Hopeful30 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 A fellow LS user mentions red flags only days after a relationship "starts", and already I dont understand the question. When does a relationship "start"? A friendship? At first encounter? After a conversation? After first hang out? Even reflecting on my own experience gives me no information. I wasn't in a relationship...and then one day I was. But when does anything 'start'?
oberkeat Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 A fellow LS user mentions red flags only days after a relationship "starts", and already I dont understand the question. When does a relationship "start"? A friendship? At first encounter? After a conversation? After first hang out? Even reflecting on my own experience gives me no information. I wasn't in a relationship...and then one day I was. But when does anything 'start'? Good question. I have no idea. That line is more blurred than ever, with f*ck buddies, fwb's, polyamory and what not. You can be having regular sex with a person and still neither party will call it a "relationship".
alphamale Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 a "relationship" starts when you and the other party agree that you're in a relationship 4
Xiomn Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 a "relationship" starts when you and the other party agree that you're in a relationship This. No more needs to be said.
Ami1uwant Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Relationship is when you agree you are in a relationship and be bf/gf.
Gaeta Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Do you mean an official relationship or just relationship? At the moment you interact regularly with someone you are in a type of relationship. It could be a casual relationship, close relationship, on and off relationship, distant relationship, etc. I have relationships with my friends, co-workers, family, neighbors, and I have a 'relationship' with my real estate agent as her and I interact about once a week. So what kind of relationship are you talking about? 2
nicco Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 a "relationship" starts when you and the other party agree that you're in a relationship +1 Couldn't have said it better myself.
alphamale Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 This. No more needs to be said. +1 Couldn't have said it better myself. thanks
Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) Relationship as opposed to just dating? I think what many people call a relationship, even if they called each other bf/gf and are exclusive, is actually just dating. Dating exclusively, but still just dating nonetheless and no more. Dating is the discovery phase to see if you have enough going to commit long term. If you're seeing someone regularly and exclusively for several months or more, you're still just dating. Either party can walk away at any moment as you have not made any long term commitments to each other. Once you've made some solid commitment, such as living together, buying property together, engagement, children together, you're in a relationship as you have made a commitment to each other which is more than just seeing this one person regularly. until then, you're just dating and you havent agreed to be anything more than just seeing each other regularly. just call it dating. Edited January 1, 2016 by Amelie1980
soph-walker Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Once you've made some solid commitment, such as living together, buying property together, engagement, children together, you're in a relationship as you have made a commitment to each other which is more than just seeing this one person regularly. until then, you're just dating and you havent agreed to be anything more than just seeing each other regularly. just call it dating. I disagree; I think if you have both emotionally invested in one another and have discussed that you want to be with each other, this is classed as a relationship. A solid commitment can also be an emotional and spiritual one too, not always a financial or reproductive aspect.
Amelie1980 Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) I disagree; I think if you have both emotionally invested in one another and have discussed that you want to be with each other, this is classed as a relationship. A solid commitment can also be an emotional and spiritual one too, not always a financial or reproductive aspect. But that is just words...until they step up and actually DO something to commit to you. Not financial or reproductive but physically with you. Talk is cheap..... I want to be with you...so DO it then or have a plan or time line for this to happen. No? Then you're just dating. One of my exes was buying a house. After he bought the house, said it was an investment for our future, allowed me to make choices about the interior decoration, I met his parents, his whole family, his friends told me he loved me and how lovely we were together. Where did he go? Oh yes, he cheated long after that and dumped me for her. The house that he said was an investment for our future is now for their future together. It was just words. He was just DATING ME! Until he did it and physically moved me in to his home, it was just dating. Had he moved me in with him... that is when i should have called it a real relationship and not before. I didnt see it that way at time and I said at the time we were in a relationship...but looking back on it, it was just dating. Until we made a proper commitment, we were dating and so is everyone else. If you're just seeing each other, no plans to move in, engage, etc, you're just dating. Even if you're emotionally invested, you can still walk away with no notice or hassle. Edited January 2, 2016 by Amelie1980
soph-walker Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 But that is just words...until they step up and actually DO something to commit to you. Talk is cheap..... I want to be with you...so DO it then or have a plan or time line for this to happen. No? Then you're just dating. One of my exes was buying a house. After he bought the house, said it was an investment for our future, allowed me to make choices about the interior decoration, I met his parents, his whole family, his friends told me he loved me and how lovely we were together. Where did he go? Oh yes, he cheated long after that and dumped me for her. The house that he said was an investment for our future is now for their future together. It was just words. He was just DATING ME! Until he did it and physically moved me in to his home, it was just dating. Had he moved me in with him... that is when i should have called it a real relationship and not before. I didnt see it that way at time and I said at the time we were in a relationship...but looking back on it, it was just dating. Until we made a proper commitment, we were dating and so is everyone else. If you're just seeing each other, no plans to move in, engage, etc, you're just dating. Even if you're emotionally invested, you can still walk away with no notice or hassle. Completely disagree. I think you're applying your experience to what most people call a relationship. I can see where you're coming from though, but I do think you're missing out on the deep, supportive connection that two people are able to achieve. Before my ex and I moved in together, we both shared our inner most thoughts with one another and had a truly deep bond both physically and emotionally (and mentally I guess?!) and what you seem to be alluding to is that until I moved in with him, that we didn't have a 'relationship'.
soph-walker Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 But that is just words...until they step up and actually DO something to commit to you. Not financial or reproductive but physically with you. Talk is cheap..... I want to be with you...so DO it then or have a plan or time line for this to happen. No? Then you're just dating. One of my exes was buying a house. After he bought the house, said it was an investment for our future, allowed me to make choices about the interior decoration, I met his parents, his whole family, his friends told me he loved me and how lovely we were together. Where did he go? Oh yes, he cheated long after that and dumped me for her. The house that he said was an investment for our future is now for their future together. It was just words. He was just DATING ME! Until he did it and physically moved me in to his home, it was just dating. Had he moved me in with him... that is when i should have called it a real relationship and not before. I didnt see it that way at time and I said at the time we were in a relationship...but looking back on it, it was just dating. Until we made a proper commitment, we were dating and so is everyone else. If you're just seeing each other, no plans to move in, engage, etc, you're just dating. Even if you're emotionally invested, you can still walk away with no notice or hassle. And furthermore, stages of a relationship such as buying a house together, having children, getting engaged (no particular order there!) are only achieved once your relationship is stable enough to move onto those things, if that is what you both want.
Amelie1980 Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Completely disagree. I think you're applying your experience to what most people call a relationship. I can see where you're coming from though, but I do think you're missing out on the deep, supportive connection that two people are able to achieve. Before my ex and I moved in together, we both shared our inner most thoughts with one another and had a truly deep bond both physically and emotionally (and mentally I guess?!) and what you seem to be alluding to is that until I moved in with him, that we didn't have a 'relationship'. So did my ex and I....for a very long time. We had a very loving deep supportive connection. With no more commitment than that....not much there.
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