Chahy377 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 It has come to my attention that I have been used. Pretty badly. I had an off again on again with a guy for the last three years...it has become obvious that he was only using me for oral sex and was lying to me about a lot. It make me feel so humiliated and incredibly sad. Last time I spoke to him things were in good terms I haven't talked to him in 2 weeks because I have realized what has happened. He hasn't reached out these last two weeks either...which makes it all the more clearer I was being used. I want to say something so badly. But I don't know if it would be a bad idea. I want to say that I know now I was being used and to tell him that he is disgusting to me. Right now he thinks that I still like him and into him and it literally makes my skin crawl and I can't deal with it. Should I say something or just let it go?
CarrieT Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Just let it go. And decline any future services on your part. When/If he asks, you can then tell him that you are tired of being used in that manner. 2
K2z Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Write and journal it for at least a month. Distill your feelings to something dignified and concise after that time and consider anew whether to send.
lollipopspot Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Have you found out he was talking about you to someone, or is this just a private revelation?
anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 No don't reach out. It won't matter to him. The only way he'll ever realize that it's wrong to treat somebody that way is by figuring it out on his own. The need to tell somebody that you didn't appreciate how they treated you in a relationship is strong. For me, I found that some of that comes from a place of still wanting to be with them. By telling them what they did wrong, you're hoping to make them realize that THEY were at least partially responsible for the ending of the relationship, and that THEY should still want to be with you. But the other party rarely acknowledges, recognizes, or cares about their faults. My advice is to journal. Write down your own inner monologue and write down what you would say to him. Do it every day or as often as you need to. Eventually you will see the letters starting to sound the same until they are identical. Maybe it will still hurt, but you will know your feelings are more consistent. But whatever you do, don't contact him. It'll only hurt you more. Just improve on yourself and make a promise that you will never let anyone treat you that way again. Be strong!
Author Chahy377 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Posted December 31, 2015 It was something that has been told to me several times by my friends but I refused to listen because he claimed that he wasn't like that and that things were different between us but his actions never matched his words and always caused distress/confusion with me and us. My male friend friend finally broke it down for me and described exactly what he was doing step by step......and also during the holidays seeing the way that genuine people care about and enjoy each other...it became blatantly clear that was not how he saw me...not even basic friendship. It finally made sense to me and everything clicked. I will try to journal my thoughts like what has been suggested. I'm hoping that it helps.'the only thing I struggle with is right now he probably thinks that I'm not speaking to him because I've realized he doesn't like me. That I'm just so into him that now he's placed me to the side...it's like he controls the situation. I want him to know that no, I've realized I've been used, and it is I that wants nothing to do with you....I kinda see it as taking back my agency when before everything depended on him I don't know if that makes sense. I really probably shouldn't care so much about what he thinks....but it's so hard for me to let that part go.
PegNosePete Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Just cut him off. The best way of getting even is to live a happy life without him in it whatsoever.
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