CreativeZen Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Hi everyone, So my girlfriend (26) and I (24) have been in a relationship for quite a few years now. Had some issues, some worse than others, but we always managed and I think we both are in a headspace now where we can think about things clearly. We love each other very much and are committed on making it work. However, more and more I am starting to feel like my GF has changed. She used to be a very bubbly, outgoing type who was pretty fickle and always sought out new experiences to keep her (and us) entertained. I was the steady rock. Now I feel like she has moved to becoming a rock too and the woman I fell in love with is not completely there anymore. I still love that she is incredibly sweet, caring, intelligent and ambitious. But that outgoingness, that unpredictability is mostly gone. Is this normal when people age? Can I help her return to her old ways? Or is this a done deal and should I actually consider a break up? Thanks in advance.
basil67 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 We all constantly change and evolve as we experience life. In your girlfriends case, it sounds as though she's grown up somewhat. In what ways has this change made your relationship possibly not worth continuing? 1
Author CreativeZen Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 We all constantly change and evolve as we experience life. In your girlfriends case, it sounds as though she's grown up somewhat. In what ways has this change made your relationship possibly not worth continuing? Well, I guess the fun has somewhat disappeared? Or maybe not disappeared, but it has lessened? I understand we need to worry about bills, rent, etc. but it used to be that I was the 'rational force' who worried about such things, while she was the one who drew me out, pushed my comfort zone and wanted to all these fun, outgoing things. That perfect mix seems to have dissipated somewhat. I think she is an amazing woman, but I am just worried we drifted apart a bit? She seems to not mind her changed outlook on life.
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 She matured. Remind me of my ex-husband telling me the same thing 'I was not the same woman he met'. I don't know how many times I tried to explain to him that no, I am not 17 anymore and will never be again. That being said maybe your relationship has run its course. Not uncommon for couples that have met in their teens to grow apart in their mid 20s.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Well, I guess the fun has somewhat disappeared? Or maybe not disappeared, but it has lessened? I understand we need to worry about bills, rent, etc. but it used to be that I was the 'rational force' who worried about such things, while she was the one who drew me out, pushed my comfort zone and wanted to all these fun, outgoing things. That perfect mix seems to have dissipated somewhat. I think she is an amazing woman, but I am just worried we drifted apart a bit? She seems to not mind her changed outlook on life. Have you initiating new adventures? Do you plan dates, or do you leave this to her? Yes, people do change over time, particularly as we take on more responsibilities as adults. If she is comfortable with who she is now, you won't be able to change her to who she "used to be", per se. Have you talked to her about getting out and trying new things together again? There was another thread very similar to this recently. I'll see if I can find it and post the link; you'd probably find some helpful advice there too.
Leucine Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 She seems to have matured, and frankly, you're a tool if you're considering breaking up with her because of that lol. Initiate some fun things yourself for a change.
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