Jet96 Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I wanna know what kind of problems or drama can be caused by go public about your relationship such as posting relationship status on social media or claiming the person your going out with? I feel it is the same as taking your wedding ring off in public while without your spouse and having it on while your with them am I the only person who thinks this way ? p.s some friends told me that it only causes drama going public but I think being private will cause problems because other people might try and come in. Also do anyone thinks it's wrong to not tell a person whos trying to pursue you that your already in a relationship ?
central Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Aside from crazy exes who may create problems, I see no good reason to not be public. Otherwise, I'd think they want to keep their options open, are ashamed of you, have someone else on the side already who doesn't know about you, or something similar. Of course, there's also no need to be obvious or blatant or broadcast it far and wide - it can be embarrassing if it doesn't work out. Low key is my preference, but not at all secret. Friends and family should know. And yes, you do need to tell someone else that you are in a relationship if they make overtures towards you. 3
sin miedo Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I'm confused what you mean by "public." My relationship is public in the sense that my friends and family are well aware, but I don't broadcast it over social media. I don't really see the advantage of telling the whole world about it, I mean people could probably figure it out based on the sheer number of mutual pictures. Things like "Facebook official" seem a little childish to me. 5
carhill Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 IMO, each couple owns their relationship and its status is entirely their prerogative. I've met the gamut in life. TBH, other than the few who hurt me by not disclosing being married, I had no opinion of their choices as a couple. In my own road to marriage things evolved organically and over time, most markedly when becoming engaged. Social media was in its infancy back then and I don't think we used it at all until long after being married. 'Public' to us was being seen in public in real life as a couple and acting like a couple in public, meaning focused on each other as a baseline to our other public interactions. Other people may feel differently and their choices are valid for them. Life's too short IMO to worry about other folks out there in real life. They do what they do. Their relationships are their business. 1
Gaeta Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I wanna know what kind of problems or drama can be caused by go public about your relationship such as posting relationship status on social media or claiming the person your going out with? I feel it is the same as taking your wedding ring off in public while without your spouse and having it on while your with them am I the only person who thinks this way ? p.s some friends told me that it only causes drama going public but I think being private will cause problems because other people might try and come in. Also do anyone thinks it's wrong to not tell a person whos trying to pursue you that your already in a relationship ? If we're talking 2 adults here, no there is no drama involved of letting know people you are officially dating. I find it cute when people switch their status to 'in relationship with'. It's also often the only way I know my cousin and other family members have a new boyfriend. When we meet someone and make it official it's a time to celebrate and be happy for them. If we're talking 2 adults here, being private does not cause any problem either. If I am in a relationship and I am keeping it private I will simply declined men approaching me for dates. I trust the man I am dating will do the same. I really don't see what's the danger in there. Men may try to come on? meh...so what. As for not telling you're in a relationship if you are approached, well it depends. If I am approached by a stranger in a supermarket I don't think he needs to know my entire life so no, I will just say 'no thank you'. If I am being approached by an acquaintance I may see occasionally here and there, I will then take more time and answer Thank you but I am in an happy relationship. If you're talking about hiding on purpose to everyone around you are in a relationship then that's a red flag to me. I would not date someone like that. I would not date anyone with these types of hang ups. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I never dated in the age of social media but changing your relationship status on FB probably causes problems in some relationships. The whole when do you even friend a new date is probably an issue. I suppose the two people need to talk about it. I doubt I'd change my status unilaterally without having "the Talk." As for announcing it or not, hiding it would most likely cause more drama. If you hold hand in public, have met each other's friends & socialize as a couple, I don't see the harm in changing your status. Trying to hide it would be more complicated.
smackie9 Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 All I can say who gives a crap what anyone thinks...no seriously, so what if you are in a relationship, go ahead and tell everyone about it.
smackie9 Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 On FB you don't have to show status at all....just go that route.
kismetkismet Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 What do you mean by 'public'? It sounds like you're talking specifically about social media so i'll just tell it to you from my perspective... I was in my early 20s when fb came about and I remember that breaking up with my boyfriend and having that so public was very stressful. I don't like people knowing when i'm struggling emotionally at all and it felt.. embarrassing and invasive when i had to change the status (couldn't set it to private at the time). Also, I know that when people do see new relationship statuses they start to creep the new person and it can invite negativity that I don't really need. I don't like the idea that my boyfriend's ex and her friends will creep me while judging me and telling her how much better she is so don't worry about it. In reality those things don't really matter of course, it doesn't ACTUALLY affect me, i just don't like the idea of it. I've also had boyfriend's exes contact me directly on facebook and say weird things, which is just unnecessary. However I'm a generally private person. I don't share much of my private life on facebook in general because i don't think all those people need to know what's going on with me. but I think that bringing him in to know my family and my friends was a huge step in my confidence in the relationship and those are the people that matter to me.. So.. if someone is super splashy on facebook, posts everything about their private life and photos all the time, but then won't post a relationship status I would wonder why. But if the person doesn't really share their personal life on facebook to begin with, then i don't see how their relationship would be any different. However, i'm super close with my family and friends. If i wasn't sharing our relationship with them then that would be indicative of a problem. It's different for everyone. 1
Sunlight72 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Personally, I find facebook impersonal and almost creepy. I don't like people I 'friended' just to not hurt their feelings 7 years ago to know personal details about my love life. But that's me. I don't post much of anything on facebook. I'd agree with kismetkismet - if a person posts often (several times a week or more), I would examine things more closely if they don't want to post that they're in a relationship. If a person posts more generic things once or twice a month, I wouldn't expect them to post about a relationship. More important to me is to make the relationship clear and obvious in public places when we're out. If they're hiding that, or not properly introducing me to friends/family I would be a bit insulted unless they have a poor relationship with those people and want to not get tangled up with them.
TheArtist Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 I don't show it on Facebook, it makes breakups much harder to handle as you nervously click that 'I'm Single' button once more. Then you have a tidal wave of virtual friends wishing you well, sometimes as long as a week later. Relationships last longer when Facebook doesn't know about it. 3
dobielover Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) If you're talking about the "In a Relationship with ______" thing on FB, that's just dumb. If you need that marking on social media to feel secure, you've got bigger problems in your relationship. When I'm in a relationship, it's obvious, to my friends and family, and on social media just through pictures and who I'm spending my time with and whatnot, not because of a relationship status. I don't have one. Not single, not IAR, nothing. Here is a good list of reasons to not blast your relationship all over FB: http://elitedaily.com/dating/16-things-being-in-a-relationship-on-facebook-actually-says-about-you/1023534/ Edited December 31, 2015 by dobielover 2
Author Jet96 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Posted December 31, 2015 If you're talking about the "In a Relationship with ______" thing on FB, that's just dumb. If you need that marking on social media to feel secure, you've got bigger problems in your relationship. When I'm in a relationship, it's obvious, to my friends and family, and on social media just through pictures and who I'm spending my time with and whatnot, not because of a relationship status. I don't have one. Not single, not IAR, nothing. Here is a good list of reasons to not blast your relationship all over FB: 16 Things Being In A Relationship On Facebook Actually Says About You what about other pursuing you ando your partner knows . People with most likely not pusure when they know that person is taken . It keeps others out of thier inbox trying to hit them up
Author Jet96 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Posted December 31, 2015 Or if your trying to keep your options open . If in a exclusive commited relationship there shouldnot be any drama with it
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 what about other pursuing you ando your partner knows . People with most likely not pusure when they know that person is taken . It keeps others out of thier inbox trying to hit them up It really sounds like you are very insecure in your relationship and this is the real problem. If she isn't a person who wants to broadcast her personal dating life on FB and you are getting uptight about it, it does not bode well. Many people just ignore that "relationship status" thing on FB. Also FB is not a dating site, I am not aware of a big issue of people trying to hit on other people through the FB inbox. Are you actually having a relationship in real life or is this mostly an online thing? 1
kismetkismet Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 what about other pursuing you ando your partner knows . People with most likely not pusure when they know that person is taken . It keeps others out of thier inbox trying to hit them up The person can just respond to the messages by saying "i have a boyfriend/girlfriend" or ignore them... People get hit on in public all the time as well, it's not like i walk around at bars with a sign hung around my neck that says "in a relationship with _____" 1
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