Best activities to meet single people?

January 2, 2016

I'm 29 years old (well, 30 in March!) and am single.

It's a new year, so I thought I may as well take up a new activity, but am not sure what.

I have two goals in mind:

To meet new people
To meet a partner (long-term relationship, not short-term or casual sex etc.)

I don't want to duplicate what I already do in my job (which is a bit sensitive to talk about on here, all I can say is it involves disabled adults). I enjoy my job, so changing it isn't an option, I'm satisfied with that area of my life.

I am struggling to come up with ideas to meet new people. I obviously cannot rely on online dating as my only means (I did try it for a few weeks, but it's not worked so far).

Work is not a good place for me to meet single people, not just because most of the people there are either older, married, engaged or in relationships, but it's a bit risky, anyway.

I know what I'm not interested in, sporting activities are no good for me, I also have medical injuries and was never that sporting anyway (aside from occasionally playing golf at a driving range).

I did consider dance classes, being a fan of Strictly Come Dancing (or Dancing with the Stars) but realized my dyspraxia would prevent me being able to do it, at least to the standards expected of a dance class.

The problem is - many of my interests are male-dominated, or at least fairly masculine.

My interests are cars, computing, web design, Photoshop etc. which are nearly always male-dominated and mainly a solitary skill (incidentally, I can't drive per DVLA medical grounds).

I'm unsure of what hobbies are good places to meet people and that can fulfill both my goals mentioned above. Finding any that fit around my interests is one problem.

I did consider classes / night classes, but wanted to avoid duplicating what I did at university (computing/business/web design etc.)

I will admit, I sometimes see pretty shop assistants in a well-known British department store (not that I can name it here for advertising reasons) but just feel too embarrassed to flirt with them, any conversation is always "talk about the weather or news" kind of thing.

I do have a certain "type" of woman, although what "My Type" is, as Saint Motel sang about, would be a bit too long to go into here as I have flip-flopped over the past few years or so, although certain preferences have remained consistent.

I would appreciate any advice on how to get better at dating, meeting single people, since I am inexperienced at dating/relationships, and whilst I know the theory about what to do on first dates etc. - knowledge from BBC websites, about.com, Wikihow etc., putting it into practice is the hard part.

January 2, 2016

A very important and relevant topic. Thank you for raising it.

I too am struggling in this area and I would be interested to see what people think. It is tricky to think of new hobbies, particularly ones that are popular for 18-35 year old women.

Personally I would settle for something that would give me an opportunity to make some friends.

So far I have looked into volunteering. It looks like something that could be rewarding and fun, but I want to pick something that puts me in contact with plenty of people (mainly women) my age. Fundraising looks interesting because you have to approach people routinely on the street and it might help overcome rejection anxiety. More to the point, it could be used as an opportunity to chat up women (although I am not sure how voluntary organisations would feel about this if they knew that I was doing it!)

I have done a bit of public speaking before and I have heard of the Toastmasters organisation. This looks like a fantastic way to polish up my own skills in speaking confidently and assertively and holding people's attention.

Other than that, I am a bit lost...

January 2, 2016

A very important and relevant topic. Thank you for raising it.

I too am struggling in this area and I would be interested to see what people think. It is tricky to think of new hobbies, particularly ones that are popular for 18-35 year old women.

Personally I would settle for something that would give me an opportunity to make some friends.

So far I have looked into volunteering. It looks like something that could be rewarding and fun, but I want to pick something that puts me in contact with plenty of people (mainly women) my age. Fundraising looks interesting because you have to approach people routinely on the street and it might help overcome rejection anxiety. More to the point, it could be used as an opportunity to chat up women (although I am not sure how voluntary organisations would feel about this if they knew that I was doing it!)

I have done a bit of public speaking before and I have heard of the Toastmasters organisation. This looks like a fantastic way to polish up my own skills in speaking confidently and assertively and holding people's attention.

Other than that, I am a bit lost...

Thank you!

I did consider volunteering, but had the problem of what volunteering would be good and would not be a "busman's holiday" (that's a British expression for doing the same job as your day job).

January 2, 2016

Thank you!

I did consider volunteering, but had the problem of what volunteering would be good and would not be a "busman's holiday" (that's a British expression for doing the same job as your day job).

Haha. Yes. Brit here too.

It is probably about choosing the right volunteer opportunity. I am trying to bare in mind that I get to choose them, rather than them choosing me.

I thinking of something with plenty of time to chat and socialize on the job (so to speak).

January 2, 2016

TBH, in my demographic I tried just about anything other than bar cruising since I wasn't much of a drinking or bar-fly, and found I consistently met the most single women, outside of dating sites, when volunteering at the local zoo and working every private after-hours party that I could get. I also met a fair amount of single mothers just working the regular day shift when they'd bring their kids to the zoo.

As an older guy, I've met some single women at car shows when I show one of my cars but I haven't been interested in women or dating since my divorce so nothing came of it. Still, they (my age group) were around, generally those interested in bikes and cars. I'd opine that pool is probably pretty thin since women generally aren't interested in those things.

One area I don't participate in but may have traction is church. That's a common venue that single women of faith can be found at. There are social aspects to church which foster interaction in a neutral environment. Again, not my cuppa but works for some.

January 3, 2016

Do you have any sports or outdoors clubs nearby ? I'm a member of a couple clubs here (Pacific North-West U.S.A.) and in the two I belong to the ratio of girls to guys is typically 2 to 1 for more social events (New Years party for ex.) and on more strenuous activities (hiking, mountain climbing) it's more often 10 or 12 women to 2 or 3 guys. I've actually considered cancelling my sign-up a few times because until the last minute I was the only guy signed up.

I didn't sign up to these clubs to 'pickup chics' but I can't help but wonder if I've stumbled onto a secret I shouldn't be sharing ! Most of the women are single, in their late 20s to late 30s (my age), they obviously take care of themselves and so are fit and attractive. Hell if I had the time and energy I be up for dating about 75 of them !

The other activity that I do, and again maybe I should just keep my mouth shut (don't want too much competition), is I belong to several art clubs (fine-art painting/drawing). The last meeting I went to a couple weeks ago, was a presentation from a paint supplier (not our typical thing but) there was myself and 2 other guys and then about 20 women (various ages but at least 8 of them in my age bracket), and again those around my age were all single, attractive, intelligent and creative (interesting to hang out with).

I'm mostly a car guy and a motorbike guy and a hockey guy etc. but I gotta say I've found my utopia with my two other hobbies, like shopping in a candy store when the owner is off on a coffee break !

January 3, 2016

Do you have any sports or outdoors clubs nearby ? I'm a member of a couple clubs here (Pacific North-West U.S.A.) and in the two I belong to the ratio of girls to guys is typically 2 to 1 for more social events (New Years party for ex.) and on more strenuous activities (hiking, mountain climbing) it's more often 10 or 12 women to 2 or 3 guys. I've actually considered cancelling my sign-up a few times because until the last minute I was the only guy signed up.

I didn't sign up to these clubs to 'pickup chics' but I can't help but wonder if I've stumbled onto a secret I shouldn't be sharing ! Most of the women are single, in their late 20s to late 30s (my age), they obviously take care of themselves and so are fit and attractive. Hell if I had the time and energy I be up for dating about 75 of them !

The other activity that I do, and again maybe I should just keep my mouth shut (don't want too much competition), is I belong to several art clubs (fine-art painting/drawing). The last meeting I went to a couple weeks ago, was a presentation from a paint supplier (not our typical thing but) there was myself and 2 other guys and then about 20 women (various ages but at least 8 of them in my age bracket), and again those around my age were all single, attractive, intelligent and creative (interesting to hang out with).

I'm mostly a car guy and a motorbike guy and a hockey guy etc. but I gotta say I've found my utopia with my two other hobbies, like shopping in a candy store when the owner is off on a coffee break !

Some cracking leads. I am going to get right on it.

Thank you for sharing.

January 3, 2016

Go on a yoga retreat. Seriously...all chicks on yoga retreats. Or join a yoga class.

January 3, 2016

Hey I totally feel you. It's hard to meet people the right gender and/or age to date from my current volunteering activities. Like you, everyone at work is married. You could try meetup.com and see if there are any interesting activity groups to join on there. You could also try joining a sports club and getting involved with your university alumni society. The best way is to get to know someone over a longer period of time. It's really hard to turn a momentary interaction into anything so don't worry about not chatting up the department store ladies. I hope you are successful with finding somewhere to meet the opposite sex. I'm curious to see what people come up with here as I am in need of the same advice!

January 3, 2016

My friend has been having good success joining museums. She is female so museums are better than the opera and ballet. But you'd be a hot commodity at he opera or ballet as a straight male.

Otherwise museum membership means special parties and events for members. You'll meet smart cultured people!

January 3, 2016

Go on a yoga retreat. Seriously...all chicks on yoga retreats. Or join a yoga class.

This is what I do. Become a regular at a studio. Yoga classes are fun, and they put me in proximity to a lot of young, sexy women. The women always outnumber the men in these classes.

January 3, 2016

This is what I do. Become a regular at a studio. Yoga classes are fun, and they put me in proximity to a lot of young, sexy women. The women always outnumber the men in these classes.

Good idea. It also depends on how accessible these kinds of places are depending on where you live. I'm from the UK and I've never seen a yoga studio before but I have been to yoga classes in the gym and the local community centre.

January 3, 2016

Alright, people will thrown their arms up but my take is you don't do things to meet people you do things because you like doing them.

January 3, 2016

Salsa dancing

January 3, 2016

OP there's a website called meetup.com, can't say I've used it myself but might be worth checking out?

January 3, 2016

Alright, people will thrown their arms up but my take is you don't do things to meet people you do things because you like doing them.

Whilst I get where you are coming from, I kind of like sitting on my a$$ with a beer, watching football. I also know that there is more to life than this and there is much to experience and do. A big part of this is socialising, making new friends and dating women.

I want these things too...but sitting on my a$$ all weekend with a beer and the football is going to make it less likely that I will experience these things, not more.

January 3, 2016

I did consider Meetup, but activities in my area relating to things I like were largely inactive - one since June 2014, another May 2013! Not good, is it?

January 3, 2016

You can start your own meetup using their website. Can't always be relying on others to provide the social energy. Think of a topic or focus that appeals to women.

January 3, 2016

Perhaps create a MeetUp group doing something you enjoy. There are probably others who wish it existed.

While you say you don't want to duplicate what you do for work, do consider attending an industry based event -- a continuing education class, a rally, a convention etc. You will meet people in your line of work, which tends to be more of a vocation, but they won't be your direct work colleagues.

Do an internet search for singles groups & things that do interest you. I had planned to join one that was going to pair me up with people to play golf. You mentioned at least a driving range.

Do mention to friends, family & trusted colleagues that you would be open to being fixed up. The older married folks may have kids or nieces & nephews or friends' kids who would be perfect for you.

January 3, 2016

My 2 cents on it:

Yes volunteering, as someone already suggested. But not just in a field you are familiar/interested in but also in something differnt to experiment/explore. You never know what you might find. If you don't like it, quit.

Try the 'MeetUp' website--it's site for finding people/groups/clubs on specific interest groups. I often see groups specifically for 'single mingle' purposes. Do a search in your area. Also try other groups, even if it doesn't appeal--just give it a shot.

Here's the ironic thing: when you join a club or group and introduce yourself as 'I don't know anything about this field, just want to see if it's for me' then actually you end up getting more attention from everyone in that group and end up meeting more new people with new interesting personalities who you otherwise wouldn't have had to chance to get to know.

January 3, 2016

You can start your own meetup using their website. Can't always be relying on others to provide the social energy. Think of a topic or focus that appeals to women.

I would do, except life issues got in the way - family commitments, Christmas, finances, bills, online banking, work etc. and I haven't got the money to do so, it can be expensive as far as I know.

January 3, 2016

I would do, except life issues got in the way - family commitments, Christmas, finances, bills, online banking, work etc. and I haven't got the money to do so, it can be expensive as far as I know.

Expensive? Are you kidding? You pick a place you like, preferably someplace you are known, like your local pub. Be nice to the venue & pick a slow night for them, like Tuesday. Create your Meet Up page & announce your group will be meeting at the location at 8:00 p.m. Where is that expensive? OK perhaps you need to invest in a Sharpie & a box of name tags but that is less then $10.

As your group grows, then you may need to rethink location & costs but if you charge an attendance / admission fee you can cover it.

January 3, 2016

Playing board games at home with a pot of tea is close to free. Get people to bring games, and often they will spontaneously bring chips, cookies and drinks. Or you could suggest that.

I know a homeless man who wanted a party, so he hosted a barbecue at a park. (It was $60 he could ill afford, but he made a lot of friends and earned enormous good will for it.)

To be successful, look for ways to make things work, not for excuses why they won't.

January 4, 2016

Playing board games at home with a pot of tea is close to free. Get people to bring games, and often they will spontaneously bring chips, cookies and drinks. Or you could suggest that.

I know a homeless man who wanted a party, so he hosted a barbecue at a park. (It was $60 he could ill afford, but he made a lot of friends and earned enormous good will for it.)

To be successful, look for ways to make things work, not for excuses why they won't.

I will do. Thank you to everyone for your help and advice!

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