Thaymore Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Is it true that most asian guys and white guys will not go out with a girl who dated a black guy? I was at a party tonight with some of my guy friends and this topic came up. I was so surprised that most of the guys ACTUALLY said they will be a little turned off if their girlfriends dated a black guy before. Loveshackers, especially guys, what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
PPan Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Is it true that most asian guys and white guys will not go out with a girl who dated a black guy? I was at a party tonight with some of my guy friends and this topic came up. I was so surprised that most of the guys ACTUALLY said they will be a little turned off if their girlfriends dated a black guy before. Loveshackers, especially guys, what do you think? Nope. I don't care the color of the guys the girls I want to sleep with have been with. I also don't care about how many guys a girl has been. Hell, add a few tattoos, some piercings, bisexuality, and daddy issues and I'm all over that. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 That's usually just a jealousy/acting out thing from what I've seen of it. A lot of non-black women have interracial things w/black guys where I'm from, and usually if/when they become available again those pledges or feelings of disdain go out the window. Link to post Share on other sites
One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Is it true that most asian guys and white guys will not go out with a girl who dated a black guy? I was at a party tonight with some of my guy friends and this topic came up. I was so surprised that most of the guys ACTUALLY said they will be a little turned off if their girlfriends dated a black guy before. Loveshackers, especially guys, what do you think? Sounds like you need some new friends. As in ones who aren't racist. 21 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thaymore Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 Sounds like you need some new friends. As in ones who aren't racist. I was super surprised too! I go to a very good university and all of them are very well educated people, two of them even have a few close black friends. I am sure they are good people but I was definitely surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 What's the reasoning for this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Sounds like you need some new friends. As in ones who aren't racist. In what way is it racist to say how they would feel uneasy? Sounds to me if someone is uneasy... then that is their feeling on the matter. Now I on the other hand do not date or get involved with a person of certain faiths... Learned the hardway that there really are some dogmas that cannot be overcome.... doesn't mean that I am discriminating... It means the persons and I simply cannot sustain a relationship where a decree determines the females subservient existence... Some preferences are subjective to the times and culture. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) In what way is it racist to say how they would feel uneasy? Sounds to me if someone is uneasy... then that is their feeling on the matter. Now I on the other hand do not date or get involved with a person of certain faiths... Learned the hardway that there really are some dogmas that cannot be overcome.... doesn't mean that I am discriminating... It means the persons and I simply cannot sustain a relationship where a decree determines the females subservient existence... Some preferences are subjective to the times and culture. What OP's bros said isn't about having preferences. They were racist views. Why would they have a problem with a girl having dating someone of a certain race? More than likely because they hold a number of negative attitudes toward that group of people. They are degrading a whole group of people just because of the color of their skin. Last time I checked, that's racism. Edited January 3, 2016 by One_Made_of_Silver 8 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 In what way is it racist to say how they would feel uneasy? Sounds to me if someone is uneasy... then that is their feeling on the matter. Now I on the other hand do not date or get involved with a person of certain faiths... Learned the hardway that there really are some dogmas that cannot be overcome.... doesn't mean that I am discriminating... It means the persons and I simply cannot sustain a relationship where a decree determines the females subservient existence... Some preferences are subjective to the times and culture. What OP's bros said isn't about having preferences. They were racist views. Why would they have a problem with a girl having dating someone of a certain race? More than likely because they hold a number of negative attitudes toward that group of people. They are degrading a whole group of people just because of the color of their skin. Last time I checked, that's racism. I agree. I have certain preferences as well, but there's a point where you can cross the line in how you express that. The preference argument shouldn't be abused. That's a slippery slope. What if someone said, "it is my preference not to have black people in my home," or "It is my preference not to promote women employees." We need to read between the lines of what's actually being said there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PPan Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 What OP's bros said isn't about having preferences. They were racist views. Why would they have a problem with a girl having dating someone of a certain race? More than likely because they hold a number of negative attitudes toward that group of people. They are degrading a whole group of people just because of the color of their skin. Last time I checked, that's racism. Hey, now. Its not racist at all. I am only attracted to white women, who belong to a certain cultural background. Am I racist for not being attracted to black/asian/south american women? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) Hey, now. Its not racist at all. I am only attracted to white women, who belong to a certain cultural background. Am I racist for not being attracted to black/asian/south american women? It all depends on your reasons for such preference, PPan, and how you vocalize those prefernces. If you don't date non white women because you aren't attracted to them, fair enough. But if you happen not date non white women because you hold a certain prejudices or negative attitudes against those types of women, that's a problem. That's what I see in the hostile comments OPs friends were making. What OP's friends were saying is, "I don't like black guys, and I'd rather not date a girl who has been with one of them." It's really ugly. And, so what if a girl has dated black guys? Is that supposed to make her a slut? What are they actually saying here? Edited January 3, 2016 by One_Made_of_Silver 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Natalie8 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Hey, now. Its not racist at all. I am only attracted to white women, who belong to a certain cultural background. Am I racist for not being attracted to black/asian/south american women? But do you also refuse to date someone who ever had an asian/black/south american partner before you even came into the picture? Not being attracted to a certain race is a preference it is not racism. But refusing to date someone who has ever dated someone from that race is a bit different. You dont have to be attracted to a persons ex partner so it shouldnt matter what race they were. What should matter is how they treated her and what kind of people they were. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Natalie8 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Is it true that most asian guys and white guys will not go out with a girl who dated a black guy? I was at a party tonight with some of my guy friends and this topic came up. I was so surprised that most of the guys ACTUALLY said they will be a little turned off if their girlfriends dated a black guy before. Loveshackers, especially guys, what do you think? I dont know if it is most guys but there are such guys. I have been with one of those. I think i started a thread about it last year. I dated a black guy about 6 years ago. He was a great person but feelings never developed so we broke up. Years later i was dating a guy who pretty much broke up with me because of this. My black guy ex came up in a chat about exes, early on. He said he was thrown but didnt say much else. However, afterwards, every time he got drunk he made little comments about how there are no pure girls left.. He would ask questions about my black ex but would belittle my answers or turned them around. The black guy i dated had a degree and his own company. The white was in a low paid manual job, a college dropout, unhealthy and drinking way too much. He really didnt have much going for him yet he felt that i was tainted because i had a black *** inside me. He really tried to get over it but couldnt get the image out of his head- his words. We broke up. He wanted to be fwb afterwards. So i clearly wasnt too tainted for that. Turns out he was dating a girl by that time. While he was with me he would refer to oriental people as chinks. I told him that it is not a word i want him to use around me. He laughed it off. Now he is dating a Chinese girl. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crazycanuck86 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I guess it's an insecureity thing (we all know the stereotype with black guys and "size") as for myself I don't care who a girls been with before just as long as she's loayal and faithful to me in the present. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thaymore Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) [A]s an Asian girl, I will date whoever I want and feel attracted to. I know some asian guys will definitely find that weird or a turn off. I have no idea why it bothers some guys to date a woman who have dated someone who is black.... Edited January 4, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redacted link to other forum Link to post Share on other sites
One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I have no idea why it bothers some guys to date a woman who have dated someone who is black.... Some people out there are racist, honey. It's not unheard of. It's up to you to decide whether you want to hang around people who think like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Believe me you have plenty of non-Black men out there who have that attitude about women who have been with Black men. Its racism. Not anymore complicated than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Leucine Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) It ultimately boils down to insecurity no matter how they try to justify it, they've watched too much porn and think every black guy has a huge dong and/or know that they're too small to compete with it. I don't have that kind of issues myself, and would be more turned off if I found out that a girl's ex was some flabby impotent white guy, because it would make me wonder about her standards. Edited January 3, 2016 by Leucine Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 havent really heard this one before....or had a problem with dating guys who have said anything like this after my ex...i have heard once you had black you never go back..which is is a crock anyway....more an uncouth lowbrow joke than anything else.........strange to hear of it....deb Link to post Share on other sites
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Honesty hour here on LS. My and I recently split and she's started seeing a hispanic guy. Our city is pretty much 50/50 white/hispanic, and I've always thought of myself as one of the few liberal minded people in a place with lots of racial tension (yeah that's right, man of the year candidate right here). But when I found out she left me for him, it surprised me how much I was bothered by his ethnicity speciically. This guy seems really cool and nice and I have nothing against him (other than flirting with my girlfriend before we broke up, dick). The best explanation that I could come up with was that I feel she likes this other guy better BECAUSE he his hispanic, which is something I could not provide her with. The white guy she dated before me had rock hard six pack abs, and that bothered me the same way. I think guys who feel a bit uneasy about girls who have dated other races are simply insecure. A man wants to be his woman's number one preference, and skin color, like height, physique are easily apparent at first glance. He isn't going to sit down with her previous partners and find out their salaries or emotional availability, he's going to judge them based on how they look and if they are more attractive or not. You can't change your race to be more preferable to your woman, and I think that can make a lot of guys insecure. The previous girl I dated was Mexican and I've been seeing a black girl recently (seriously guys, vote for me), so I wouldn't call myself a racist. But I would agree with the notion that being in a relationship with someone who has been with a different race can bring on bouts of insecurity, though I would never not date someone based on their past partners. I will say that this talk of white girls not being pure anymore is some Nazi ****. Get away from those people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PPan Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 But do you also refuse to date someone who ever had an asian/black/south american partner before you even came into the picture? Not being attracted to a certain race is a preference it is not racism. But refusing to date someone who has ever dated someone from that race is a bit different. You dont have to be attracted to a persons ex partner so it shouldnt matter what race they were. What should matter is how they treated her and what kind of people they were. Nope. I would not refuse to sleep/make-out with a girl who ever had a sexual partner from another race. I don't care about a woman's past. I get about her present. And what she does with her future is also of no business of mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thaymore Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 I am an asian girl and although I have not dated any in the past, I am not planning to avoid any for the future. I am just surprised and to be honest, a little turn off by how asian guys react to such issues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PPan Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I am an asian girl and although I have not dated any in the past, I am not planning to avoid any for the future. I am just surprised and to be honest, a little turn off by how asian guys react to such issues. Those guys you meet are probably insecure about themselves. Don't ya worry about it, you are a sweetheart. There's plenty of guys out there who don't mind whatever you do, and you don't have to tell them you slept with x guy of x race. That's none of anyone's business. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 It becomes known in your social circles tho, and if you date in those circles, there you have it. Really tho most guys who talk this game don't actually play it and they can't stay away from a woman who's available. There may even be a hidden fetish involved w/some of them. (There are a lot of white guys who get off to the idea of white women w/black guys - kind of a racial spin on the cuckold thing.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 What OP's bros said isn't about having preferences. They were racist views. Why would they have a problem with a girl having dating someone of a certain race? More than likely because they hold a number of negative attitudes toward that group of people. They are degrading a whole group of people just because of the color of their skin. Last time I checked, that's racism. There is no "slippery slope" to transcribe a persons personal choice. Where is the labeling or derogatory context? Without tone or inflection and mannerism to link the conversation we are left with the words. From that I standby the interpretation as a preference. Link to post Share on other sites
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