Terry8889 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) Hi I went out to a bar/club with my best friend, only the two of us. We were having fun until this guy came to ask my friend to go dance with him (he was by himself). So she said I can't I am with my friend we are here together, but the guy didn't care and stood there trying to make her dance with him,even though I was dancing with her face to face. So he got behind her, hold her hands and kept dancing. He then turned around her giving me his back, hugging and being all over my friend even kissing her. I guess she liked the guy bc she didn't reject him. Anyways, the place was completely full so I was standing there now awkwardly dancing by myself like an idiot while this guy was all over my friend. A guy came and started dancing behind me, but I didn't like him and I kinda moved away from him. Another guy next to me was dancing like an idiot and kept stepping on my feet. So I got annoyed that my friend did not tell this guy that was dancing with her to go away. They kept dancing holding hands and hugging for good 10 mins. I was feeling very awkward and told my friend I was going to the bathroom and I left. When I got out of the bathroom she was standing outside and I told her I got bored and upset bc the place was too crowded and sweaty were people pushing and stepping on me, etc. Despite that I had the intention to go back to the dance floor again with her and kept our night going, I thought that guy finally went away. But when I turned around there he was again, he came to hug my friend again and wouldn't let go of her. So I finally just sat down to check my phone and she asked if I wanted to go home and I said YES!. We went to get our coats and the guy kept holding my friend's hand the whole time and even followed us to the exit door. I was so pissed off this a.s.shole wouldn't go away. I mean Helloo! we are two girls in a club together and you go all over my friend and ditch me like I don't exist. Anyways idk if me getting upset was justified. We left the place early than expected and my friend was not that happy to leave but I was not happy I was being ditched and ignored either. Anyways what am I supposed to do in cases like this, if it happens again sometime? Should I just go away, find someone for myself and let my friend flirt with guys? idk. Was my friend being a douchebaguette for letting this guy just get in front of me and ditch me? idk Edited January 3, 2016 by Terry8889 1
lollipopspot Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I think you should have just danced by yourself. If someone comes over to you dance with them, get away from them and find someone else, or just be by yourself. I don't think your friend was required to dance with you all night. This is exactly why I like to go dancing by myself. I don't want to be tied at the hip to someone. You weren't ditched, she didn't leave without you, she just wanted to dance with someone else for awhile.
Author Terry8889 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 Idk but if it the roles would have been switched I would have never let my friend get cut off by this guy. I mean yes one thing is dancing a few songs with someone but not the whole dam night and pretend my like your friend isn't even there. I might as well go by myself next time.
lollipopspot Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Idk but if it the roles would have been switched I would have never let my friend get cut off by this guy. I mean yes one thing is dancing a few songs with someone but not the whole dam night and pretend my like your friend isn't even there. I might as well go by myself next time. Maybe your timeline is confusing, but you talk about them dancing for 10 minutes, then you see her with him again when you get out of the bathroom and insist on going home. That doesn't sound like the whole night - that whole episode sounds like less than 20 minutes.
preraph Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I hate to throw cold water on you, but the whole point of two girls going out to a club is to meet guys, right? She is not your date. She is a free agent. Do you maybe have more feelings for her than just friendship? I mean, as long as the girl you go with out lets you know she's leaving or going to go sit down and have a drink or whatever, that's all she is obligated to do. You're there to meet people, not glom onto each other.
Author Terry8889 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) Maybe your timeline is confusing, but you talk about them dancing for 10 minutes, then you see her with him again when you get out of the bathroom and insist on going home. That doesn't sound like the whole night - that whole episode sounds like less than 20 minutes. 10 mins had passed when I decided to leave to the bathroom and let her dance with the guy. When I got out she was standing outside on her phone, I had the intention to go back to the dance floor again bc I thought the guy was gone when I turned around within seconds there he was again. So I sat down to clean my blouse bc someone spilled a drink on me and I let my friend chat with the guy. They made out, she got his number and she asked me if I wanted to go home, I said yes bc we still had an hour drive to get home. We have gone to tons of clubs and we have been friends for 8 years, we are like sisters and this has never happened before. (I am not romantically attracted to her as someone suggested) I was also upset bc while we where there I told my friend I didn't like going to Latin clubs all the time. And she said: "oh now you don't like Latin music anymore and you only date white guys, why are you trying to be someone who you are not?" I was like what the hell are you trying to say just bc I have certain music preferences and I have mostly dated white men, it doesn't mean I am trying to "be white". I love Native American/indigenous music but that doesn't mean I am trying to be indigenous... So by their logic if I do not marry a Latin man or like Latin music I am pretending to be "white" or something I am not? That is a messed up thing to say. I guess I was not really in the mood last night bc of that. BTW she had also cockblocked me in the past when we were at a friends party and I was in a room doors-closed having fun with a guy. Out of nowhere she knocked the door and demanded we had to leave bc she had already called a cab (I was completely sober btw). I had to leave bc I was staying at her place for the night. Anyways, I have decided to just avoid going to clubs/bars when there is only two of us, or maybe I need new friends. Edited January 4, 2016 by Terry8889
basil67 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 We have gone to tons of clubs and we have been friends for 8 years, we are like sisters and this has never happened before. (I am not romantically attracted to her as someone suggested) I was also upset bc while we where there I told my friend I didn't like going to Latin clubs all the time. And she said: "oh now you don't like Latin music anymore and you only date white guys, why are you trying to be someone who you are not?" I was like what the hell are you trying to say just bc I have certain music preferences and I have mostly dated white men, it doesn't mean I am trying to "be white". I love Native American/indigenous music but that doesn't mean I am trying to be indigenous... So by their logic if I do not marry a Latin man or like Latin music I am pretending to be "white" or something I am not? That is a messed up thing to say. I guess I was not really in the mood last night bc of that. BTW she had also cockblocked me in the past when we were at a friends party and I was in a room doors-closed having fun with a guy. Out of nowhere she knocked the door and demanded we had to leave bc she had already called a cab (I was completely sober btw). I had to leave bc I was staying at her place for the night. Anyways, I have decided to just avoid going to clubs/bars when there is only two of us, or maybe I need new friends. If the two of you have had only these three misunderstandings over 8 years, I think you're over reacting. Things don't always go to plan - especially on nights out and when we're socialising and drinking. I think you should let this one slide. 1
basil67 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 I hate to throw cold water on you, but the whole point of two girls going out to a club is to meet guys, right? WHAAAT? So this is why I go out with my best girlfriend we have guys trying to bother us. Can't they just see that we're two girls out for a night together?
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