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HB - Hysterical Bonding [infidelity-related]

road

By road
in General Relationship Discussion

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road Established Member

road

Posted
Posted

HB is not mandatory to recover from an affair.

 

 

HB does not happen between all spouses after D day.

 

 

HB when does happen usually lasts for six months. Usually implies often. What it does not imply that HB has to last for six months. HB can be short as a few weeks and sometimes HB goes out as far as a year.

 

 

When a spouse does not want to do HB it can because they feel that the affair has left their WS too soiled to want to touch them as if traces of the AP was still on the WS.

 

 

Another reason is that the BH is acting very weak. Matter of fact so weak that the WW gets totally turned off. So much so they do not want to touch or be touched by the BH.

 

 

HB is not needed for sex to return between the WS and the BS.

 

 

It does not matter if there is HB for marriages recover from infidelity all the time.

 

 

If recovery does not happen the work is not being done by the WS and the BS.

 

 

There is usually too much I'm doing my share of the work to recover and my spouse has to do their fair share. I say forget the score keeping. Sometimes depending were the BS and the WS is in their healing one has to pick up the slack and get the work done.

 

 

Again people place too much importance on HB to recover a marriage. More important is that the BS and the WS have to make each other feel safe so they can do the work needed to recover.

 

 

HB will never repair the broken trust needed to recover a marriage.

 

 

HB will never pull the WS back into the marriage when they are constantly being blamed for the BS problems. Yes the BS hurts but the BS constantly hurting the WS keeps a wall between the WS and BS.

 

 

HB is like great icing on a great cake. It does not make the cake great. It is not needed to eat the cake, It just adds to the cake. HB just adds to the recovery. HB has been enjoyed by many though it is not needed for recovery.

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gettingstronger Established Member

gettingstronger

Posted
Posted

Yes- enjoyed HB myself but understand that it is not a cure nor is it essential to reconcile- reconciliation is such a complex process, to me the only thing every couple seems to have in common is-time-

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