How to get a guy to call you instead of texting?

January 3, 2016

LOL....thank you, I rest my case!

You are emotionally unavailable..... good luck with that. :bunny:

I'm not emotionally unavaiable. I have a ton of female friends and guy friends. I could hardly have so many friends if I was emotionally distant and not given to people.

January 3, 2016

Cover story :

lol, I'm interested in women who are my equals, and not in damsels in distress. Romance was created by chauvinistic men who wanted to put women down by treating women like they needed to be wined, and dined, and had books and poetry writen for them

The truth :

Oh, I see. Well, I'm talking to several women at the same time, and I can't really remember what I say to one girl, and what I say to the next girl. My best course of action is to keep the communication to a minimum level. I provide that emotional connection during the time we hang out, but before that I can't really afford the time or the money(i can afford the money, I just don't like to waste money lol) needed to keep all of these ''emotional connections'' going. If the girl is into me she'll say to herself that I'm too busy to talk much. If she is not much into me, she can move on. It doesn't bother me either way.

Dude..your lack of respect for women with how little effort you put in is truly bothersome and this is coming from a seasoned multi-dater. The fact that you take pride in it, only makes it that much worse. Eventually your spin doctor tactics are going to blow up in your face. BTW - If you're unable to keep track of what you say to women and remember details, you should NOT be multi-dating. Back when I was multi-dating regularly, I always remembered every detail and conversation. I didn't need text for "cliff notes".

January 3, 2016

I'm not emotionally unavaiable. I have a ton of female friends and guy friends. I could hardly have so many friends if I was emotionally distant and not given to people.

I am not talking about friends dude.....many commitment phobes/emotionally unavailable people have tons of friends, they make great friends!

I am talking about emotionally unavailable within the context of a romantic intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex! And by intimate I am not talking about sex!

Which clearly you struggle with ....how can you deny this?

I mean isn't it obvious? Come on now...

January 3, 2016

I am not talking about friends dude.....many commitment phobes/emotionally unavailable people have tons of friends, they make great friends!

I am talking about emotionally unavailable within the context of a romantic intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex! And by intimate I am not talking about sex!

Which clearly you struggle with ....how can you deny this?

I mean isn't it obvious? Come on now...

Oh, that. I don't have trouble opening myself within the context of a romantic intimate relationship with a woman. I'm just not interested in that. I enjoy sex with a variety of women. Sometimes I get rejected, sometimes I don't. Why would I want a relationship? We live in the hook-up culture. It has never been easier to get sex without having to pay for it in the form and shape of a relationship. But guys do have to pretend to want a relationship. Even women who are into casual sex make a show of pretending they want something serious because they don't want to be thought of as 'sluts' and they certainly don't want men to think they are easy.

The last girl I was with claimed she had a low sex drive(slept with 20 guys) and that she was shy.

She was a nude model ,lol. I told her what she wanted to hear, and wouldn't you know that low sex drive riled up real nice.

so yeah, I'm not lying to women. I'm just saying that yeah, i want something serious. I might want. Not with her. Not right now. Not in the next 40 years I just do what works.

January 3, 2016

Cover story :

The truth :

Dude..your lack of respect for women with how little effort you put in is truly bothersome and this is coming from a seasoned multi-dater. The fact that you take pride in it, only makes it that much worse. Eventually your spin doctor tactics are going to blow up in your face. BTW - If you're unable to keep track of what you say to women and remember details, you should NOT be multi-dating. Back when I was multi-dating regularly, I always remembered every detail and conversation. I didn't need text for "cliff notes".

Bro, what lack of respect for women? It would be rather sexist of me to assume young women want to be treated like they are some sort of 19th century relic. Romance? Really? She is attracted to me, I am attracted to her. That is the only romance needed. She'll either have sex with me or won't. Romance her to increase my chances? Naww, I don't believe in buying a woman. I'd be using a dirty tactic to try and get the woman to sleep with me. I don't do that.

Sure, my tactics will blow up someday. I will just meet other women when the day comes. Its a big world out there with a lot of single women. Why I should concern myself with what might happen makes no sense to me.

Bro, on any given day of the week I approach at least 50 women I find to be attractive. Say 30 of those give me their number. I end up with a LOT of women I'm seeing. I can't possibly remember everything I say to them, now can I?

January 3, 2016

Bro, what lack of respect for women? It would be rather sexist of me to assume young women want to be treated like they are some sort of 19th century relic. Romance? Really? She is attracted to me, I am attracted to her. That is the only romance needed. She'll either have sex with me or won't. Romance her to increase my chances? Naww, I don't believe in buying a woman. I'd be using a dirty tactic to try and get the woman to sleep with me. I don't do that.

Sure, my tactics will blow up someday. I will just meet other women when the day comes. Its a big world out there with a lot of single women. Why I should concern myself with what might happen makes no sense to me.

Bro, on any given day of the week I approach at least 50 women I find to be attractive. Say 30 of those give me their number. I end up with a LOT of women I'm seeing. I can't possibly remember everything I say to them, now can I?

You will deny this no doubt! But you sound very lonely (within yourself) and sad.

Your defensiveness is unpalatable and extremely transparent! Doth protest too much type of thing. Not buying any of it.

I really do wish you the best though...I hope someday you will find true happiness and some peace....if not with others (or one special woman) at least within yourself.

January 3, 2016

I would say texting too much shows fear of communication.

This has been my take as well, or simply not very good at communication. This usually is evident in their reasons for texting, the reasons all seem to center around the other person being too much of a bother.

That being said, I do understand that texting is simply a medium that an entire generation has become accustomed to and I admit, it does have a time and place (sending short notes or a quick update).

My main issue is that the same generation is obnoxiously stubborn about acknowledging the limitation of texting and a little bit arrogant about their expectations of others to text them. I've seen people who prefer to have a battle of wills in texting through a problem instead of simply putting an end to drama and calling and communicating directly. Then there are the number of people who seem to have a nervous breakdown just because they sent a text and didn't get a response in some time frame that they deemed appropriated.

To the OP, I don't think its practical to rule out texting, however, its not too much to ask that he adds actual conversation into rotation.

January 3, 2016

This has been my take as well, or simply not very good at communication. This usually is evident in their reasons for texting, the reasons all seem to center around the other person being too much of a bother.

That being said, I do understand that texting is simply a medium that an entire generation has become accustomed to and I admit, it does have a time and place (sending short notes or a quick update).

My main issue is that the same generation is obnoxiously stubborn about acknowledging the limitation of texting and a little bit arrogant about their expectations of others to text them. I've seen people who prefer to have a battle of wills in texting through a problem instead of simply putting an end to drama and calling and communicating directly.

-----

****Then there are the number of people who seem to have a nervous breakdown just because they sent a text and didn't get a response in some time frame that they deemed appropriated.

.

^^I couldn't help but chuckle at this (quote in asterisk)......so true!

January 3, 2016

Bro, what lack of respect for women? It would be rather sexist of me to assume young women want to be treated like they are some sort of 19th century relic. Romance? Really? She is attracted to me, I am attracted to her. That is the only romance needed. She'll either have sex with me or won't. Romance her to increase my chances? Naww, I don't believe in buying a woman. I'd be using a dirty tactic to try and get the woman to sleep with me. I don't do that.

I don't agree with PPan's take on texting, I suspect that much is more of a generational/cultural thing.

However, I don't see how his texting protocol translates into all of these horrible things about him as a person. Let's not push so hard simply to prove a minor point.

The passage above actually shows a healthier attitude towards dating and women than what I see of a lot of guys. I think that too many guys spend way too much time balancing a beach ball to impress women and not enough time deciding if that woman is a good match for him.

I just think that PPan should actually call more and text less. LOL!

January 3, 2016

Just wondering in general. I'm starting to hate texting and it seems like the guys I talk to only text. How can I get them to call instead of text?

You tell them you are not into texting and would prefer they call instead. If they continue to text, ignore them. If they want to get a hold of you, they will call.

January 3, 2016

I don't mind texting. I'm a full time college student who works as well so I completely understand being busy. I told the guy I'm talking to I hate texting, he said he was busy with a friend but he never promised to call later.

I agree that texting along with calling is nice. Shows a guy is serious about the girl.

January 3, 2016

You will deny this no doubt! But you sound very lonely (within yourself) and sad.

Your defensiveness is unpalatable and extremely transparent! Doth protest too much type of thing. Not buying any of it.

I really do wish you the best though...I hope someday you will find true happiness and some peace....if not with others (or one special woman) at least within yourself.

I actually did wonder if there was something wrong with me when ran into some buddies of mine from high school who happened to be at the same bar I stopped by to get some drinks. They were single and after a couple of drinks they were talking about how lonely they felt. I was smiling and nodding and trying to be understandable, but deep inside I was thinking how can one feel lonely when there are so many women out there in the world to meet?

So many women you can hang out with a week, enjoy your time with her, and then go back to your life? To your hobbies, to your passions? Not having to let your whereabouts known to someone?The liberty to have your own house, your own things that you don't have so thsare with someone?

How it feels good when you want to hit the clubs and meet new girls, or when you see a cute girl in a bookstore and you approach her? You can't have that intoxicating feeling that one gets when approaching a cute girl - because you are in a relationship.

I don't know. I live in a college town. I see thousands upon thousands of cute women and I'm too in love with life and with beauty and with having a good time to ever wonder about feeling lonely. How can I feel lonely when a pretty blonde with dark eyes is smiling at me?

I Love being in love with women, not just with one woman. But with every woman that catches my eye!

January 3, 2016

Back to topic, I agree with RedRobin.

I am not ready to embark on a relationship yet ....not by a long shot, but I did meet a guy last week (at a coffee shop very briefly) and we exchanged business cards (my mobile number is on my card).

So he proceeded to text me. Apparently just to chat, maybe get to know me a bit, he did not ask me out.

After 3-4 texts back and forth, I said ..."we should talk...call me sometime."

About an hour went by, he started texting again!

Ugh .....this may sound harsh to some, but no thanks, I did not respond and have nexted him.

His texts weren't very engaging either.....so no great loss as far as I am concerned.

Not ready to date yet anyway, so it's just as well....but point is, when a woman asks a man to call, if he is interested he will call!

January 3, 2016

If a guy insisted on texting instead of calling, I'd assume he wasn't serious and was trying to keep things casual/multi dating. I never respond to texts. Ever. If he doesn't call, oh well.

January 3, 2016

Bro, what lack of respect for women? It would be rather sexist of me to assume young women want to be treated like they are some sort of 19th century relic. Romance? Really? She is attracted to me, I am attracted to her. That is the only romance needed. She'll either have sex with me or won't. Romance her to increase my chances? Naww, I don't believe in buying a woman. I'd be using a dirty tactic to try and get the woman to sleep with me. I don't do that.

Sure, my tactics will blow up someday. I will just meet other women when the day comes. Its a big world out there with a lot of single women. Why I should concern myself with what might happen makes no sense to me.

Bro, on any given day of the week I approach at least 50 women I find to be attractive. Say 30 of those give me their number. I end up with a LOT of women I'm seeing. I can't possibly remember everything I say to them, now can I?

Haha.. Come on man. You're using dirty tactics.

You openly admit that you don't want romance or a relationship. Just sex. Yet earlier in the thread you say that you create "emotional connections". This is manipulation and dishonesty because you know deep down you don't want any emotional attachment. That's why I say you don't respect women.

I've had my fair share of f**k buddies. So I'm not judging for only wanting sex. But they all knew where I stood from word one. I never lied or manipulated them into thinking it was more than it was. That's the difference.

If all you want is sex, there's nothing wrong with that. But you should at least give a woman a choice based on what you really want. Not creating fake emotions just to get in her pants.

January 4, 2016

Texting is the EPITOME of lame and lazy.

What would these fools have done 15 years ago when people didn't have their cell phones embedded in their palms and had to actually make the effort to CALL someone?

If you're meeting lazy asses that have no clue how to interact via VOICE, pass them by.

Hmm... I know this is a bit of a sideways reply but... I was texting like a CHAMP 15 years ago. Have had a cell phone for 17 years. I was 15 then. As soon as texting became available (about a year later), I was on it!! Never looked back!

January 4, 2016

Haha.. Come on man. You're using dirty tactics.

You openly admit that you don't want romance or a relationship. Just sex. Yet earlier in the thread you say that you create "emotional connections". This is manipulation and dishonesty because you know deep down you don't want any emotional attachment. That's why I say you don't respect women.

I've had my fair share of f**k buddies. So I'm not judging for only wanting sex. But they all knew where I stood from word one. I never lied or manipulated them into thinking it was more than it was. That's the difference.

If all you want is sex, there's nothing wrong with that. But you should at least give a woman a choice based on what you really want. Not creating fake emotions just to get in her pants.

fitnessfan...I don't think PPan would know what an *emotional connection* was ... if it hit him on the head with a 2x4.

What he thinks is an emotional connection is nothing more than him getting hot and bothered over some hot new chick he just met....getting it on with her sexually .... after which he discards her like yesterday's newspaper....as he searches for his next *emotional connection*.

He is so transparent.

Sad but it's his life......

January 4, 2016

fitnessfan...I don't think PPan would know what an *emotional connection* was ... if it hit him on the head with a 2x4.

What he thinks is an emotional connection is nothing more than him getting hot and bothered over some hot new chick he just met....getting it on with her sexually .... after which he discards her like yesterday's newspaper....as he searches for his next *emotional connection*.

He is so transparent.

Sad but it's his life......

I know what an emotional connection is. I get that emotional high when I get the first kiss from a girl. I am constantly pumped because there's always a new girl I can meet and repeat the cycle over and over again. It doesn't grow stale. It never gets old, and it never becomes boring. With hard work and dedication I could have that with the same girl. But why not have fun and enjoy my life? It would be such a waste for a good-looking guy to not enjoy all of this variety and possibilities. There are so many attractive girls who are single lol, and if you can string a sentence together and have table manners everything is pretty easy.

I don't discard anyone. A LOT of women are into casual sex. Especially women who are 18-22 years old. Don't worry guys, I tend to avoid women who are looking for something serious. I enjoy my life as it is lol.

Haha.. Come on man. You're using dirty tactics.

You openly admit that you don't want romance or a relationship. Just sex. Yet earlier in the thread you say that you create "emotional connections". This is manipulation and dishonesty because you know deep down you don't want any emotional attachment. That's why I say you don't respect women.

I've had my fair share of f**k buddies. So I'm not judging for only wanting sex. But they all knew where I stood from word one. I never lied or manipulated them into thinking it was more than it was. That's the difference.

If all you want is sex, there's nothing wrong with that. But you should at least give a woman a choice based on what you really want. Not creating fake emotions just to get in her pants.

I always disliked that mentality. ''Just sex''. How can sex ever be just sex? men have died in wars to win the hand of women in marriage. Sex in itself is pretty great, and one doesn't need to be in love to enjoy it. Yeah, I create a temporary emotional connection that is used to make the girl feel like she is not a ''slut''. I've met women who were heavily tattoo'd, bisexuals, slept with a ton of guys and if you'd approach them with , ''hey lets have casual sex'' as an opener they would have rejected you even if they were attracted to you. Both I and the girl(s) know I'm not really interested in anything serious. I'm not responsible for whatever a girl might feel, that is her responsability.

I'm not creating any fake emotion. A lot of girls attach meaning to what has no meaning. Like this one girl I met who said she had had 9 boyfriends in one year. No, she didn't have 9 boyfriends in one year. She had a FWB going for 1 month each, but I didn't tell her that. If I did I wouldn't have been her next ''boyfriend'' now would I ?

Edited January 4, 2016 by PPan

January 4, 2016

How can I get them to call instead of text?

Ha, I am the kind who prefer a short phone call than lengthy texting too. So I have been thinking about this.

First, I assume the guy is sincere and just got into the habits of texting for whatever reasons.

Then, I do gently mention I don't text much and prefer calls.

3rd, like training a kid or a pet, you have to use positive enforcement and negative enforcement. For example, when he calls, I say "I really like to hear your voice. :-)" or "I forgot how nice your voice sounds." (true statement) And when he text, I often respond with ok, yes, no, often not right away. Not to play games but I just don't text well. If a guy just text and text, I text back calling him a penpal.

In general, I found that just telling men what you want is not working. You have to train them: route A -->no deal. route B -->sweet deal. They quickly learn to go route B if they are serious.

January 4, 2016

Tell him that you're texting feature doesn't work on your phone. Or get rid of a cell phone and get a landline phone. but only use your cell phone in case of emergencies of course.

January 4, 2016

Bro, what lack of respect for women? It would be rather sexist of me to assume young women want to be treated like they are some sort of 19th century relic. Romance? Really? She is attracted to me, I am attracted to her. That is the only romance needed. She'll either have sex with me or won't. Romance her to increase my chances? Naww, I don't believe in buying a woman. I'd be using a dirty tactic to try and get the woman to sleep with me. I don't do that.

Sure, my tactics will blow up someday. I will just meet other women when the day comes. Its a big world out there with a lot of single women. Why I should concern myself with what might happen makes no sense to me.

Bro, on any given day of the week I approach at least 50 women I find to be attractive. Say 30 of those give me their number. I end up with a LOT of women I'm seeing. I can't possibly remember everything I say to them, now can I?

All due respect, I understand what you're trying to get across, but your approach to dating just isn't applicable to advising this particular thread or type question. The young college geared dating scene isn't what most women are trying to navigate. You're trying to enjoy your youth without the responsibility and hassles a relationship brings with it. Nothing wrong with that. The way you approach texting/calling/dating isn't the guideline that's being used generally... Especially by women.

And you approach 50 women on any given day of the week? That's ridiculous. Exaggerate much?

January 4, 2016

All due respect, I understand what you're trying to get across, but your approach to dating just isn't applicable to advising this particular thread or type question. The young college geared dating scene isn't what most women are trying to navigate. You're trying to enjoy your youth without the responsibility and hassles a relationship brings with it. Nothing wrong with that. The way you approach texting/calling/dating isn't the guideline that's being used generally... Especially by women.

And you approach 50 women on any given day of the week? That's ridiculous. Exaggerate much?

I approach 50 women more or less any given day of the week. I reserve a few hours per day to get numbers. Its fun. I never know if I'm going to get slapped, punched by some boyfriend that I didn't recognize as her boyfriend, or I'm getting the number.

January 4, 2016

Just wondering in general. I'm starting to hate texting and it seems like the guys I talk to only text. How can I get them to call instead of text?

Don't text back. Make it to where if he wants to talk to you, he has to take you out.

January 5, 2016

I approach 50 women more or less any given day of the week. I reserve a few hours per day to get numbers. Its fun. I never know if I'm going to get slapped, punched by some boyfriend that I didn't recognize as her boyfriend, or I'm getting the number.

Where the hell are you coming across 50 women per day? Just walking up the street stopping every female you walk past? If you're "swiping" on tinder 50 times a day that's one thing, but it's ludacris if you think anyone believes that you talk to 350 women a week. That means you're talking to 18,200 women per year.

Must be nice meeting so many ladies. Prolly the unicorn you're riding that helps. Lol

January 5, 2016

Prolly the unicorn you're riding that helps. Lol

OMG, I'm rolling on that. Yeah the math is a little fishy Pan

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