Jump to content

Girls who dated black guys?

Thaymore

By Thaymore
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

67Chevelle Established Member

67Chevelle

Posted
Posted

If I began dating a woman, how would I know the race or ethnicity of the men in her past anyways? I have never asked a woman that question. The only way I would know is is she said something, or if we bumped into him and she told me it was one of her ex's.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
I am an asian girl and although I have not dated any in the past, I am not planning to avoid any for the future. I am just surprised and to be honest, a little turn off by how asian guys react to such issues.

It isn't just Asians who are racist btw.

 

Do non black women feel the same way if a man from their race dated a black woman? Would they now feel that his penis is now ruined because it has been in a black womans vagina?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

I had no idea this was a thing. What is our world coming to?

  • Like 2
losangelena Established Member

losangelena

Posted
Posted (edited)

I hate to say that I'm not surprised, but this attitude frankly makes me want to go jump out a window. Someone would seriously not date someone else just because they once dated a black person? What in the small-minded what is that about? If someone's that insecure and/or racist, good, they can stay away from me.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language
  • Like 2
ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted

It's because they believe the stereotypes about us being endowed in the genital area and thus being superior lovers. Insecurity.

 

:laugh:

  • Like 10
Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

Posted
Posted

Yes, there are guys like this and it's not a new thing, I started going out with my husband in 91 and experienced it. Some guys have this assumption that a white girl that's with a black guy is low class or damaged in some way, and we must either be hoes or crazy, because it's unfathomable that we would genuinely like and want to be with a black guy.

 

A white guy once told me that black guys could be with fat or ugly white girls and white guys wouldn't care- but I was too pretty for a black guy. And since I was with a black guy, from then on, white guys would assume I did it for a big dlck or that I had daddy issues. He said he wasn't trying to be a jerk, he was just being straight up and was warning me:o.

 

It's racist and ridiculous, but it's not uncommon. I know other interracial couples and we've talked about it. It's definitely something that some white guys have an issue with. It sucks people are like that, but it's the reality of the world we live in. It's best to just surround yourself with positive people who see others as individuals. If someone views you as tainted simply because of the color of your ex, that's not the right person for you anyway. There are plenty of white guys who don't have those preconceived ideas or a superior attitude.

  • Like 5
Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted

the more I hear of these stuff, the more i hate the world I am living in! What's wrong with you people, how can you be so racist! and no don't tell me it's not racist to think this way..

Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted
There is no "slippery slope" to transcribe a persons personal choice. Where is the labeling or derogatory context? Without tone or inflection and mannerism to link the conversation we are left with the words. From that I standby the interpretation as a preference.

 

no it's not a preference

it's racism

 

preference when you say I like to date black guys or Asian guys or blond guys whatever.

 

but when I say I won't date a guy who dated a black girl before

that's racism and hatred

 

plain and simple!

  • Like 4
Gold Pile Established Member

Gold Pile

Posted
Posted

I know it's politically incorrect to express any individual preferences. But the truth is I'm only attracted to women that share my individual preferences.

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
It's because they believe the stereotypes about us being endowed in the genital area and thus being superior lovers. Insecurity.

 

:laugh:

 

No its your open mindedness and experimentation with toilet roll tubes that got me! :cool:

 

Got to love Blue Peter...

  • Like 2
sandylee1 Established Member

sandylee1

Posted
Posted
What's the reasoning for this?

 

Jealousy.. they think black guys are better in bed.

sandylee1 Established Member

sandylee1

Posted
Posted

There are also black guys who dislike the thought that their GF has been with a white guy. One told me it's like the slave trade all over ... white men taking good black women.

 

 

It boils down to narrow mindedness and racial prejudice in many cases.

  • Like 3
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

Yes, it's ridiculous.. But everyone judges and those judgements could easily be seen as just as ridiculous...

 

I mean, it's not mean that a woman dismisses a short guy for no other reason than he doesn't have height or drives a POS hooptie, but its somehow horrible that a guy makes similar judgements that don't make sense??

 

I know, that's different....:rolleyes:

 

Let's get real people....The minute you accept anyone for anything, then Ill join in the bash fest....Until then, I'll just mind my own business..

 

TFY

road Established Member

road

Posted
Posted
There are also black guys who dislike the thought that their GF has been with a white guy. One told me it's like the slave trade all over ... white men taking good black women.

 

 

It boils down to narrow mindedness and racial prejudice in many cases.

 

 

Yes prejudice is a factor but not the only factor.

 

 

It boils down to more then just prejudice there is also the factor of too many men going for a limited supply of resources for there are not enough attractive, white, black, Indian, US Indian, Asian, Jew, Christian, Muslim, whatever women to go around for all of the men in their own group. They feel they already have too much competition amongst men in their own ethnic racial religious group. They do not want more.

 

 

Finding a mate involves dealing with feelings and emotions. To expect logic to override everything else is unrealistic.

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
There are also black guys who dislike the thought that their GF has been with a white guy. One told me it's like the slave trade all over ... white men taking good black women.

 

For that matter there are black guys who look down on any white girls who've been w/white guys or consider them as viable options. :rolleyes:

 

There are certainly sexual castes among all the others, usually defined differently by diff ppl. And while they're not exactly inspirational, I'm not sure they genuinely involve racism, at least not always. Forex a black guy who looks down on a white woman who dates white men might be doing so bc he sees her as lacking the self-respect to 'demand' the best in terms of sexual satisfaction, not necessarily bc he just hates white ppl. The supposed lack of sexual proficiency may be race-based but his disdain is based on the lack of proficiency, not the race. At least theoretically.

MrNate 2.0 Established Member

MrNate 2.0

Posted
Posted
Is it true that most asian guys and white guys will not go out with a girl who dated a black guy? I was at a party tonight with some of my guy friends and this topic came up. I was so surprised that most of the guys ACTUALLY said they will be a little turned off if their girlfriends dated a black guy before. Loveshackers, especially guys, what do you think?

 

From a chocolate brotha here, that is actually a thing.

 

It's pretty sad but a lot of it just comes down to good ole insecurity. I'm sure that doesn't stop white/Asian girls etc from dating them, as it shouldn't. If a guy is worried about if a girl dated a black man or not, then the guy probably isn't worth dating anyway.

 

I can't completely fault them, though. We are very charming.:cool:

  • Like 7
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted
We are very charming.:cool:

 

Thats what it is...! They are not worried about their penises being too small they are worried about their attitudes being too small...

 

You know I think all of the black/ white/ asian stuff is utterly stupid and the people that engage in it complete fools...

 

So I guess for me this would be a deal breaker. Anyone so blind to think that they will be compared to an ex based on ridiculous stereotypes is just a fool...

 

I don't have much time for fools.

  • Like 1
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
They are not worried about their penises being too small they are worried about their attitudes being too small...

 

Well ....also penises. ;)

  • Like 2
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
There are also black guys who dislike the thought that their GF has been with a white guy. One told me it's like the slave trade all over ... white men taking good black women.

 

 

It boils down to narrow mindedness and racial prejudice in many cases.

 

I know. This is the reason black men give to black women who are attracted to white men. They love to use the "slave card".:sick:

  • Like 1
MrNate 2.0 Established Member

MrNate 2.0

Posted
Posted
Well ....also penises. ;)

 

Behave over there, Jen. :cool:

  • Like 1
seekingpeaceinlove Established Member

seekingpeaceinlove

Posted
Posted (edited)

Lol..it's definitely insecurity. I'm asian and my most recent ex is black. I've dated all races and the most disparaging remarks I've ever gotten from other guys about my past exes were directed towards my black ex. When prodding them about the negative remarks..I found that they almost always hinted at the sex factor (ie: penis size).

 

Complete Insecurity! Other guys are afraid they won't measure up. Lol.

 

My ex was by far the most well-off and sophistcated guy I've ever dated. And yes, he was the best lover I've ever had and actually it didn't have to do with the size of his member. ;)

 

I am an asian girl and although I have not dated any in the past, I am not planning to avoid any for the future. I am just surprised and to be honest, a little turn off by how asian guys react to such issues.
Edited by seekingpeaceinlove
  • Like 1
Tayla Established Member

Tayla

Posted
Posted
no it's not a preference

it's racism

 

preference when you say I like to date black guys or Asian guys or blond guys whatever.

 

but when I say I won't date a guy who dated a black girl before

that's racism and hatred

 

plain and simple!

 

 

LOL!!! If MY preference is to NOT get on a Roller coaster, does that mean I am racist or discriminating a roller coast?? That is basically the argument you are riding and ranting about, that surely if someone wishes to not participate then they must be racist.

The Reading comprehension skills are lacking.

No slur or hidden notations were cited by the poster to indicate racism.

Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

Posted
Posted
Yes, it's ridiculous.. But everyone judges and those judgements could easily be seen as just as ridiculous...

 

I mean, it's not mean that a woman dismisses a short guy for no other reason than he doesn't have height or drives a POS hooptie, but its somehow horrible that a guy makes similar judgements that don't make sense??

 

I know, that's different....:rolleyes:

 

Let's get real people....The minute you accept anyone for anything, then Ill join in the bash fest....Until then, I'll just mind my own business..

 

TFY

I do think it's different, though. Using your examples, it would be like a tall guy dismissing a girl because she once dated a short guy. Or a guy dismissing a girl because her ex had a POS car. Sure, anyone has the right to make any judgements they want, but we can judge their judgements, too.

 

I understand that some people make judgements about race that are based on personal negative experiences, their upbringing, stereotypes or actual observations. There are tons of reasons why people justify their racism. But if they are judging an individual black person (or a woman for dating an individual black person) based on negative opinions about black people as a group, or judging based on their negative experiences with other black people, that's not just "politically incorrect", it's racist. If people are so honest and proud to be politically incorrect, why won't they just admit they're racist?

 

My personal opinion is that there are two main reasons why some white guys are uncomfortable with this:

 

1) Insecurity- due to sexual stereotypes about black guys or feeling like he's not what she really wants or is attracted to. (White guy thoughts...Maybe she really wants black guys and is settling for me because of her family/friends/society's expectations? What if I don't measure up and she cheats on me with a black guy?).

 

2) Superiority- the white guy thinks black guys are beneath him, and devalues the woman because of this. (White guy thoughts...Eww, how could she ever find a black guy attractive? Is she crazy? Does she have low self esteem? Maybe she's trying to piss off her father? She's not good enough for me."

  • Like 2
Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

Posted
Posted
LOL!!! If MY preference is to NOT get on a Roller coaster, does that mean I am racist or discriminating a roller coast?? That is basically the argument you are riding and ranting about, that surely if someone wishes to not participate then they must be racist.

The Reading comprehension skills are lacking.

No slur or hidden notations were cited by the poster to indicate racism.

 

 

I agree that everyone has a right to their preferences and it's not racist if you aren't physically attracted to people of other races. That's no different than preferring tall guys or blond girls.

 

But if someone excludes someone specifically because they dated a black person before, can you explain to me how that's not racist? They must be judging based on stereotypes or making some negative assumption about the ex, or they wouldn't be deemed unacceptable, right?

 

If a girl's ex was a criminal, crackhead or loser who happened to be black, then I'd find it perfectly understandable why a potential boyfriend may question her judgement and reconsider dating her. And if a guy saw pics of her black ex with a huge dlck, I'd understand why he was insecure.

 

However, if someone judges an individual person simply because of stereotypes about a race, or negative opinions they have about that race, then I believe that's racist. They are not judging based on that specific black person's character, actions or private parts- they are judging based on preconceived ideas they have about the entire race.

  • Like 1
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
LOL!!! If MY preference is to NOT get on a Roller coaster, does that mean I am racist or discriminating a roller coast?? That is basically the argument you are riding and ranting about, that surely if someone wishes to not participate then they must be racist.

The Reading comprehension skills are lacking.

No slur or hidden notations were cited by the poster to indicate racism.

 

This is more like saying I don't like roller coasters and I won't date anyone who's ever rode a roller coaster.

  • Like 3
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...