mirandasbuddy Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 The idea that YOU need to change who you are because of THEIR bad behavior is just....ridiculous. You made it clear you dress modestly in your first post. This isn't about something being wrong with you. This is about them. Next time it happens, tell them to buzz of and find someone their own age, and hold your head high. 2
xxoo Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Keep in mind that young men aren't going to hit on you in the same obvious, tongue-wagging way. Men your own age may not hit on you at all if they don't see signs of returned interest from your direction. Do you know how to recognize the interest of a man your own age? How to convey interest in him? 2
stillafool Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Because young guys have their own set of problems, namely that they all crowd around the over-primped, bleached, tanned, hot chick who wears heels hiking and enough makeup to make Ru Paul look natural. Guys your age still think the be all and end all is that one flashy chick that everyone wants. It's not until they've chased that dream for several years and failed before they start noticing the less perfumed and more sedate women among them. Oh c'mon, not all young girls look that way. Some are just naturally beautiful and can't help it.
MoreAmore Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Some Men just do that. It really is irrelevant how you look or who you are... Older men might be more aggressive with experience so more noticeable. Shut them down when they do and focus on the guys you are attracted to... If you fear for your safety, get help shutting it down.
Buddhist Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 Oh c'mon, not all young girls look that way. Some are just naturally beautiful and can't help it. Yeah I know. But it is common that younger guys seem to be more attracted (at least initially) to highly groomed women. They stand out, it stands to reason. The same way that younger women seem to be more attracted to the hot guy. It's a truism, that the better the packaging the more attention you get, for both sexes. If that wasn't true then the fashion and cosmetic industry wouldn't exist. Everyone hits adulthood thinking they can have their ultimate dream in dating and they all try and reach for it. That's just human nature. If the OP isn't immediately looking like that then sure men her own age aren't going to clamour over her. And we are living in an increasingly vapid, narcissistic world where more and more people are image conscious in a big way due to social media. That does affect the dating behaviour of younger people.
hasaquestion Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 The idea that YOU need to change who you are because of THEIR bad behavior is just....ridiculous. You made it clear you dress modestly in your first post. This isn't about something being wrong with you. This is about them. Next time it happens, tell them to buzz of and find someone their own age, and hold your head high. Ah the hypocrisy of this site. If a male posts that he can't get any dates, its totally okay to tell him to go to the gym and get a haircut and stop wearing sneakers and do X, Y, and Z. But god forbid you suggest a women do the female version of that. 2
venusishername Posted January 5, 2016 Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) It seems like I almost always attract attention from men that are over 40 but I am 19. Why is this? I dress modestly and I am regarded as shy when it comes to relationships. These men are often creepy and cat call me, check me out openly or try to grope me. However, men around my age have never given me a second glance. I'm in university, and no one my age ever came up to talk to me. And my course is a male-dominated course, so I have no idea what's attracting these men. I'm not attracted to much older men at all. :/ A man over 40 groping and catcalling a 19 year old is definitely creepy. There's nothing wrong with appreciating someone's attractiveness but most men over 40 that I know wouldn't be giving a girl under 25 a second look. That's just what I've experienced. I remember when I was 19, a table of old men (over 55) at a wedding I went to were 'flirting' with me and checking me out. I'm still creeped out by that! They were harmless, but I still felt it was gross. I strongly agree with a poster above that it would be worth it to think about whether you might be putting off some kind of 'vibe' that is overtly sexual, or maybe appealing to older men rather than men your own age. You say you dress modestly, but sometimes it is a look you give or personality trait that you might carry. I think I used to be this way, and probably why I attracted older men. But I also attracted men my own age too. I always was attracted to older men, so I'm more understanding of the age gap, but I would be averse to more than 15 years older, or in your case, younger. I would suggest that you take a closer look at what YOU might be putting across rather than what others are doing. Edited January 5, 2016 by venusishername 1
stillafool Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 Yeah I know. But it is common that younger guys seem to be more attracted (at least initially) to highly groomed women. They stand out, it stands to reason. . Yes but not all goodlooking people are highly groomed. Some just have natural good looks without makeup, hair tint or expensive, trendy clothing. They are just naturally beautiful without even trying and I think that is what most young men are attracted to.
thecrucible Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 Sometimes older guys like me too. But I'm not meeting many men my age. I try not to analyse it too much. I also have a body like Kim K and many men my age don't seem interested in curvy women. I wear makeup but I try not to look overdone. I've had guys tell me "I seem innocent but I'm not" so maybe they think they can corrupt me or something - dead creepy.
Author veganpilot Posted January 6, 2016 Author Posted January 6, 2016 (edited) On a normal day out, I would not put on any makeup. Usually, I am incredibly lazy. I put on a pair of jeans, a regular t-shirt and a pair of sandals; very casual-looking. At school, I couldn't really be glamorous; I had to wear a uniform to a professional standard, properly groomed and I didn't have enough time to do any makeup (It takes me ages to do makeup) as I had a lot of preparations to do. I am just your regular Plain Jane. However, if I had time to dress up and do my makeup, I would wear modest dresses down to my knees or a nice, fashionable shirt with jeans. I may even wear high heels. I don't want to sound conceited, but when I do wear makeup, people think I'm a head turner and many think that I'm "hot" or even "out of their league". Some guy friends told me they thought I was out of their league, but if I had that sort of vibe, why did I still get that sort of attention with perverted, leery old men? Without makeup, I look like a different person. I look shy, insecure-looking, quiet, "innocent" and passive. Maybe this is the reason why old perverted men think I am a catch. They think I wouldn't fend for myself and possibly submissive (I'm Asian and these old perverts are strangely Caucasian. Maybe this is the reason why they think I am tiny and submissive, despite that I'm of an average height of 5'8?). And I do look older than my age with makeup, about early twenties but without any makeup, I look younger than 19. Strangely I get hit on more without any makeup. Edited January 6, 2016 by veganpilot
NewLeaf512 Posted January 6, 2016 Posted January 6, 2016 Comically enough, most middle aged guys actually think it's natural that they should be dating women 20 years younger than themselves. While that's probably wishful thinking, the reality is that most young beautiful women aren't attracted to someone who looks like their father or grandfather. Hope springs eternal, I guess. this is so true and so gross and ridiculous.
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