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Should I text him before I breakup with him?


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Posted

I have decided that I am going to breakup with my boyfriend, but I won't see him for a week or so. Should I try and limit the texts (obviously I can't ignore him completely) or just carry on like normal?

 

I don't want to send the 'we need to talk' text now if I am still at my parents home for Christmas.

Posted

I'd send a text that says "Can we talk when I get back?" It's not ideal but it's better than leading him on or ignoring him.

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Posted

I like that d0nnivain ^^^^

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Posted
I'd send a text that says "Can we talk when I get back?" It's not ideal but it's better than leading him on or ignoring him.

 

I think this is a good idea, but I sent a bland general chit chat message last night (no responses in time lol). I don't know if it is a bit harsh to send it now, on new year's eve or better?

Posted

If I got a text saying we had to talk, no matter how gently or light-heartedly it was put, I would have a feeling of dread and would not want to wait. I mean, are you really going to send the guy a "we need to talk" message and then expect him to enjoy his NYE?

 

Either say nothing or have the talk over the phone.

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Posted
If I got a text saying we had to talk, no matter how gently or light-heartedly it was put, I would have a feeling of dread and would not want to wait. I mean, are you really going to send the guy a "we need to talk" message and then expect him to enjoy his NYE?

 

Either say nothing or have the talk over the phone.

 

Totally agree. Don't say that on NYE. Just be bland but normal today.

Posted
If I got a text saying we had to talk, no matter how gently or light-heartedly it was put, I would have a feeling of dread and would not want to wait. I mean, are you really going to send the guy a "we need to talk" message and then expect him to enjoy his NYE?

 

Either say nothing or have the talk over the phone.

 

Agreed. Having been the recipient of the 'we need to talk' message/call a few times I can attest to the feeling of dread. You know what's coming and it's all you can think about until you do have that talk. It's horrible.

 

If you want to break up with him then either just do it now or say nothing until you next see him.

 

'We need to talk' essentially means you're getting dumped very soon.

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Posted
'We need to talk' essentially means you're getting dumped very soon.

 

True. I think I'll just wait it out :confused: and send him a text asking to meet up when I can next see him.

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Posted

Doesn't anyone ever make phone calls anymore???

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Posted
Doesn't anyone ever make phone calls anymore???

 

Do you mean have the entire breakup talk on the phone or just ask if we could meet up? I would rather do it in person.

Posted

Hannah, is this going to totally surprise your BF? Is this a situation where he is significantly more invested in the R than you are? Personally, there may be some consideration to doing it over the phone....I know I will likely be blasted for this but from a guys perspective, this way may allow him to maintain some dignity being over the phone as opposed to in person. Guys in this situation sometimes will lose their composure and during a breakup....may not want the now ex to see how vulnerable and hurt they really are. I am not saying this is absolute but you, I am sure know the situation better than any of us. I can see you are looking for the best way to do this for both you and for him.

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Posted

No, I don't think it is going to surprise him at all. I tried to break up a few weeks ago because I was jealous/concerned about how close he is with his female friend, but I decided to give him another chance because he said he wanted to make it work. I am home for Christmas and he was supposed to visit but he hasn't done. He was supposed to come up but cancelled and hasn't bothered rearranging. So I don't think he will be surprised.

Posted
No, I don't think it is going to surprise him at all. I tried to break up a few weeks ago because I was jealous/concerned about how close he is with his female friend, but I decided to give him another chance because he said he wanted to make it work. I am home for Christmas and he was supposed to visit but he hasn't done. He was supposed to come up but cancelled and hasn't bothered rearranging. So I don't think he will be surprised.

 

Well in lieu of the above, definitely call him and break up. There's no need to rehash all of what has already been said. Just call him up and tell him. It sounds like he may be relieved.

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Posted

So tonight is not a problem?

Posted
Well in lieu of the above, definitely call him and break up. There's no need to rehash all of what has already been said. Just call him up and tell him. It sounds like he may be relieved.

 

This. No need to drag this out.

 

Honestly: if will give the two of you a carte blanche tonight if you know what I mean. ;-)

Posted

So Hannah, how did he take the break up?

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