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Why did my boyfriend say that it turned him on when I got mad at him?

Everlastinglite

By Everlastinglite
in General Relationship Discussion

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Everlastinglite Member

Everlastinglite

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Long story short, we had a really big fight and made up later that same night. After we forgave each other, he told me how much I turned him on getting mad and how sexy I was.

Why did he say that? He wasnt getting turned on during our fight thats for sure. We were both extremely fired up. Lol

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)
Long story short, we had a really big fight and made up later that same night. After we forgave each other, he told me how much I turned him on getting mad and how sexy I was.

Why did he say that? He wasnt getting turned on during our fight thats for sure. We were both extremely fired up. Lol

 

Because you stood up for yourself and were strong .....and that is a turn on for many men...

 

As opposed to the passive aggressive shyt some women pull....or wanting to "make nice" all the time .....when they actually feel pissed!

 

You feel mad .......get mad! It is genuine and real.

 

Men like that...and find your feistiness and ability to stand up for yourself and stand your ground sexy!

 

Men don't want a doormat any more than women do!

Edited by katiegrl
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Wewon Established Member

Wewon

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Why did he say that? He wasnt getting turned on during our fight thats for sure. We were both extremely fired up. Lol

 

Why do you think that he wasn't turned on during the fight?

 

Does he have any reason to lie?

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted

What was the fight about?

 

Just curious....

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted
Long story short, we had a really big fight and made up later that same night. After we forgave each other, he told me how much I turned him on getting mad and how sexy I was.

Why did he say that? He wasnt getting turned on during our fight thats for sure. We were both extremely fired up. Lol

 

Passion! He knows all about make up sex!

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)

Everlastinglite...

 

Just as an FYI.....if you answer the questions posters ask...and participate/interact in the thread ....you will receive more responses. :)

 

And BTW ...you said in your OP "long story short".

 

So what's the long story?

Edited by katiegrl
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Everlastinglite Member

Everlastinglite

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Everlastinglite...

 

Just as an FYI.....if you answer the questions posters ask...and participate/interact in the thread ....you will receive more responses. :)

 

And BTW ...you said in your OP "long story short".

 

So what's the long story?

 

The details of our fight are irrelevent to my question. I'm asking why it turned him on so much seeing me get angry and mad. I don't need opinions on what the actual fight was about.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

Some guys are masochistic. Being that I am not one of them I don't understand why a man would be or what his thought process is.

Jacob_Duluoz Established Member

Jacob_Duluoz

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Smart man.

anonymousbear00101100 Established Member

anonymousbear00101100

Posted
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Especially if she is not usually confrontational or passionate, it can be a bit of a shock to see a woman standing up for herself fiercely. My ex was this way. Her cheeks get a little rosy which I found super sexy for some reason. Aggression is something men find attractive.

 

It was different when she would just complain and yell because she was in a bad mood. That's not fun for anyone.

 

If this bothers you because you think he's not taking you seriously when you're mad, I wouldn't worry about that. He's probably terrified when you fight and argue. Part of that sex appeal comes from fear, and usually only comes after you both calm down.

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dobielover Established Member

dobielover

Posted
Posted
The details of our fight are irrelevent to my question. I'm asking why it turned him on so much seeing me get angry and mad. I don't need opinions on what the actual fight was about.

 

It's actually totally relevant.

 

If you were fighting over something stupid like which salad dressing to use on your common salad and he found that hot and exciting, I'd think he has a strange quirk. If you were fighting with him over something petty and picking a childish, immature, insecure fight, he found that hot and exciting, I'd think you both have issues.

 

If he crossed a legit, objective and subjective boundary and you stood up for yourself, that's different, and a good thing.

 

He also could have been testing you.

  • Like 2
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)
The details of our fight are irrelevent to my question. I'm asking why it turned him on so much seeing me get angry and mad. I don't need opinions on what the actual fight was about.

 

I see.....

 

Okay, another question. Perhaps you will feel more comfortable answering this one.

 

How do you interact with him when you are *not* mad, and not fighting?

 

Are you passive? Emotionally closed? Incapable of opening up and communicating?

 

I only ask because if that IS the case .....your getting mad is the only time he gets to witness any sort of emotion from you ....and if he is an emotional guy by nature ....he needs that from you (emotion) in order to become turned on and maintain his attraction...

 

You may simply be a mis-match in that regard.

 

Just a thought....

Edited by katiegrl
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soph-walker Established Member

soph-walker

Posted
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Some guys are masochistic. Being that I am not one of them I don't understand why a man would be or what his thought process is.

 

This.

 

I would also wonder whether or not he took me seriously if this happened to me.

 

When you're earnestly expressing yourself, is it really right for him to be thinking afterwards 'oh that really got me going'. Because that kind of relationship wouldn't be healthy. I know couples who love to cause drama because they both emotionally thrive off it.

 

Seems cray cray to me!

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Everlastinglite Member

Everlastinglite

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How do you interact with him when you are *not* mad, and not fighting?

 

Are you passive? Emotionally closed? Incapable of opening up and communicating?

 

I interact with him like normal when we are not fighting. I dont know how to describe it.... Sometimes i can be really shy around him and he can feel it, other times im just myself and joke around a lot with him. He knows how shy I can be though, so maybe it comes off as emotionally closed to him?

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
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Sounds like a sub to me.....

 

TFY

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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I interact with him like normal when we are not fighting. I dont know how to describe it.... Sometimes i can be really shy around him and he can feel it, other times im just myself and joke around a lot with him. He knows how shy I can be though, so maybe it comes off as emotionally closed to him?

 

There have been threads created by guys discussing how they feel about shy women.

 

A few have said they find them rather dull and boring with no personality. That they lack excitement and passion.

 

Obviously, these guys don't understand shyness ....but they are entitled to their opinion I suppose.

 

Since you admit you are shy, it is possible your shyness translates into "lacks passion, lacks personality, lacks excitement." To HIM.

 

So when he sees you get mad and angry .... he gets to witness that "fire in your belly"....that passion......and it is that fire and that passion that turns him on!

 

Not that you are upset and mad necessarily.

 

This is why some men get attracted to "psycho" women too. We read about this all the time.

 

It is not their whacky behavior that turns them in ..... it's the passion and excitement they generate that turns them on. And all the intense emotion they can stir up. Which can be an aphrodisiac for some men!

 

Just another possibility to consider ......without knowing him.

Edited by katiegrl
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jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
Sounds like a sub to me.....

 

TFY

 

Could be. There is a certain type of guy that gets cowed but sexually aroused when women flex their balls.

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