mkaur215 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Hey everyone, I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met online for a year, only met him twice but spoke/texted to him on a regular basis. I found out a few weeks ago that he met someone in his area and was going out with her. I found out by his gf texting me telling me that she was his gf etc.. Long story short as soon as I found out he blocked me on everything and I emailed him demanding an explanation. He said shes nearby and makes him happy which I wasn't doing for him. He wanted to settle down and I just wasn't at that stage because how can you love someone you only met twice? I felt completely heartbroken and begged him to stay with me and promised him I would try harder to make it work. This went back and forth for a week or two, it seemed like everything was going back to normal but everytime I would ask him when he's leaving her he would say he's not. So i eventually just stopped trying because I figured why am I dying over this guy who I'm not even a priority for and just an option? So i decided to download tinder & other dating apps in hopes of finding someone else. Spoke to a few guys but honestly it's not the same and im worried once they see me they will not like me because im fat. I have joined a gym and got a personal trainer. But I just can't help but think about him and wonder if he even thinks about me. I just miss the attention and care that he gave me, sometimes I wish he realizes he messed up and comes running back to me. Does it get easier to forget ?
Coolbeans123 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Oh man.... Hi I'm gonna split my advice for you into two sections. Your relationship issue and your confidence. Ok the relationship is over right now accept that as it's the first step to things getting easier. Stay in no contact. He might have a girlfriend but look on the bright side your needy desperate pleading after he dropped you has a silver lining to it. Do you know what that is? Lol by him being responsive and entertaining it in the way he did of kinda holding on. Before calling it quits again. He undermined his new girlfriends status lol I don't know about you but I would notice that and use it to walk away. Rejection is worse when a man is loyal to the woman he chose over you. I like to look at things in a positive way that suits me because alls fair in love and war and I don't care how I'm Judged for it. It's nothing personal to the other party who could also do better than the douche. But Im telling you this because you are my concern since its you I am responding to. You were settling and truth is men don't respect a woman who moves like a doormat. Women like me don't either. I much rather see a woman have wings and fly. How is it he blocks you every where when he is found out and it's you screaming pls pls I'll try hard to make it work. That desperation was the nail to the coffin. I'm not telling you this to rub it in but so that you learn and grow from this. Please don't ever beg a man especially when it's him who stepped on your heart and mistreated you. Doing so will only humiliate you and put him off more. As for your self consciousness about your weight. You can fix anything you are unhappy about. Forget about these side guys you are looking for online right now and use the no contact period to develop your self esteem. Google good articles about building self esteem. See through your desire to commit to gym Transform that body you are not happy with and the mindset you have now. I mean think about it the mind is a engine how it revs your body moves so wouldn't you like a new mind to go with your new body? No man will like you when you don't like your self. Life is a journey not a destination. Let the next station you enter be about you loving yourself. True love comes knocking when you ain't looking for it. Trust me. Get lost in your self. And remember it will get easier the moment YOU ACCEPT the situation as it is. If you do entertain hopes he would contact you. Tweak your intention to be to get your power back and leave with a bang he didn't expect. Don't have that hope to reconcile. Respect yourself Love yourself Only you determine your value and right now you are moving cheap because you are reflecting on the outside what's in your inside. Believe in better and want better for yourself darling. Men are like buses when one goes another comes. As for the emotions in the heart due to loss of what's familiar and attachment. In time it will pass and the only thing you can do to help that time come quicker is to remember you haven't lost the love of your life someone that made you feel like a queen. You lost someone who made you an easy option to drop. Who blocked you with no care for your feelings. Let that show you where you stood with him. Channel that anger into relief in that you are free from connection to a douche. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger Edited December 31, 2015 by Coolbeans123
D.r.e Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 I just miss the attention and care that he gave me, sometimes I wish he realizes he messed up and comes running back to me. Does it get easier to forget ? Yes, it does get easier, but it takes work. Focus on your growth, the attention can easily be replaced. You can even get to a point where you don't need that external attention, you know you are enough on your own. You're on the right track, hit the gym hard, fuel your body right and work on your life. 1
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