todreaminblue Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 if a guy said to me on a first date that marriage wasnt on the cards i would probably tell him that he was jumping the gun......but considering that i date only to find a long term relationship and to eventually marry ...i would consider what he said seriously as a deal breaker...the cheating thing...thats a walk away with a thank you for the date i wish you well but i wouldnt be interested in a guy who thinks that he has a right to cheat........deb 1
thecrucible Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Yeah the cheating thing would make me not want another date with the guy at all. Besides the fact I obviously would disagree with what he said, I also would think he was gauche for even bringing up the subject in the first place. I mean why shoot yourself in the foot by mentioning someone that would so obviously put the other person off? The marriage I comment I would take with a pinch of salt and I'd be interested in finding out how he reached his point of view. 2
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 Yeah the cheating thing would make me not want another date with the guy at all. Besides the fact I obviously would disagree with what he said, I also would think he was gauche for even bringing up the subject in the first place. I mean why shoot yourself in the foot by mentioning someone that would so obviously put the other person off? The marriage I comment I would take with a pinch of salt and I'd be interested in finding out how he reached his point of view. he said re the marriage point...most of his family are divorced, including his parents. So he said, what is the point. I guess if you've grown up seeing all your close family members get divorced it may color your view. But he shouldnt project. Doesnt mean he cannot make a marriage work. Perhaps he doesnt want to. the cheating bit wasnt said to my face, it was in a section of the OLD profile.
67Chevelle Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 How good looking is this guy that he openly justifies cheating on his profile, and women not only communicate with him on the site, but they actually meet him in person???
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 How good looking is this guy that he openly justifies cheating on his profile, and women not only communicate with him on the site, but they actually meet him in person??? He's ok looking. Nothing special. I didnt see the cheating bit on the profile until after the date. I went back for another look. It was buried within a questions section. Some generic questions on the site such as is it ever ok to cheat on someone you date. Well at least he was honest. I hadnt seen that before I met him and I guess lots of others may not even look at anything other than the main profile. There was another question asking about marriage in there and it said he doesnt think it is always right to get married. jeez. Going on a dating and relationships website with that attitude and stating it openly. Oh well. he would never say that if he didnt actually mean it. not a keeper.
TunaCat Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 I struggle with wanting to be married, but not seeing any married couples in my family I can look up to. My mom's been married & divorced twice (both guys were *******s) my grandmother has been married 3 times (1st ended in divorce, 2nd one, the guy died) She's married again and has been for almost 10 years, but she's not happy. My uncle is a lifetime bachelor. On my bio dad's side, only ONE couple in the family has stayed married for 20+ years, but I'm not close enough to them to ask them about it. I do want to be married, and I understand that my family's experiences do not automatically mean that I cannot have a good/happy marriage. I even went to counseling to deal with this issue. Whenever I do get married, I will not allow my family's experience define my own. So it doesn't sound like this guy even WANTS to entertain the idea of marriage. It's off the table to him no matter what. If you want marriage, don't give this guy the time of day. His viewpoints on cheating is absolutely a deal-breaker. Why would anyone want to be with someone who would justify cheating?
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 I struggle with wanting to be married, but not seeing any married couples in my family I can look up to. My mom's been married & divorced twice (both guys were *******s) my grandmother has been married 3 times (1st ended in divorce, 2nd one, the guy died) She's married again and has been for almost 10 years, but she's not happy. My uncle is a lifetime bachelor. On my bio dad's side, only ONE couple in the family has stayed married for 20+ years, but I'm not close enough to them to ask them about it. I do want to be married, and I understand that my family's experiences do not automatically mean that I cannot have a good/happy marriage. I even went to counseling to deal with this issue. Whenever I do get married, I will not allow my family's experience define my own. So it doesn't sound like this guy even WANTS to entertain the idea of marriage. It's off the table to him no matter what. If you want marriage, don't give this guy the time of day. His viewpoints on cheating is absolutely a deal-breaker. Why would anyone want to be with someone who would justify cheating? I know. My parents are divorced, my brothers marriage is ending, my cousin is separated blah blah. It hasn't put me off marriage. Oh and when we were messaging, he also said his Aunt in having a second marriage...he actually said what it the point if you've already had one not work out. I am just astonished by the cheating comment. I have never seen anything like it. So i thought I'd put it on here to see if I was right to think no way in hell is he a keeper. Guess I am not wrong.
Blanco Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 This isn't the cheating ex who's now with someone else, is it?
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) This isn't the cheating ex who's now with someone else, is it? no he is long gone. i also have two other exes who cheated on me so it is a sore spot for me. I decided to do some dating. backing the hell away now. This one...took me for coffee and ice skating and then drinks. Seemed nice enough but way too eager. Kept asking me out on a million different future dates....one of them being at his place next time. I guess he'd try to seem more eager if he wanted to accelerate a connection to get sex. He messaged me the next day but I deleted and blocked after seeing his profile and what he said about commitment. felt bad but after this i give up. ive leaving it be for a while. He seemed to have a history of on/offs too. Got back with a gf and broke up again, that kind of thing. Edited January 3, 2016 by Amelie1980
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