Wakingup85 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Hi all, Just a quick opinion needed please. Basically met a girl...she likes me, I like her (told each other this) but she's not ready for a relationship, and needs time to herself (not long out of a long relationship)- I believe her and that's fine. I'm not going to wait around as such, but if she's ready and I'm still free at that point then we can see. Question is - What level of contact do you think is appropriate? She's pretty rubbish at messages anyway, I can go days without a reply - but I also want to make sure I stay in her head in some way...I'm thinking at the moment maybe just a message every few days, or should it be 1 a day? Just after opinions really :-) Thanks
Gaeta Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Hi all, Just a quick opinion needed please. Basically met a girl...she likes me, I like her (told each other this) but she's not ready for a relationship, and needs time to herself (not long out of a long relationship)- I believe her and that's fine. I'm not going to wait around as such, but if she's ready and I'm still free at that point then we can see. Question is - What level of contact do you think is appropriate? She's pretty rubbish at messages anyway, I can go days without a reply - but I also want to make sure I stay in her head in some way...I'm thinking at the moment maybe just a message every few days, or should it be 1 a day? Just after opinions really :-) Thanks If it takes her days to reply to a simple text from you than her interest in keeping you in her circle is pretty low. What's the use of texting each day if she replies once a week? That would make you appear too available and by the same lower your value in her eyes. Follow her lead. If she replies in days than text in days. Mimic her. You send a text today, she replies in 2 days, then wait 2 days to get back to her on that reply. I hope you know you are wasting your time, right.
GR4 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 If it takes her days to reply to a simple text from you than her interest in keeping you in her circle is pretty low. What's the use of texting each day if she replies once a week? That would make you appear too available and by the same lower your value in her eyes. Follow her lead. If she replies in days than text in days. Mimic her. You send a text today, she replies in 2 days, then wait 2 days to get back to her on that reply. I hope you know you are wasting your time, right. Maybe she's just not glued to her phone? The girl I went out with recently is very slow at replying, as in often takes days. Our date went great though, loads of kissing, laughter and we had a great time. I'd say her actions show she is interested but according to you because she doesn't need daily contact she isn't in to me?
Xiomn Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) Don't text two times in a row. If she messages you, don't reply instantly. As another poster stated, try and mimic her reply times, if not make them just a tiny bit longer. So if she replies within 1 hour, you take a little bit over that and so on. I've been texting two girls and this girl texts me within the first 5-20 minutes so usually I wait 30mins-1 hour to reply. This other girl takes maybe 1.30-3 hours to reply so I also take 1.30-3 hours to reply. Edited January 1, 2016 by Xiomn
Gaeta Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Maybe she's just not glued to her phone? The girl I went out with recently is very slow at replying, as in often takes days. Our date went great though, loads of kissing, laughter and we had a great time. I'd say her actions show she is interested but according to you because she doesn't need daily contact she isn't in to me? I beleive she is not interested because she said this to OP but she's not ready for a relationship, and needs time to herself and combined with her taking days to reply to his text. In this day and age people are hooked to their phones. I can assure you she is texting her friends and checking that phone. The people that don't check their phone AT ALL for DAYS are extremely rare. Especially now that people do not have land lines anymore and our mobiles have become our only mean of contact with out side world! So no, I don't bite when people say they are too busy to see their text for days. I have family, a daughter, a boss that text me, I cannot NOT look at my phone for days, they would send a search team if I didn't reply in 24 hours.
Xiomn Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 I beleive she is not interested because she said this to OP but she's not ready for a relationship, and needs time to herself Yep, that's a shot to the heart killer line. I'm afraid she's not interested. It's quite plausible she is just not ready for a relationship with you specifically as opposed to not ready for a relationship at all. She could just not be ready though having as you stated got out of a relationship recently. I still find it funny the last girl i dated told me "I don't think i'll ever be ready for a relationship" You can smell the BS from that line a mile away purely because she said "ever". lol 2
Author Wakingup85 Posted January 1, 2016 Author Posted January 1, 2016 Then why say she likes me at all? Suppose I'm not used to people being that cruel...I prefer to be honest ha ha....there's a novelty!
GR4 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 I beleive she is not interested because she said this to OP but she's not ready for a relationship, and needs time to herself and combined with her taking days to reply to his text. In this day and age people are hooked to their phones. I can assure you she is texting her friends and checking that phone. The people that don't check their phone AT ALL for DAYS are extremely rare. Especially now that people do not have land lines anymore and our mobiles have become our only mean of contact with out side world! So no, I don't bite when people say they are too busy to see their text for days. I have family, a daughter, a boss that text me, I cannot NOT look at my phone for days, they would send a search team if I didn't reply in 24 hours. You make a good point. Could it be game playing then? All the advice out there is telling people to play it cool and leave people hanging for a while to build attraction or mystery. I think it's a stupid way to do things personally but if everyone is doing it what are you meant to do?
Xiomn Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) Then why say she likes me at all? Suppose I'm not used to people being that cruel...I prefer to be honest ha ha....there's a novelty! She's putting you down lightly mate, she isn't going to come out and state I don't like you because that would just be harsh. It's much easier to just say "you're a nice guy and all but i'm not ready for a relationship right now" You make a good point. Could it be game playing then? All the advice out there is telling people to play it cool and leave people hanging for a while to build attraction or mystery. I think it's a stupid way to do things personally but if everyone is doing it what are you meant to do? People who say this aren't gameplaying, they're putting you down lightly without trying to intentionally brutally damage your ego. Edited January 1, 2016 by Xiomn 1
Author Wakingup85 Posted January 1, 2016 Author Posted January 1, 2016 To be honest I think I do know shes playing a game. ..just stupidly believed her when she said she liked me!! Oh well...beer is my friend ha ha
Gaeta Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Then why say she likes me at all? Suppose I'm not used to people being that cruel...I prefer to be honest ha ha....there's a novelty! Like the others have said she is letting you down nicely. She is flattered by your interest, she recognizes you are a nice man BUT...(insert what ever excuse).
TheTraveler Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 There is another guy in the picture most likely. Sit back and wait for her to text you.
Author Wakingup85 Posted January 1, 2016 Author Posted January 1, 2016 I was kind of waiting for that one....suddenly she's ready as another guy is on the scene ha ha
MzLady Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Then why say she likes me at all? Suppose I'm not used to people being that cruel...I prefer to be honest ha ha....there's a novelty! She probably likes you as a friend or just didn't want to hurt your feelings. She said she's not ready and she takes days to reply to your texts.. I think she's just trying to be nice.. I think it's best you move on and don't contact her at all. I've been in her shoes, and it's tough when the guy is a nice guy, but you're just not interested in him like that. Best of luck to you
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