RachyB Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Hey guys. Tomorrow my boyfriend is leaving for a two week trip to Japan on his own (whilst I will be stuck in Australia working) and I just want to express my feelings on this matter. We have only very recently started dating and this has been part of his plan for a long time (he recently received money from a mortgage he had with his ex wife) and he actually did ask me to go but I am a student and too poor. Aside from that, I feel like as much as I am going to miss him, it is something he should do on his terms, you know, enjoy his snowboarding which I am not extremely into etc. I kind of feel like if he goes away and has his fun and comes back to me it will make the relationship even stronger. He is such a wonderful kind, caring man, but I just feel so down about it! I am genuinely happy for him and of course I would never express these thoughts to him but a small part of me is jealous because he will be there having the time of his life and I will be here living the same routine. Is this normal? I trust him wholeheartedly but a small part of my mind kind of wanders and thinks "oh maybe he thinks I am really boring because I couldn't afford to go and craves a more exciting woman." I know these are MY issues, but I can't say any of this to him because he honestly deserves this break so much and has such a kind soul and I am just all over the place with emotion sometimes! I am a cancerian ok? What are people's experiences of this? How do you cope? He is going to South America with his dad for a few weeks in April so I will have to go through this all again! Argh. How do I get through these two weeks without moping the whole time?? Happy New Year. My goal is to be a more stable and secure person emotionally.
Qboro90 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Realize that as much as you think this will be the longest two weeks of your life and he will be having the time of his life.... That the truth is.. The entire thing will be over and done with before you know it. The bigger a deal you make it, especially if you over analyze his communication or lack there of during his trip, the longer it will appear to be. If you just tell yourself that you're with a great guy, who is trustworthy and is going because it's been planned for a long time, a guy who did the right thing in inviting you despite not having been dating you for that long, then you will actually come out of this with a stronger relationship. I remember the first boys trip I went on early in dating my gf(current fiancé), she was so cool about it and encouraging. Didnt break my balls about calling or texting her daily. She knew that I wasn't going to do anything stupid and the fact that she wasn't on my case before I went, while I was there, or when I got back, actually made me so much more attracted to her because it showed me that she is independent and fine in her own feelings about our relationship and doesn't let the social stereotypes get in her head while I'm away. The fact that she didn't over contact me while away made me wanna text or call to check in and say hi even more. If she was all over me trying to get in touch with me I'm sure I would've ignored her eventually. Realize that it's ok to be jealous in wanting to go away with your BF and to someplace you've never been. But it can be a positive in the way he sees you depending on how you handle it. Also, some people get annoyed when someone gets back from a vacation and wants to talk about it and share what they did. Don't be that person. Ask him how it was, details, let me see pictures, as opposed to "ugh ok enough already, you had the best time ever , I get it". That won't go over well. Be a good gf and show interest. Main thing tho is to know that it'll be over before u know it. It can set the stage for your relationship because he might come back and tell you "as great as it was, I really wish you could've been with me , that would've made it even better". You'll have your own vacations to go on soon enough. And by being cool and supportive about his trips, you're also making it possible for you to go on girls trips or things you want to do without him in the future without questioning if he'll be cool with it. 1
Els Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 How do I get through these two weeks without moping the whole time?? I am a little bit concerned about this. Don't you have anything fun that you enjoy doing in your life that don't necessarily involve him? I mean, don't get me wrong, I think missing your partner and feeling a bit lonely and left out with them gone on holiday is normal. But moping the whole time? No, no, no. You need to find some things that you enjoy doing without him, if you want the R to be able to last (and I'm not just talking about these two weeks). Honestly, two weeks will fly by without you realizing it. Chill out. 2
lana-banana Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 I applaud your goal for the new year, because you are much too distraught over two weeks without someone you just started dating. To answer your question I don't think it's normal or healthy to be so torn up about it. Live your life. Enjoy your hobbies. Focus on saving money so you'll be able to afford a trip in April or some other nice things. 2
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 day 1: do something fun, different and time-consuming and enjoy it to the hilt. day 2 - 14: repeat at leisure. Depending on the presence of somebody else to bring you contentment and fulfilment, is dangerous territory. Be independent. Be yourself. be your own person. And just think of all the amazing things you'll have to talk about on his return, instead of him telling you about his vacation, and you saying, "Oh, I just sat by the window and pined for you, enveloped and submerged in my own fog of uncertain and insecure misery!" *Deep sigh*..... You've only 'recently started dating' too. If you still want to have him around by the time he goes to Africa in April - ditch the clingy part.... 2
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