delineum Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 A friend I've been sort-of dating off and on texted me the night before NYE a joke, I didn't see it til next morning, I joked back, she asked a few hours later if I was working NYE day, I said just "Yah" instead of "Yah, til x time" because I wasn't sure when I was getting off, but did text that later that afternoon, asked her what she was up to, never got a reply. I didn't follow up because we'd just started hanging out again and I didn't want to sound pushy. I haven't talked to her yet, my NYE wasn't great, I thought we'd have a good time but I wonder if my simple "Yah" was too non-committal, like "Yup, just another normal day". I feel awkward now, if she asks me how my NYE was I might say "I don't know, that might be my business since you didn't want to talk to me that day". Was my simple "Yah" too simple? Would it be rude to say I don't want to say because she didn't reply to me? There's definitely been interest there but I've not been sure how to approach it because she's a little skittish too with relationships and we've both been good friends, but I feel a little hurt.
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Jeesh.... Are you over-thinking this, or what? Here's an idea..... DON'T text anything. Dial the number and - *gasp!* Talk to her!! I know, a bit rad, but hey - what are vocal chords for?! 1
czen Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Was my simple "Yah" too simple? No, nothing wrong with it, although one could interpret it as not being interested in talking. But don't overanalyze it, it happened, it's in the past now. it be rude to say I don't want to say because she didn't reply to me? There's definitely been interest there but I've not been sure how to approach it because she's a little skittish too with relationships and we've both been good friends, but I feel a little hurt. No, if that's how you feel, go for it. I mean, I would think you're a bit insecure and need to grow a thicker skin though, since sometimes it happens that people do no reply, but if that's how you feel... But if it was me, I would just not care about it and live your life the best you can be, and don't show behavior like that. Complaining makes you seem like someone who gets offended way too easily.
Xiomn Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 You should've texted her this OP: "Happy New Year! I hope your hangover isn't as bad as mine right now haha" 1
LoveRefreshed Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 A few possibilities I think. One, she could be offended and upset about it. I wouldn't have ignored you, that's childish. Secondly, she might be really terrible at conversation then wasn't sure what to do. Your reply could have been a bit more conversation building. Like 'yea, but not all night so I can give you your kiss! ' or something more suited to you two. Finally, the third possibility is she had something she would rather do that day and escaped on the first excuse. What would her motivations be? Rather be with some gfs but didn't want to bother you. Got sick? Some embarrassing reason? Another date? Is she multi dating? Maybe you got bumped to 2nd place. Best bet is to communicate with her. Call her and ask her how she is and how her nye was!
Xiomn Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) In reference to my previous post because I can't edit. - Texting happy new year is like an obligatory I have to reply to this text returning the gesture at the very least - It also makes it look like you have other things going on besides her and that you're a happy guy enjoying yourself with mates i.e. makes you look desirable. (even if it was rubbish) -Also by saying I hope your hangover isn't as bad as mine leads her into telling you about how her night was and again reinforces that you had a good night. But don't worry about it OP, she might have been out with mates around this time and if she doesn't reply just go no contact for a few days and try hit her up again later so as to not come across as too pushy. Edited January 1, 2016 by Xiomn
xcupid Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 ... if she asks me how my NYE was I might say "I don't know, that might be my business since you didn't want to talk to me that day". What are you thinking, dude? If you say that you can kiss any start to a relationship goodbye, IMO. That would be a childish response. Instead, stay positive and say it was okay but would have been fun if the two of you had hung out together. 1
almond Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Most people are way too busy to reply to a "what are you up to?" text on NYE. She messaged earlier in the day, then was doing her thing later on. If you're hurt about something so silly, then I would say that you're far from ready for a relationship. Being clingy and overly-sensitive isn't very attractive to most women. I feel awkward now, if she asks me how my NYE was I might say "I don't know, that might be my business since you didn't want to talk to me that day". That kind of immature and whiney response will send most normal girls running for the hills. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 What are you thinking, dude? If you say that you can kiss any start to a relationship goodbye, IMO. That would be a childish response. Instead, stay positive and say it was okay but would have been fun if the two of you had hung out together. Agreed. OP, if you text back with that butt-hurt response you were planing, it will backfire. It's passive-aggressive and unnecessary. It's possible she got caught up in her NYE plans and it slipped her mind. It happens. Call her if you want to talk to her. 1
Wewon Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Jeesh.... Are you over-thinking this, or what? Here's an idea..... DON'T text anything. Dial the number and - *gasp!* Talk to her!! I know, a bit rad, but hey - what are vocal chords for?! I agree on all points. I've noticed that a lot of the threads seems to have a lot over thinking, second guessing, worrying in them. Part of it my be an experience thing, but I also suspect that this is a dating culture where everyone feels like they're auditioning for American Idol and can be nexted at the drop of a hat.
shyguy3543 Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 I just would've thought she forgot to text me back or something. No biggie! 1
Versacehottie Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 What are you thinking, dude? If you say that you can kiss any start to a relationship goodbye, IMO. That would be a childish response. Instead, stay positive and say it was okay but would have been fun if the two of you had hung out together. Yes OMG don't say that!! Embarrassing. Unstable. Emo. Sorry. Reality Check.
thecrucible Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Please don't read too much into this. It was NYE so she was likely very busy and away from her phone. She might not have found time to reply and then felt like the moment had passed. You also didn't give much to reply to. Just reach later when you have something to talk about but please don't send that passive aggressive text. If it was me that would put me right off as it implies that I don't care at all simply because reply to one text. What if the situation was turned round and a girl sent you that text? You say that you are "on and off"? What do you mean by this? Maybe because everything is a little uncertain, this sort of thing can get to you. I can certainly understand how you feel.
Author delineum Posted January 2, 2016 Author Posted January 2, 2016 Thanks for the posts; I'm trying to avoid the negative and critical ones. I think she took my reply to be non-interested and went with someone else. Oh well. I was skittish but later thought I should have asked her out.
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