Fungal0123 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Well i got involved with this guy who i knew in school and then we did not see each other for 5 years well when we did see each other again we started dateing right then and there but see the thing is he is married but he always told me he was going to leave her and i was stupid enough to believe him but now after 6 months of being with him he tells me he is not going to leave her. So now that I am completely in love with this guy ( i mean he is every thing i would ever want in life) just not in love with him being married. and i dont know what to do i have tried leaving him and i went on dates and i always went back to him and he comes back to me i mean we really do love each other but there is no way he will ever leave his wife and i know i need to get out of this relationship with him i know i do but it is sooooo hard. i mean i hate being " the other woman" it is sick i know but i just cant leave him please help me and give me advise on what to do
Treasa Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Um, leave him. For one thing, a man should never be ALL you ever want in life! My God, your parents didn't give you life so that you could let it revolve around some carbon-based life form who happens to be married to SOMEONE ELSE. I also have doubts about this man loving you. If he truly did, he'd leave his wife.
Pyro Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Hi Fungal0123, Unfortunately this is a lesson in life to learn. My best friend had been seeing someone who was married. She had promised to get a divorce and end it with the husband. I am not sure what exactly happened, but they broke up and now my friend has reason to believe that this she is in the process of getting back together with her husband. In my opinion, if you start seeing someone who is still married and they are in no rush to officially get divorced, then they may be putting their marriage partner on hold, a plan B if you will. If this gentleman really did love you and respect you and want to be with you, a divorce would have been his first priority. I know that you can do so much better.
aires_girl4380 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 I am in the same situation only I have been in it longer.....it sucks everything about it sucks! Except for the excitement & the pleasure the he brings to you. But the thing is that isnt reality. So you are going to have to choose 1. Be satisfied w/ what you have with him now or 2. get out deal w/the pain......trust me its coming in time regardless. GOOD LUCK!
Author Fungal0123 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Posted June 2, 2005 Well as yall know i am seeing a married guy well i just tried to end it with him and he got really mad and said he dont want me to go which makes me think he loves me but i know he is not in love with me i am just so confused about all this i mean i am only 20 years old i should not be dealing with this kinda stuff in my life ya know... well i really need yalls help on what to do. please i need support cuz i really love this one i mean i could see us spending the rest of our lives together but it will just never happen and i know that but i have no idea why i cant leave him he says he wont leave his wife becouase they have a child together and i understand that but y did he even do this with me if he knew deep down he was never ganna leave her give me your thoughts.....
Pyro Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 I understand that you love this guy and you believe that he is the "one". You need to look at the reality of what is going on. It's impossible for what you two have to work because he will not leave his wife for you. He is being selfish with this decision. He know's that you love him but he is doing what he wants to do. He does not consider your feelings at all. I believe that he wants to have his cake and eat it too, which I mean having a wife and a GF on the side, which is you. You don't need this disrespect inflicted on you. He only got mad at you because you are "taking his cake away". You have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of guys will come through. You will eventually meet Mr. Right.
Marshbear Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Why did he do it? Sex, my dear. He might like you on some level but not near enough to be with you. You might also think about the fact that if he did leave his wife and married you, do you think he will remain faithful to you? People who cheat usually will repeat this same behavior. Do you want it to happen to you? Peace...
newbby Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 unfortunately harsh bear spoke the truth here. i dont know what the hook is even with much time spent on the analysis of it. perhaps because there is no commitment to you it allows you much more room to fantasize about what could be. in reality this guy is not so great, i guarantee you will look at him in the future and wonder what you ever saw in him. even looking at the facts it is hard to see them for what they are, it is so strange.
jj003 Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by The Riddler I understand that you love this guy and you believe that he is the "one". You need to look at the reality of what is going on. It's impossible for what you two have to work because he will not leave his wife for you. He is being selfish with this decision. He know's that you love him but he is doing what he wants to do. He does not consider your feelings at all. t. The Riddler, Thanks for the reality check!! Thanks for pointing it out although we probably all know it in our hearts.. unfortunately, knowing the reality of what we cannot have will not stop us from loving the person or missing the person.. and knowing he is selfish also cannot stop me from loving... I only hope I will be strong enough not to do anything.. leave him alone, leave me alone and maybe in time, I will come to think less of him... you are right...he doesn't consider my feelings at all.... thanks for the reality check...
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