Given2fly Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Hi, I am new here but have been reading through the forums for the past few weeks. I am hoping for some feedback on my situation. We are both 39, and have known each other in passing for about 3 years. We are both divorced, she has 2 kids, I have one. There was always a mutual attraction between us, and this past September we finally started dating. From that time we would text each other all the time, I could tell that she was really into me, and I was really into her. She was constantly telling me how happy she was with me, and how handsome she thought I was etc. It was genuine. We became officially exclusive in November. This girl had it all, looks, personality, she was fun. I fell pretty hard pretty fast. Because of our parenting and work responsibilities we were only able to see each other on weekends but we texted constantly. She had mentioned that she does go to counseling, and has mild depression and anxiety. I was understanding, although not too concerned because she just seemed so perfect for me. She also struggled a bit financially, which was understandable, although we never really got into details. Our last date was in mid December. Everything went fine. Two days later she began sending texts telling me that I was acting different and wasn't communicating, which wasn't true. A day after that she sent me a text telling me that she didn't think things were working out and we should just be friends. I was pretty shocked, I couldn't understand how someone could go from liking me so much to just ending it. I told her I didn't understand but would respect her decision. I immediately started no contact, deleted her from FB etc. I know that we were only together for a few months but I was really into this girl. The breakup came a week before xmas. I've been trying to figure this out, talking it over with friends and just remembering the time I spent with her and the things she would say to me. I could tell her feelings were genuine. I don't think another man was involved. I did not hear from her for almost 2 weeks, she texted to tell me she was sad I had deleted her from FB and didn't want to just not talk to me ever again, and she asked about my xmas. I didn't respond. She sent a few more texts the same day, saying hello? why won't you talk to me, etc. I finally responded and just said that my xmas was good and I hope hers was too. She replied that it was good but she was sad she didn't talk to me. I didn't reply. She texted again saying she misses me, so I replied I miss her too. She then said maybe we can try again slowly, with dinner or coffee, and that she hates not talking to me. I just replied that she confuses me. She then said she hates not talking to me and if I want to get back together with her then she guesses we can try. That was shocking. I just said I don't know what I want to do. She then said she wants to be friends and maybe more, and she just wants to spend time with me. I stopped responding. Last night she texted me again saying she hopes I am having a good New Year's Eve, and she wished I was there to kiss her at 12 to start 2016 off happy. I didn't reply. Are these texts just breadcrumbs or does this sound like someone who is serious about reconciliation? I'm very skeptical as I don't understand the reason for the breakup to begin with, and I'm not sure what I should do next? Wait?
MzLady Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 You should just ask instead of trying to read into ot so much. I've had exs come back saying the same types od things and so I just ask... Usually it's along the lines of It's nice to hear from you.. But where are you going with this?" It gives her a chance to say what's on her mind and you some clarity hopefully. If she dodges the question.. Then it is breadcrumbs for sure.. Block her and get back to healing. Best of luck
ExpatInItaly Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Personally, I don't think I'd waste my time. Only a couple months in and she is already being inconsistent; it doesn't bode well for a future together. However, if you consider getting back together, I would tell her that she needs to first communicate why she ended it. Don't let her turn it around on you, as it sounds she might try to. I would make it crystal clear that any type of reconciliation isn't possible unless and until you know what caused this break-up in the first place.
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