Dreamworld Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 hi I am interested in people's opinions on this... You know how in life you come across a woman whom every other female seems to detest? a woman who brings out the collective cat claws seemingly for no reason? And said woman always says that she prefers being with guys because all the women hate her? I used to think very simply and assume it was probably just insecure and jealous women who acted this way but sometimes I wonder....if every single type of female from the athlete to the princess hates this woman do you think there is a deeper reason that only I am just not seeing? There is a classmate that comes to mind as I write this and I am curious if I am the only one missing something because I seem to be the only female who is willing to talk to her. no joke. thank you!
Snakechammah Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 You mean like Samantha Brick? I don't hate anyone for no reason. If I'm going to put such negative energy 'hating' someone, it has to be for a truly personal reason (strong enough to wait in an ambush with a machete)... but in all honesty, I don't join in cat claws or whatnot to attack anyone if they haven't hurt me personally. I don't care much about another person's looks, money, social status, boyfriend, smoyfriend... whatever. If they like to flaunt it in my face, wokay.. I still won't care and am not envious. It doesn't faze me so what's there to hate? Different women have different levels of insecurity. Some may like to put others down to make themselves feel better. Others are bullyable doormats. Rarer still are those with healthy self-esteem that don't really bother about 'cliques', popularity or girl fights. There are more important things in life than to be jealous of someone else!
Taramere Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I think there are some women who just gel really well with men. Like football, sports, computer gaming, beer etc. If other women were to say "she's just pretending to like those things to bond with the guys" then that would be pretty unfair. Some women just generally do gravitate towards traditionally masculine interests/tastes. Where my radar would be raised about a woman like that would be if she made a lot of noise about being "different from other women" (especially if she's making that kind of noise around men who are normally very vocal in their criticism of "most women"). Or if she goes on about other women not liking her. But really, it would depend on the extent to which she did that. It could be an isolated bit of behaviour brought on by having recently felt uncomfortable around a particular group of women. I wouldn't make much of a judgement on one or two comments...but if a woman were habitually bad-mouthing women generally (and presenting herself as a golden exception) then I'd think she was probably projecting her own insecurities, self loathing etc onto other women. 7
Els Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I don't think it's a big deal if a woman has mostly male friends - some women are in male-dominated careers, have "masculine" hobbies, etc, and consequently have fewer opportunities to bond with women. But if she's carrying on and on and on about how 'all women hate her', that's an entirely different story and in that case my suspicion would rest on her, not on 'other women'. In my experience, people who are all 'woah is me, X gender all hate me" (regardless of their gender and the gender they are complaining about) usually have something really messed up going on. Perhaps a victim mentality, or an extremely repulsive personality, or a nasty vicious streak. Either way, not good news and I would avoid them. 3
basil67 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I can't think of any woman who falls into the category of being hated by all other women. Is this really a thing? 6
Els Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I can't think of any woman who falls into the category of being hated by all other women. Is this really a thing? Most people who claim that actually aren't, they just believe that they are (hence victim mentality, or extremely deep insecurity). In truth most people are probably ambivalent towards them. 2
carhill Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Like hetero men see men's behaviors without the goggles of sexual attraction, so do women see women's. The closest I've come to crossing that line where I could see traction for women generally despising one woman is where I've interacted with MW's who appear to lure in men of all types, married and single, and, well, other women appear to find that abhorrent and choose not to associate with them. Some have had mental or emotional issues and some had substance abuse issues but I could see, once I took off the goggles of 'wow she's hot', I could understand better why other women avoided them. Those were also the ones who, at least those who sought out EA's, complained that women were hard to get along with and they didn't have any female friends. Hence, when I went looking for a wife I made having healthy female friends a preference and, having been married to a lady who did, I could see the difference. Sure, none of us is universally liked but forming and maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships with at least some people, including those of both genders, is essential in life if we're going to be social creatures. 4
Got it Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I can't think of any woman who falls into the category of being hated by all other women. Is this really a thing? I agree. I really don't think this is real. 2
JustGettingBy Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I went to college with a woman who started to 'spend time with the men because the women were too much drama'. Right when she started to do that, the men started having a lot more drama and the women started having a lot less drama. Luckily, everyone figured out what was going on quickly enough, lol. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) I think women get along very well with one another.....just don't throw a man into the party... All kidding aside., it does seem like this dynamic exists...Women who keep company with men tend to be labeled [] by other women, regardless....People often talk about men being competitive with other men, but I have actually noted the opposite to be mostly true...Women do often get into spats with one another for a variety of reasons..We were actually speaking of this among male relatives over the Christmas holiday...All of the "beefs" that have occurred over the years have always been among the women....100% of the time.. TFY Edited January 3, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language 1
salparadise Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Hence, when I went looking for a wife I made having healthy female friends a preference... Probably the single most effective strategy for avoiding psychos. Women assess other women with finely tuned insight and intuition. There might be an exception or two on the planet somewhere, but generally speaking if other women will not invite her into their inner circles there's problem. I would also add, if her female friendships are recent, intense, and with women who don't have stable a network... beware. It's not voodoo. It's the canary in the coal mine principle. 4
carhill Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 The best examples of the thread topic that I encountered were generally able to easily make acquaintances of both genders but tended to move around a lot and weren't, by their own admission, able to sustain friendships. It was a common complaint (by them). They had no problem attracting men so managing that to a stable of orbiters worked better. That process didn't work with women so associations, from what I saw over years, appeared transitory. OTOH, the lady I married still had female friends from high school she and I traveled to see and she had a couple of best female friends who had been in her life for a decade or more. They were like a 'club' and did things regularly. Most were married and had their own circles of female friends, whom we'd sometimes interact with. Etc., etc. In the prior examples, it's impossible to know if such women would be hated by 'all' women. My takeaway was that they themselves complained that other women were catty and hard to get along with and they couldn't make friends with women and 'got along' with men better. OK. Observation bore out some of that so I tended to believe them. I'm sure some woman somewhere out there would like them; perhaps, like with dating, a smaller pool and hard to find.
LydiaLong Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 The only women I hate are the ones whom my husband once loved. There, I said it. 2
Author Dreamworld Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 Thank you. Your responses were very helpful. Yes, like someone said, no woman wanted to invite her to anything or let her join their social circles; heck, there was a college end of the year get together of us women that another classmate and I were arranging and when I mentioned inviting her, almost all ( i really am not exaggerating) the girls who said they were coming said they didn't want to attend if she was attending. Slightly flustered I asked one of them why all this middle school drama and the only answer she gave me was : "she doesn't act the same around everyone. And you don't know her that well. Plus she's known to be completely f-ing boy crazy. " Does being boy crazy have anything to do with this? I know I am pretty boy crazy too and I am obvious about it but I still have really good female friends. But yes, like others commented here, she does tend to lament a lot that she just can't seem to make friends of the same gender and she doesn't understand why.
losangelena Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Well, in my friend group, mainly comprised of straight women and gay men, things go a bit differently. New friends don't get invited in willy-nilly, you get introduced and then get absorbed slowly if the group cottons to you (I didn't create this dynamic, by the way, I'm a late comer). There was one women who none of the other women liked for a while, but it was because she has the most irritating laugh known to humankind, and she also drinks too much at every single function, and it's annoying. However, the eyerolling stopped eventually and now everyone likes her or at least accepts her. It was pretty touch and go for a while there, though.
PPan Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 hi I am interested in people's opinions on this... You know how in life you come across a woman whom every other female seems to detest? a woman who brings out the collective cat claws seemingly for no reason? And said woman always says that she prefers being with guys because all the women hate her? I used to think very simply and assume it was probably just insecure and jealous women who acted this way but sometimes I wonder....if every single type of female from the athlete to the princess hates this woman do you think there is a deeper reason that only I am just not seeing? There is a classmate that comes to mind as I write this and I am curious if I am the only one missing something because I seem to be the only female who is willing to talk to her. no joke. thank you! There are women out there who are so beautiful that they really can't find female friends who'll stick around for long because of the jealously they feel for her. Is that what you are talking about? Or are you talking about those women who mostly have male ''friends'' under the excuse that ''most'' women are catty and that guys are much simpler to deal with? 1
preraph Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 It's because women see through their manipulative facade. They come in more than one form, of course, but in general THEY are the ones who can't stand competition and will cry on the shoulder of men playing the victim. The movie "All About Eve" comes to mind. They generally have no qualms about moving in on men who are taken and getting their attention by "needing" them and flattering them and telling them they're heros or whatever. Most women can see right through this, but men seem to be vulnerable to it because they want to believe all that crap. These women don't WANT female friends because they don't want any constraints of conscience on them for when they want to snag someone else's man, as the old Dolly Parton song "Jolene" says, "just because she can." And then discard him. 1
seekingluck Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I can't think of any woman who falls into the category of being hated by all other women. Is this really a thing? I have met plenty of women who have no female friends and think all women hate them or are jealous. Generally what they all have in common is that they claim all women are jealous and catty and talk trash behind their back. Reality is that woman is generally really unpleasant to be around. I remember another "friend" who also said that. Meanwhile when we were out she would say that every man was always checking her out because she was so beautiful. And she would go out of her way to flirt with your crushes, after she knew your were crushing. I generally don't hold a grudge but this woman is on my sh*t list. I wrote her off completely. She has tried to make amends over the years but she did too much to make me mistrust her. Not so much to me, but to half of my close friends. She was the catty one. I have gone through phases of being way into sports and having lots of male friends. It never hindered my female friendships. And most of those male friendships fell by the wayside, but the female ones are still holding strong. Some of my female friends are super tomboys. Others are super girly. The tomboys zone out when we talk about stuff they aren't interested in and vice versa. Always skeptical about a woman who has no female friends. She is usually the problem.
Kamille Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 You know, I just remembered one scenario in my life where a group of friends disliked one of my friends. To be fair, she had a habit of hitting on and usually hooking up with taken men. She had broken up a few couples. She even hit on her best friend's boyfriend at one point, ending their friendship. She prided herself on the fact that if she wanted a man, she could get him. And that was very important to her, more than her friendships. The rest of us tend to think friendship is more important than a hook up, so I can understand why my friends were weary of her. I have since moved away, but I still appreciated spending time with her. I didn't invite her to group events often. So, if you enjoy this woman's company, hang out with her. You don't have to invite her to group events to be her friend.
xxoo Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I've been warned about a woman by other women a time or two. Usually my first instinct is to wonder about the quality of the men if the women are worried about a woman stealing their man. The most recent time, she turned out to be someone I really like. A bit of a loner, and we were never close friends, but funny and bawdy as heck. I like that. 2
Anderlie Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 If your female friends are calling her boy crazy it usually means she's a sh*t stirrer who hits on all their boyfriends right in front of them so yeah, that would be why all the women hate her. Personally I always side eye women who say they can't be friends with other women. I don't worry about those who have male friends, that's no big deal but if the woman is saying it's because all other women are terrible I eye roll at her internalised misogyny and move on.
stillafool Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 It sounds like these women don't want this woman around because she's attractive and may arouse their men. It's hard for me to believe that someone is so bad that no one wants them around simply because they are different. 1
todreaminblue Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 i used to feel this way a lot...now not so much......i still have more male friends than female.....but i have made more female friends as i have gotten older....i still get inklings of nastiness......i tend to try and brush it off ...i am not a girl anymore...and i dont need their crap..and i am not the type to fall in line......not everyone has to like me...just those whom i truly care for...matter to me....deb 3
Tayla Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 When a person thinks less of themselves... its common to be catty of others. Looking outward is so much easier then taking ones own inventory. A truthful observation does seem to ground the situation. never a need to be jealous, there is too much to marvel at to let such cloud the scenery. 1
Toodaloo Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 I am one of those women. I have had abuse from other women about all sorts of rubbish. It gets depressing. I have been accused of chatting up/ sleeping with husbands, During my 4 year celibacy stint I am supposed to have slept with all manner of men (rumours all spread by women). When I meet a male friends girlfriend for the first few times I will not wear make up and I will purposefully wear dowdy clothes to make sure I am not seen as a threat. Yes I am serious. Yes it has been that bad. Even then I usually get bitchy looks and snide comments for no reason at all. Its happened as a teenager and all through my adult life. Its part of what has turned me into a semi recluse. I am not particularly stunning or slim or amazingly attractive. I am not ugly but I am not Gods gift. It has been awful at times. I have had women threaten to beat me up and put me in hospital on a few occasions all I did was say hello and talk to them the same way I would anyone else. That said my two best friends are both women and I adore the ground they walk on. It actually makes me really sad as I always wanted to be part of a group of girlfriends and "go out with the girls"... Never happened. Now I just accept it and move on. Many women can be really catty and nasty towards each other. I don't like it. I don't have male friends who are like that either. The problem with having mostly male friends is that I am blunt. Really blunt. I have no clue how to be sweet and girly. I have no clue how to talk about fashion or make up etc. So these days I just have nothing to say to most women I talk to. I have nothing in common with them. Such a shame really but as it is. 2
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