Me: Ok, you do the same 8:17 PM Her: Thanks, sweet you! 8:18 PM Is she just a nice girl and not quick to date or will this not go anywhere?
soph-walker Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 BACKSTORY: I met up with a group of people for dinner and while there, met this really amazing girl. She's fun to talk to, smart, attractive, nice, etc. After dinner, the group dispersed and she and I decided to visit a bar that has live music. We enjoy ourselves for the next 3 hours. After we left, we walk to her car (10 minute walk) and then she drives me to my car (5 minute drive). During the course of the whole evening, we learn a lot about each other. The next evening, I initiate the following text conversation: Me: Hey! Coming to the meetup? 5:56 PM Her: Are you there? 5:56 PM Me: Yeah 5:57 PM Her: Have fun, TDB!!! 5:57 PM Me: What's TDB? 5:57 PM Her: And tell me what I miss out afterwards 5:58 PM Me: Oh 5:58 PM Me: My nickname 5:58 PM Her: Yep 5:58 PM Me: 5:58 PM Me: Stayong on tonight? 5:58 PM Me: Staying* 5:58 PM Her: You mean staying in? 5:59 PM Me: Yeah, hands are cold 5:59 PM Her: Yeah I'm staying in and feeling terrible about it, loll 5:59 PM Her: Haha 5:59 PM Me: Lol... Well I'm going to text you when it's over. I have something cool to ask... Maybe your night won't be too boring. Lol 6:01 PM Her: Something cool to ask? 6:01 PM Me: I think it would be cool. 6:10 PM Her: Cool then 6:11 PM Me: So, you haven't seen ---- which is a cult classic. I thought we could watch it together. I can bring some microwave popcorn. Maybe you'd like some company. 8:00 PM Her: That's very nice of you, TD! But my apt is not ready for guests now : ) my landlord just had some had some construction on it 8:03 PM Me: Bummer. 8:05 PM Me: Hungry? Wanna get something to eat? I'm about to leave. 8:07 PM Her: Are you asking me out 8:08 PM Me: Yes I am. 8:11 PM Her: We will see then, ----. Enjoy your night 8:16 PM Me: Ok, you do the same 8:17 PM Her: Thanks, sweet you! 8:18 PM Is she just a nice girl and not quick to date or will this not go anywhere? Ask her directly ie. Suggest a time/date/venue. Gauge the response and act accordingly
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 If you have to ask, you should know the answer. She has been skirting around your advances IMO. It's a no brainer that an interested girl would jump at any opportunity to do something with you. If she didn't like what you offered she would have suggested something else but she didn't and was vague at the end.
Author jbconline Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 Pretty much the story of my life. I'm contemplating suicide. I obviously don't know what the **** it takes to attract women.
Jammer25 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Asking to go to her place for a movie was way too much this early in knowing her. You likely scared her, probably why she deflected when you asked her to eat too. Also, don't ask someone out over text. (Coming from a proponent of texting.) 1
Author jbconline Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 I've played the dating game in so many ****ing ways I'm tired of it. I have tried to be the super cautious type and make no sexual advances to trying to hookup the same night. Some guys have "it"... I don't. So **** it.
soph-walker Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Pretty much the story of my life. I'm contemplating suicide. I obviously don't know what the **** it takes to attract women. I am still trying to figure out what it takes to attract men:bunny: And in case you've not figured out, so are the rest of the world (men and women alike!) Don't feel so down cast. You are clearly a very thoughtful guy who wants to meet the right woman. My advice would be to try not to put all your eggs in one basket and remember that her maybe not acting keen is not a reflection on you as a person 1
Author jbconline Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 And on further note, females do all kinds of sh*t when they have a high attraction to a guy or drunk. Women go home with guys all the time or bring guys to their place if she likes him. So, the only reason why I scared her off because she doesn't really like me.
Author jbconline Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 I am still trying to figure out what it takes to attract men:bunny: And in case you've not figured out, so are the rest of the world (men and women alike!) Don't feel so down cast. You are clearly a very thoughtful guy who wants to meet the right woman. My advice would be to try not to put all your eggs in one basket and remember that her maybe not acting keen is not a reflection on you as a person I'm 31 and my longest relationship has been 5 months. Pathetic. Females I date usually don't get to a second date or it fizzles out after a couple weeks. She could have just said "I don't bring guys to my place so soon". Or better yet, throw the friend zone remark out there (I'm used to that).
soph-walker Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 And on further note, females do all kinds of sh*t when they have a high attraction to a guy or drunk. Women go home with guys all the time or bring guys to their place if she likes him. So, the only reason why I scared her off because she doesn't really like me. Your note about females is in some cases true, but if you'd have gone home with each other and had wild sex and she'd have turned round and told you she wasn't keen, you'd feel even worse. How you react to situations is up to you, not the responsibility of another person. 2
introverted1 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Just ask her out properly. If you had made the movie suggestion to me, I'd have wondering if you were just looking for a booty call. I wouldn't have said "I don't bring guys to my place so soon." That's something I'd say to a guy I was interested in and who I perceived as interested in me, but who wanted to move slightly faster than I was ready for. In your example, I would likely have thought you just wanted sex. So quit wallowing and pick up the phone and ask her for a real date. 4
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