serious question

[mike0441]

IF you're in a bad relationship why is it still hard , and hurt to end it ?

is it because you're used to being with the other person ,or fear you wont find someone ?

I am in a horrible ''relationship'' .[ i use the word relationship very lightly ] .

the quick version -i dated a woman for about 4/5 yrs in the past.she was divorced with 2 kids [ not living with her ]. we met at work .was great for about 2/3 yrs .then the girl-friends started missing her ,wanted to hang out etc . which was fine with me [ at first ] .THEN she cheated on me .i left [ literally left the state ] .went to stay with my sister who needed help .

me and the ex remained in contact [ just casually ] .her an the new guy didn't last but a couple of months .

I returned to the same state about a yr. later .me and the ex hung out some.

we ended up burying the hatchet started seeing each other , then started dating again .[ i know people will say ''she cheated on you never date them again etc. '' ] .Went good for a while .

NOW she has these new friends [ one in particular is married] who's husband doesn't want to go out shopping , and to country western dance classes, and country western clubs .my girl likes that stuff ,soo they go together .the married woman's husband doesn't care if she's out all night [ he's probably thankful she isn't around him ] .so since her and my girl have full time jobs the only chances they get to do things is weekends.

they will leave 9/10 am and return 11 pm from shopping [ insane] they don't shop in our area cause theirs better stores elsewhere. this happens every weekend [ honestly ] if their not out shopping my girl is at their house .a bunch of weekends i've had plans with my girl ,she agreed to the plans .the time came to do what was planned she's with her girl-fried .doesn't answer her phone when i call cause she knows i'll be up-set at her .later on when she does call back she'll say ''oh i forgot '' , wasn't that next week'' ,''i'm with kim she drove i don't have my car '' .

So the plans were never followed through on .i repeatably ask for compromise -you go shop or whatever start early be back by 4-5 pm still plenty of time for us to eat together,go out,stay in watch a movie etc .

it's NEVER happened [ though she'll say ''i understand'' ] .

FOR x-mas i spent $100 dollars on her [ some sweaters,scarf etc] she loves them .ME know what i got ? NOTHING [ not even an x-mas card ] .

IN Nov i've been saying we'll put up the tree together it'll be fun .my dog loves laying under the tree with the lights blinking . she agrees to this PLUS as she knows i pretty much suck at decorating , so she asks me one nigh to have the decorations etc. all out so when she gets their we do it.o.k. done everything's in my dining room .DETOUR her girl-friends kid is getting married and needs my girl to help go look at venues with her and her mom ,pick out flowers,foods,deserts etc .one night my girl comes over after 11 pm ,looks at the decorations puts a nativity set on a coffee table and goes to bed .

THIS ''relationship'' is a joke ,it's pathetic, and laughable .we're [ i feel barely even friends ] we don't talk much, i get lied to ,sex live is basically non existent .

SO is it because i have feelings towards others it's hard to say see ya ,because i have time and emotions invested in this that it's hard to ignore her ,because it's the holiday time ? obvious she doesn't need me , could care less if she spends free time with me ,ignores my calls on weekends , in 2015 we have done 2 things together as a couple . she thinks nothing is wrong , i've told her find someone [ a professional ] to talk to get their opinion ,i'll even go with .

[justanotherguy1]

Bruh... Wtf you still doing with her. I know the feeling. Was the same with my ex. She never gave a **** about me. Never made time to see me or even do things with me. For over a year we only saw each other like 3 or 4 times. She nevr pur in the effort and God knows why i stayed with her.

 

For me. It was the first time I had someone and also we were together 3 years so it was difficult for me to just throw away those years. But understand this. The amount of effort your putting in. There aren't a whole lot of men who do these things and women would do anything for that.

 

I'll be blunt so forgive me. Leave her. She treats you horribly and you are not happy. Date a lot of women after and forget about her. She is not worth it.

 

You deserve better my friend. This woman isnt worth your trouble. And dont worry about the future. Being alone sounds alot better than being with her. And you wont be alone for long.

 

Get out of this toxic relationship. For your future happoness.

[mike0441]

well that's the plan leave her . already took down my facebook page , cancelled my twitter account, got a new e-mail address ,having my phone number changed on Sat .

just waiting on her call to ask what we're doing for new yrs eve and i'll just reply do what you want to do what i'm doing from now on wont include you .

i want it to be a quick no more than 5 min call .

stuff i have her that's hers will be dropped off on her steps early one morning .no note nothing . whatever she has of mine she can keep or toss out .

don't need to worry about running into her anywhere since we don't go to the same places IF by some chance we do i'll have blinders on ignore her like the plague .