Mobi Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Hi, I'm new to this...so yah, I'm frustrated this New Year's Eve. My ex and I broke up two months ago and I have the kids. He knows that his kids are sick and can't do anything special for NYE. Yet, he had to go and tell his kids that he's going out to a party! Now, I'm stuck dealing with sick and unhappy kids who know that their dad, who they are missing, is having fun without them. I tried to get my ex to console his children, but the damage is done. They are not doing good emotionally because of the separation, now I have to deal with more problems before the new year. Any advice on how to deal with kids and separation.
NopeNah Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Do not bad mouth your ex to your children,as they will make their own mental picture of him(I did it towards my dad). I also told my ex wife many years ago that our daughter would see who/how she was on her own when the time came. The latter has happened in the past 5yrs(19yr old) and sorry to say,my kid hates her mother(I raised her without an ill word towards the ex). Kids are smart and pick up on things.
Captivating Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) Hi, Try to be the "ROCK" for the kids Distract them and always spin things to the positive side. This attitude of yours will be contagious and will be a great life long lesson for them. Maybe keep them busy and distracted. Lots of love and attention. Are they little? Read for them every night while cuddling with them. Every once in a while ask them to tell you a story that they come up with. These moments of bonding will be emotionally healthy for them. Some structure in their lives is something that they can count on happening. It's emotional security. We always read with Mom every night, we eat home cooked food at 7 every night together at the table etc. I know this sounds silly but it is important. They need to know that both you and their Dad love them very much. Also, mutual respect with your ex husband would be crucial for the kids. Talk about each other with respect. I know it's hard. Kids are very resilient, things will slowly get better. Happy new years ! Edited January 1, 2016 by Captivating
Author Mobi Posted January 1, 2016 Author Posted January 1, 2016 Hi, and thank-you for responding. I'm trying hard to never bash the father around the kids. I let my kids know it's okay to love both parents. It's just really hard being nice to my kids about him day in and day out, dealing with all the crap, and then he pulls a move like this. Just makes showing "respect" towards him harder for me.
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