CallMeJack Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Okay so a little bit about the relationship. I was with her for just over 3 years, we was friends before that (for about 6 months) and she split up with me in April, she went into a relationship with someone else a few months after that. I have moved on and I am happy, I've had a few dates but nothing has ever come out of them, and I'm honestly in no rush. ______ The other week my Ex decided to message me and ask where I am because I'd put a picture up on snapchat of this really nice scenery (I was on vacation) so we spoke a little about where I am and things in general. *At this point, she is still in a relationship* A few days ago she messages me again, we make idle conversations and talk about nothing in particularly important. As I was scrolling through instagram, I noticed she'd put up a picture of a quotes about relationships, being sad etc. I asked her are you okay? and I'm always here if you need to talk about anything. She goes onto tell me that her boyfriend has split up with her and all she feels like doing is crying, etc. She then apologises to me and says "To top it all of, I know this is how I made you feel and, im so sorry" I just give her some a bit of advice and all the usual clique "Times a great healer" (you get the point). Anyway, for the last 2 days we've had quite a few conversations, reminiscing the past, talking about future plans we both have (career wise), having a laugh, etc. Yesterday, it did quite flirty (on her part) she told me about how she really likes having sex now (When we was together she had some problem with hormones or something? And she's had medication to sort it now). I have a joke with her about it and then she goes onto tell me how she slept with another man whilst her boyfriend split up with her a few months ago and how he is much older than her. She asked me if I'd slept with anyone since the break-up as well. Also, when I was bored last night and told her to "entertain me" meaning just take this boredom away, she then sends me a snapchat of her breasts (she was clothed) she then text back and said "did that help" But in between flirting and talking about sex, she'd suddenly go cold on me and just give me on word answers or ignoring me??? I'm getting really mixed signals here. ---TODAY--- After talking for the past week or so, and constantly for all of yesterday she hasn't said a word to me today (I haven't spoken to her either). She was always one that would want a text first, she rarely used to talk first (which is why I was surprised the first time around a few weeks ago when she made contact with me!!) But seeing as she's ALWAYS been the one to instigate it I thought she'd speak today...? I'm so confused, one minute she's being overly friendly, the next she's giving one word answers and then out of no where she's being flirty and talking about sex. I start to think maybe we have a chance of rekindling a FRIENDSHIP and then all of a sudden, she gives off the impression that I'm annoying her? How does this sound to you all? Is she just being nice? Is she looking for FWB? or is she just bored and wants a chat? Because I have no clue... Just to be clear, I do NOT want a relationship with her, we was great friends previously so I'd love to get that back, but as for a relationship... No chance. Thanks! Edited December 31, 2015 by CallMeJack
Tabby32 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 She is feeling down and her ego has been bruised by the break up. She suddenly has more time on her hands and is in need of some validation and a bit of male attention. A lot of girls feel bad about themselves after a break up and rejected. She needs to know that she is still attractive to the opposite sex and likeable. You are the obvious person to go to for this as she knows you well and feels comfortable with you. At the same time she is probably telling herself not to always reply to you straight away because she might not want to get too involved or appear needy. You say you are not looking for a relationship which is a good thing because she is not over this other guy so it could only be a rebound thing. I would say enjoy flirting with her if you want, but keep the lines clear to save her feelings getting hurt if she develops feelings for you in the future. You can continue to flirt but say things like I'm so glad that we're friends and mention other women you date etc. Hope that helps. 1
introverted1 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 She's using you for an easy ego boost since her bf dumped her. She occasionally gets into a deeper funk about her bf's rejection and those are the times when she is colder to you. Basically, she has no real interest in you; she's just using you for her benefit. 2
Ryan_XD Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Seems strange imo. I would say she's looking for an ego boost after being dumped by her boyfriend, but from the sounds of it you aren't exactly complimenting her? or being ridiculously flirty back with her, so I'm not sure how she's getting an ego boost. Maybe she's wanting the same as you? Just to have a friend, she feels comfortable talking to you as you was together for such a long time? As for the sexual comments she's making, this could be a variety of things, she might see if it's making you jealous? she could be testing the water to see if you'll be interested in some sort of FWB with her? Or she just see's you as a friend and thinks she can talk about sex with guys with you like she would with one of her girlfriends. Keep us updated!
Author CallMeJack Posted January 2, 2016 Author Posted January 2, 2016 We've been speaking pretty much all day today, we were both still slightly drunk from new years eve so the conversation was flowing. A couple hours of silence, but their was once or twice when she made conversation and then others where she ignored me. She's now just talking with her boyfriend who split up with her (as I asked how things are) but then later on after that convo she's telling me about someone who she was getting off with at this new years eve party. She just seems all over the place at the minute if I'm honest, I'll definitely keep in touch as I obviously still care about her to make sure everythings okay for a while I guess.
Zippy2000 Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Unfortunately she was using you for a shoulder to cry on. You were her emotional crutch when her boyfriend split up. What are the bets her boyfriend has come back and she now doesn't need you anymore. Its not rocket science. You are not her boyfriend anymore but just a friend. Should of treated her nothing else but a friend.
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