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Posted

Best way to get a shy guy to open up emotionally and tell me about his past? Just want to feel closer to him as I think he's pretty damn amazing :)

Posted (edited)
Best way to get a shy guy to open up emotionally and tell me about his past? Just want to feel closer to him as I think he's pretty damn amazing :)

 

I would say baby steps. Little by little. He probably wont gush everything out in one session...and even if he did, neither of you would probably like the result.

 

I think the major factors are trust, privacy and acceptance. If he does open up to you about things, do not discuss it with other people, however tempting it may be. Not your girlfriends. not your mum, not a stranger or colleague with no connection to him...no-one. If you talk about it with others and he finds out, he may never open up to you again.

 

If you do ask him about his past. Only do it when you are alone, one on one, with no other distractions. I would maybe do it when you are both comfortable and calm and chatting away nicely. It is important that he feels safe and not under scrutiny.

 

In the moment, listen carefully and accept everything that he says wholeheartedly, as if it was just what you were hoping to hear. Think non-judgemental, understanding and compassionate. He may be anxious that you will not accept him if he tells the truth, so it is important that you indicate your appreciation for his willingness to share and keep on sharing. Maybe even say, "I like that you can talk to me about this sort of stuff" and hug him/get all close and loving with him after.

 

...remember, if he is hesitant and reluctant, be understanding. Skill-fully change the subject to something fun and positive or say "we don't have to talk about that now if you don't want to" and move the convo on. He may come back to it when he feels ready.

Edited by Brapting
Posted

Why do you want to pry into his past?

 

Spend your energy on getting to know him in the 'present'.

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Posted

Lead by example. He'll feel more comfy if he sees you taking the same risk. :)

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Posted

Shy guys respond best to assertive women.

  • Like 2
Posted
Shy guys respond best to assertive women.

 

True story.

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