HereNorThere Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Wow, I'm sorry, but "pretty nuts?" Yes, she's acted shady and something about this account doesn't exactly add up, but to jump to "b*tch be crazy" is over the line, I think. Listen, we don't KNOW the situation. We know what OP has told us, the details that OP has chosen to share. We don't know their entire 11-year history, and we certainly don't know the truth of what's going on inside this woman's uterus. As it was oh-so-condescendingly said to me yesterday on the Bill Cosby thread—innocent until proven guilty. Let's leave the histrionics out of it. If going behind your partner's back and getting pregnant through artificial insimination isn't nuts, I don't know what is. Whether she's telling the truth or lying, I personally wouldn't recommend committing to a relationship with someone like this. At the very, very, least you know she's willing to make life altering decisions without consulting her partner. We all have our own boundaries and this would certainly be past mine. YMMV. Just to add, I do think women have a right to do whatever they would like with their body. However, she violated him when she left him out of these life altering decisions that directly effect him. Try putting yourself in his shoes for a moment. Could you imagine living the next 9 months not knowing whether or not you have a child on the way? He literally has to put his life on on hold and wait for the outcome. That's rather sadistic and cruel of her to do him. She could have been ethical about this and she wasn't. I may have a bit of bias because I am a victim of a similar circumstance. Myself and nearly every one of my male friends have been lied to about pregnancy at least once in our life. I was lied to when I was around 20 and seriously contemplated suicide. To this day, I still remember thinking about how disappointed my parents were going to be me with me, not finishing school and all the other things a 20 year old would be scared of. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that my child my would have to grow up without a father. I eventually found out the girl was lying to me because she thought I was seeing someone else and thought the drama would solidify our relationship. She had planned to eventually fake a miscarriage. It's a very powerless, helpless, situation that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Sadly, it's also very, very common. After living with dozens of males in college, nearly every single one of them had at least of one fake pregnancy or paternity fraud pulled on them. Edited December 31, 2015 by HereNorThere
Popsicle Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 By all accounts, she's pretty nuts. She is. Popsicle
road Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 I find her story hard to swallow. What we do not know but assume her eggs were good. The OP's sperm was good. She had problems getting/being pregnant. Why? And if OP's sperm was good why was his sperm not used for AI? Makes me feel paternity fraud is being committed based on the skimpy facts presented. 1
kendahke Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 I feel sorry for the baby having to be born into all of this messiness. Poor child, didn't ask for any of this. 2
MidwestUSA Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 Agreed. I mean hell - I used to call to find out if he wanted anything in the supermarket or if a different kind of bread was OK when his usual wasn't available... A baby? Well that is a bit more serious than "they don't have granary so will five seeds do for now...?" Darn you! I have to be quiet at work. Kid's asleep. Five seeds, snort, snort! 1
Wewon Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 OP, I don't care what anyone says, you have a right to decide if you want to be a father or not. And that's ultimately the question here, choice, you have the right to one. When you hear the terms "ego" and "real man" being thrown around know that you are being manipulated. Everyone deserves to have a choice in such a major life decision whether it be AI, adoption or being a step dad. Fatherhood isn't a game of spin the bottle, you don't have to jump up and yell 'yipee' simply because you happen to be available. 2
Toodaloo Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 Darn you! I have to be quiet at work. Kid's asleep. Five seeds, snort, snort! Oh blimey! I should really start to read my posts back to myself before I hit submit!!! I hadn't thought of that!!!
Toodaloo Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 OP, I don't care what anyone says, you have a right to decide if you want to be a father or not. And that's ultimately the question here, choice, you have the right to one. When you hear the terms "ego" and "real man" being thrown around know that you are being manipulated. Everyone deserves to have a choice in such a major life decision whether it be AI, adoption or being a step dad. Fatherhood isn't a game of spin the bottle, you don't have to jump up and yell 'yipee' simply because you happen to be available. Absolutely. OP you do have a choice. I am just saying be very careful in that choice as you were taken out of the equation when she made hers... I am worried for you and suspect that you are being used here. Please be careful with the future of both yourself and this baby. Remember that although you were contemplating it the choice was taken out of your hands... That is not respectful nor is it responsible behavior... Please be careful and I wish you luck what ever your decision.
Buckeye2 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 She's explaining this as a rush into things with her doctor. As for 3)- still figuring this all out. She wants it, but she also wants to be solid in our relationship. Married or not she wants a father figure in the life of her child. That's why she came up with this story. She wants to keep things solid with you so you can at least be uncle ConfusedIndeed. If she fooled around it might drive you away.
losangelena Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 Curious to know if you're still around OP and what you've decide. 1
smackie9 Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 IMO he should just take it one day at a time, and don't make any harsh decisions.
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