Rosielee Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I have been with my boyfriend for a few months, we met through work. He was perfect until last week. Sent romantic texts everyday, bought me random gifts and called me every night before bed. We would spend most weekends together and see each other once or so during the week. At Christmas I made so much effort, great gifts, family invites, cooked lots of meals. He made zero effort (Gave me money, why would I want his money?) and seems to be making even less the more I make. He never listens to me or remembers anything I tell him. He says he will treat me like a queen, but when I see him he just wants to watch boring films or TV he knows I don't even like. I seem to be doing more and more to please him as I catch feelings and he seems to be accepting this and giving me less. I am now at the point where I'm pulling away, not replying to texts, arranging nights out with friends and thinking about other male options I passed over for him. I know what I'm doing, I'm fading him out to try and hurt him or get attention or something. This doesn't feel healthy and Its not what I want. I have even started to get paranoid about his Ex and she never bothered me before. I read through two years worth of FB posts when they were together, and discovered lots of things he has in his bedroom were bought by her, it annoys me but is this even an issue? And he still has a few photo's of her but they are from so long ago he has probably forgotten. She hangs around his house a lot cause she is friends with his sister. I've been there whilst she was downstairs and he said he was sorry, but hasn't mentioned it since so I have no idea if she still hangs around. None of this bothered me when I felt secure because he was making so much effort, but now it all feels like I am stupid and being taken for mug. Any thoughts would be really helpful as I feel like crap and my friends have told me to just be cold for a few days and see if he comes running but that feels like playing silly games and I'd rather try and make myself feel better not worse.
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 It's a relationship of a few months that has run its course. That is what dating is about. To find someone compatible with whom you can build a loving and solid relationship with. You're use that New Relationship Energy and now there is nothing left. Happens to a lot of relationship. He doesn't care enough, you don't care enough anymore, so why force it?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Relationships require communication - talk to him. Don't follow your friends' crappy advice and go cold. That's childish and manipulative. Bad idea. Explain that you're concerned about the changes and his ex being around. See how he responds. He may just be past the honeymoon phase and settling in to who he really is. This change is not always bad, but it sounds like the change in behaviour worries you. If you can't seem to find a compromise, you might just not be compatible.
Author Rosielee Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 Thanks, You are both right I suppose. Thing is I know we love each other, in fact he sent me an I love you text soon after I posted this thread which made me feel guilty. I am going to see him Thursday, so I suppose the best thing to do is keep acting normal until then and talk to him about the issues in person as you suggested? I just hope I don't gt too fed up and snap at him before then haha.
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