Author Easyguy14 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Posted January 5, 2016 How good-looking was the guy who did that? I don't judge men's looks but he wasn't anything special as in average height and weight and dressing, nothing particular. It was how he handled her and it was allowed by her to be handled in that manner by him which I have a major problem with because these are all games to allure mindless women. And yes that's how they're acting these days ok. I'm a serious guy but that's me by nature. I don't act snarky and witty and rude. I kid around. I have a sense of humor but I don't taunt people. Its against my nature but a lot of women now seem to prefer these games over real substance.
JustGettingBy Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Would just like to point out: Women like confidence Jerks have a tendancy to show confidence since they're so self-centred Its possible that women graviate towards jerks thinking they're confident. Are there confident guys who aren't jerks? Yes, plenty the problem for women is it can take a while for them to notice the difference in such a short period of time. 1
thecrucible Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 OP, you're talking about a bar atmosphere. Bars can be a very shallow environment and no one is really going to be taking much seriously. It's all just fun and games. I've been chatted up by guys in bars I would never consider as real life relationship prospects but it's all just a bit of fun. However unlike a particular woman you mentioned I wouldn't be pining over a guy who genuinely was acting like a jerk. Also please don't generalise. You said: I have a major problem with because these are all games to allure mindless women. and then.. Its against my nature but a lot of women now seem to prefer these games over real substance This is one night in a bar and you are referring to "a lot" of women. There are so many women you haven't met and in different scenarios who wouldn't act like the women you described. It could be confidence that makes that man appear attractive. It could also be that he seems at ease with himself. Anyway, as I implied above, it's quite possible that some of those women were just having a laugh and a flirt and really didn't take that guy seriously anyway.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 Because it's men that have to have boundaries more so than women
GravityMan Posted January 7, 2016 Posted January 7, 2016 Many (but not all) bars and clubs tend to attract a clientele that likes the party atmosphere. People are unwinding at such venues after a day or week of work...they just want to let it hang loose, have a good time and not take things too seriously. Flirting, banter, dancing, karaoke, beer pong, etc is all part of the fun...that goes for both men and women. While not impossible, bars and clubs aren't the best place to meet women that you actually want to date seriously. Also OP...you just don't seem like the type of guy that's a good fit for the bar/club scene. It's pretty easy to tell when someone just seems a bit out-of-place at a bar, club or other nightlife venue. With that said, any guy who has the following is probably going to attract the interest of many women: - Confidence - Self-respect/self-worth. Having self-respect and valuing your own life goes a long way towards not being "easily attainable". - Presence. In other words, "owning the room", or having the "it" factor. Ideally in a non-jerky way. There are talkative guys, fairly quiet dudes, extroverts, introverts, etc who have strong presence. Plenty of them are kind people. Most others can intuitively sense the presence in those guys almost immediately. BTW...presence is not a must-have (not many people have it IMO), but it is a strong plus. - Sense of humor. Witty. - Interesting life and/or personality...i.e. the kind of person that others find curious and want to get to know better. Having a bit of an edge may be a plus, too. - Direction in life...a passion or two. - Decent looks (subjective to an extent). No need to try and look like a GQ model or NFL quarterback...but you probably shouldn't look like a slob. Pretty low threshold to cross. I darn near guarantee that any guy who makes at least a little effort to take care of himself physically and look presentable is going to encounter at least a few women who find him physically good-looking. - Ability to ENGAGE others in an easy, free-flowing way...to flirt, banter, tease, to be fun and playful. Charisma. In other words, being CHARMING. There are LOTS of guys who are nice and respectful...AND also darn good and fun with the banter and charm. Body language also plays a role here. Social skills are important with one's bantering ability, but the real key is that such guys genuinely enjoy and like interacting with others and learning about them. For them, being engaging is almost effortless. - Able to get outside of his head, get out of his own way, and live a little. Not overthinking and second-guessing every itty bitty thing. Spontaneity. - Not trying too hard - Not getting too invested too quickly. Lightening up, not having unrealistic expectations. (Side-note: I think that not caring too much, particularly about petty or silly minor things, is a MAJOR component of a person's overall happiness in life.) There are plenty of "average Joes" who meet all of the above. Most of the above also holds true for women whom many men find attractive. Especially good-looking women. Most of the above are things that can be learned or achieved. However, a couple of them are probably innate and tied to a person's core personality...you either got it or you don't. I think most guys who have had plenty of varied life experiences and exposure to different social situations while growing up as a kid and a young adult are far more likely to have a passing grade in a lot of the bulletpoints above once they reach their early-mid 20s. Past positive experiences and successes help build confidence and courage to want to try and explore new things in the future. Furthermore, being raised in an environment that's not sheltered, that teaches him not to be too hard on himself when something goes awry, and is conducive to positive/fun encouragement and building self-esteem also helps. That leads to the guy being comfortable just being himself, willing to go after what he wants, and being a fairly well-rounded person.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Many (but not all) bars and clubs tend to attract a clientele that likes the party atmosphere. People are unwinding at such venues after a day or week of work...they just want to let it hang loose, have a good time and not take things too seriously. Flirting, banter, dancing, karaoke, beer pong, etc is all part of the fun...that goes for both men and women. While not impossible, bars and clubs aren't the best place to meet women that you actually want to date seriously. Also OP...you just don't seem like the type of guy that's a good fit for the bar/club scene. It's pretty easy to tell when someone just seems a bit out-of-place at a bar, club or other nightlife venue. With that said, any guy who has the following is probably going to attract the interest of many women: - Confidence - Self-respect/self-worth. Having self-respect and valuing your own life goes a long way towards not being "easily attainable". - Presence. In other words, "owning the room", or having the "it" factor. Ideally in a non-jerky way. There are talkative guys, fairly quiet dudes, extroverts, introverts, etc who have strong presence. Plenty of them are kind people. Most others can intuitively sense the presence in those guys almost immediately. BTW...presence is not a must-have (not many people have it IMO), but it is a strong plus. - Sense of humor. Witty. - Interesting life and/or personality...i.e. the kind of person that others find curious and want to get to know better. Having a bit of an edge may be a plus, too. - Direction in life...a passion or two. - Decent looks (subjective to an extent). No need to try and look like a GQ model or NFL quarterback...but you probably shouldn't look like a slob. Pretty low threshold to cross. I darn near guarantee that any guy who makes at least a little effort to take care of himself physically and look presentable is going to encounter at least a few women who find him physically good-looking. - Ability to ENGAGE others in an easy, free-flowing way...to flirt, banter, tease, to be fun and playful. Charisma. In other words, being CHARMING. There are LOTS of guys who are nice and respectful...AND also darn good and fun with the banter and charm. Body language also plays a role here. Social skills are important with one's bantering ability, but the real key is that such guys genuinely enjoy and like interacting with others and learning about them. For them, being engaging is almost effortless. - Able to get outside of his head, get out of his own way, and live a little. Not overthinking and second-guessing every itty bitty thing. Spontaneity. - Not trying too hard - Not getting too invested too quickly. Lightening up, not having unrealistic expectations. (Side-note: I think that not caring too much, particularly about petty or silly minor things, is a MAJOR component of a person's overall happiness in life.) There are plenty of "average Joes" who meet all of the above. Most of the above also holds true for women whom many men find attractive. Especially good-looking women. Most of the above are things that can be learned or achieved. However, a couple of them are probably innate and tied to a person's core personality...you either got it or you don't. I think most guys who have had plenty of varied life experiences and exposure to different social situations while growing up as a kid and a young adult are far more likely to have a passing grade in a lot of the bulletpoints above once they reach their early-mid 20s. Past positive experiences and successes help build confidence and courage to want to try and explore new things in the future. Furthermore, being raised in an environment that's not sheltered, that teaches him not to be too hard on himself when something goes awry, and is conducive to positive/fun encouragement and building self-esteem also helps. That leads to the guy being comfortable just being himself, willing to go after what he wants, and being a fairly well-rounded person. Yup, and that as a Man you should never feel too old for this
Recommended Posts