Yay -ended it

[mike0441]

FINALLY had the PLEASURE of ending a 3 yr. b.s relationship .

girl called me on Wends night asking what i had planned for New Years Eve .

i told her straight out ''nothing that would concern or involve you '' .

see our ''relationship'' [ i use the term lightly ]she never seemed to involve me , or make time for me [ for 2 of the 3 yrs we were together] . so just hung out at home Wends ,Thurs stopped by a neighbors hung out a bit [ was home and in bed before midnight ] .had my phone number changed today ,deleted the facebook page , deleted the twitter account .she's driven by here some BUT i live in a security building she can't get in ..she called some of out mutual friends seeming extremely distraught [ their words not mine ] i told the guy friends maybe she needs a shoulder to cry on go comfort her .

UNLESS you totally break up and break free from someone you don't want to be with you'll never feel relived -it was INSTANT once i hung up the phone it felt like a weight cut from my body .i'm an auto mechanic at a pretty busy shop , and have already informed our 2 secretaries and other employees not to relay messages to me from her , no calls ,no visits . sure they've asked ''why , what happened , you guys were soo cute together '' i just simply said ''just didn't work out with us , we're 2 totally different people'' and they didn't hit me with a bunch of follow up questions .

 

feeling AMAZING

[Sar112]

That's great that you're feeling so happy about you're decision - it sounds as though she's pretty upset though so perhaps spare a thought for her even if she wasn't the best girlfriend whilst you were together.

 

I do think it's kinder that you have completely cut contact with her at this stage though so good on you for doing that.

 

I think a lot of people on here could probably empathise with your ex from just reading what you've written - there might be more to it, but from that alone, to me at least - it sounds like a bit of a dick move that you played.

 

Good luck - hope that you both grow come through this ok and end up happier and wiser as a result.

[justanotherguy1]

Ha ha ha ha.. cudos bro.. I remember your previous post. its great now you can put your attention to yourself and a woman whos actually worth it.

 

I know the feeling. I was in a platonic 3 year relationship, girl didnt even make any time for me whatsoever. not even a day off or weekend to spend time with me. we never even had sex lol. i am dissapointed who i let myself be treated like that but hey, atleast im out of it.

 

congrats man

[justanotherguy1]

That's great that you're feeling so happy about you're decision - it sounds as though she's pretty upset though so perhaps spare a thought for her even if she wasn't the best girlfriend whilst you were together.

 

I do think it's kinder that you have completely cut contact with her at this stage though so good on you for doing that.

 

I think a lot of people on here could probably empathise with your ex from just reading what you've written - there might be more to it, but from that alone, to me at least - it sounds like a bit of a dick move that you played.

 

Good luck - hope that you both grow come through this ok and end up happier and wiser as a result.

 

dick move?? its the best damn move of his life.. you need to read his previous thread my friend. you really do.

[Sar112]

I'd be happy to if someone links me Personally, I think feeling 'amazing' about anyone else's unhappiness is a bit low.

[D.r.e]

I'd be happy to if someone links me Personally, I think feeling 'amazing' about anyone else's unhappiness is a bit low.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/563801-serious-question#post6712681

 

Obviously, there are two sides to the story, but this should explain his relief.

[justanotherguy1]

No one should feel amazing for someone elses discomfort. but the guy really tried, he went the full way and she never met him. not even take a step towards him. he deserves alot better and he will get it.

[mike0441]

i didn't do a ''dick move'' [ least i don't see it that way ] i've told her many times if the relationship doesn't start taking steps towards getting better it's going to end .even suggested WE go and talk to someone together and get that out-sider third opinion and recommendations to fix something that was broken [ i never told her she should just seek counseling ] takes 2 to have a relationship .

we've done the usual things people do when things get rough .not talk for a while ,not see each other for days . BUT always she'd end up telling me [ if she was in the wrong ] she understands why i'm up-set ,she wouldn't like whatever was done , or said done to her . and it goes good for usually a few days then BAM it happens again . theirs only so much talking you can do about the same situations .and keep hearing sorry ,i'll try , take your feelings into consideration etc .put the words into actions [ actions speak louder than words] .

WITH all the ''cut-offs'' i did ,i'm not leaving myself vulnerable to fall for her lines and see the sad face .i'm not happy that she's feeling miserable or whatever , i'm happy i took a stand and said enough is enough .

it's over , done , fineto theirs not a single reason we need to converse .she's the past and that's where i'm keeping her . MAYBE she'll actually think now and soul search [ or whatever] and understand why i did what i did AND learn from it for her next relationship .i've messed up also along the way and learn t some things -if you learn from your mistakes it's a good thing .i'm not even looking to start dating , or playing the field just gonna put my energy into my own stuff .

a bad relationship can cause stress - stress is a silent killer [ they say ]

[Sar112]

That makes a lot more sense now - it's great you managed to stand up for yourself - everyone deserves to be valued and it sounds like she just didn't give you the love and respect you deserved. I have found myself in a similar situation and was never brave enough to do too much about it.

 

As you say, lets hope she learns from this and doesn't take anyone for granted again. It sounds like you gave her enough chances, especially if you suggested seeing someone together. If she wasn't willing to help herself then I suppose in a way she deserves all she gets.

 

That's great you're just going to focus on yourself for a while too - people rush into things all too often, so well done for making that decision

[mike0441]

i think after a break - up both parties should chill out a while before going back into the ''dating world'' just do things for themselves that make them feel good ,you got to feel good about yourself before you can clearly date .

if you're ever in a relationship and feel it's going nowhere , you're not getting the love and respect etc . soon as you notice talk to your partner if they care they'll listen and attempt to change whatever it is .trust me don't do like me and soo many others have done and just wait or ignore the signs or actions

longer you wait the more time ,emotions are invested and that's what hurts never feel like you've wasted your time .give it a shot ,try to fix it if your partner isn't willing and finds nothing wrong with their actions and you do you can talk until your blue in the face they wont change , just walk away and unless theirs children involved theirs really no need to keep communicating it'll just turn into arguments -you'll feel like you're still with the person