Fernando2826 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 My ex and I used to text one another perhaps 3 times a day on average, and then see each other perhaps 4 times a week. Friends of mine, however, use instant messaging with their partners and end up talking for several hours at a time, followed perhaps by intermittent messaging for the rest of the day. My ex had a similar scenario with her boyfriend before me. I notice that that these friends seem to have more 'in" jokes than my ex and I had, no doubt due to the increased amount of contact. However, my previous partner and I had a very strong bond of trust and were very open with one another about our issues etc, something she said she had not experienced with the guy before me, despite the level of contact. I have also heard that, despite similarly large levels of messaging with her new boyfriend, she does not entirely trust him. What do you think?
Amelie1980 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I like texting. I had some lovely messages from bfs when I was dating them. However, i like no more than 1-2 a day. Or the generic ones such as I'm on my way, I'll be late...the ones you need to send. I think texting kills conversations. If you spend hours messaging each other: pick up the phone. Talking in person makes you closer.
IronZ Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I'm the type who enjoys knowing I'm on someone's mind and they like to text me a lot. That said my current quasi-relationship thing is completely different. I totally get it though, the girl I date has a very demanding job. It's not her nature to text all day because she can't. She still finds time throughout the day to send a cute message but that's about it. I don't mind because it just makes us look forward to seeing each other that much more.
Jammer25 Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Like above, it's convenient for quick, generic messages. It can also be cute sometimes too. I've had girlfriends who enjoyed the back-and-forth texting throughout the day, if we're both at work for example. I don't like calling in general though. Circumstances permitting, I prefer to have long conversations in person.
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 To me phone calls brings me closer, not text. The man I am currently dating does not text, or very little but he calls each day for a quick hello. In a very short time his voice has become my 'feel good' moment of the day. You don't get that on text. Some people like very fused relationships and are in constant contact. I feel these people are denying themselves the wonderful feeling of anticipation. 1
phineas Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 If i'm with someone i'd rather chat on the phone or just see them with minimal texting. If it's a fwb then we only communicate via text to set up a date & maybe discuss what is on the menu for the evening. If it's a woman I know and there is nothing going on I might text them every few days & that may last an hr of catching up & possibly flirting. if it's a woman I met online I call them before setting a date then will text here & there to keep in contact before date however i try to avoid long text conversations.
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I think most of those things drive you apart & inhibit the ability to form a genuine connection with another human being. You want a lasting relationship, spend time with people not devices. 1
phineas Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I think most of those things drive you apart & inhibit the ability to form a genuine connection with another human being. You want a lasting relationship, spend time with people not devices. I agree. After so much flirty texting with women they need to meet with me or they get dropped.
carhill Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 It may be different for other folks but I find texting to be wonderful for logistics, essentially me dictating into the phone for details of stuff, but lousy for building intimacy or expressing love and care. To me the text stuff is just electrons. Great for instant silent communication in a neutral environment. 1
Blanco Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Texting is more convenient and can be a nice little pick-me-up during your day with minimal interruption. I'll say, though, that I almost always enjoyed an unplanned phone call from my then-girlfriend during the workday. You can say some lovely things via text, but for me, when I'm with someone, no written words can replicate what hearing their voice makes me feel. Assuming they aren't yelling or criticizing me, that is.
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