Am I just over analyzing or is she trying to make me jealous?

[theredpill]

Yes, because you equate to spending all this time together as making your connection stronger - whereas in actual fact for many of the female friends I've spoken over the years are actually looking for quality time together on actual dates to build that emotional connection, rather than someone who's got nothing else going in his life than to spend all his spare time with them instead... they need this interim period for their feelings to grow and they can grow when you're not around, so over time they want you around more and more.

 

 

She's got a connection with this dude, if it comes to a choice it'll be him every time - you're in denial here and I'd be tempted to go read other posts where people have got into relationships for 6 months or more an their partner just ran to their ex as soon as the door opened.

 

 

Spending everyday together for the majority of people not the best approach, particularly in this situation where she's confused, uncertain and dealing with internal demons. You keep pushing, she'll pull away and it'll be over, I can almost guarantee this and if I were to take a punt, looking for someone else would be your best bet for future happiness.

 

 

Good luck, know your situation sucks - the lesson is never ever date anyone on the rebound, you'll be totally 100% infatuated when they run away and it'll hurt, real bad.

[Waynester]

Classic rebound op.. You started talking to her the day after her breakup of a 3 year relationship! You are clearly her fall back guy.. As others have said, this pattern will continue to repeat. You need to back right off, and see this for what it is, before you get hurt more yourself.

[carhill]

The key with these is, done respectfully, properly romance them, bed them and then dump them if they disrespect one with yet another foray back to the ex. Sex is important in breaking the connection to the ex. The most successful thieves or, in your case, rebound rustlers, are those who are expert at handling women. That isn't mean, it's respecting ones role in the world of interpersonal relationships. Successful men get things done. That's why they're rarely without a partner. They know how to get them, and confidently.

 

IMO, develop relationship skills first, preferably with an otherwise un-distracted woman, then move on to these poaching milieus. However, if you want to continue, sex and asserting strong boundaries might do the trick, with emphasis on might. I wouldn't count on it.

[cupcakebunny]

Classic rebound behavior - She's using you. If you want to sincerely date, she's not the person. She's not ready or over her ex. I would dump her find someone that's truly unattached.

[Heretostayy]

We hangout everyday, is being to avalible make her miss her ex more

 

I've been talking to this girl for 2 months, we started talking 2 days after she left her 3 year relationship (red flag).

 

- she left me the 2nd week of talking to go back to her ex because "he had her heart", she came back 2 days later

 

- I took her back and forgave her then she left again 2 weeks later for her ex again, then came back 3 weeks later.

 

- we been talking and hanging out a lot, she blocked her ex on all social media, but I keep seeing her stalking his Twitter, she even goes out the way to retweet stuff off his page, and message females that's on his page asking "where are you from".

 

- last night me her and her best friend had a movie night, but she slept the whole movie.

 

I got go on to her tumblr and she wrote this

 

"I lost a part of me I will never have again, and it’s starting to eat me alive"

 

Im lost

[GingerVixen]

I don't think you want to be the rebound guy do you?

MOVE ON.

 

She hasnt forgotten her ex yet.

[hhatesboys]

I'm sorry you're both going through this, but it does sound like you are the rebound guy. It is up to you to decide if you want to wipe away all her tears and risk getting dumped in a year or two....

[William]

Noting multiple threads on a similar topic, I've merged them into one discussion. There may be some duplication of content. Please continue the discussion here. Replies from the thread starter may be delayed briefly. Thanks!

[Heretostayy]

me and my ex of 3 years broke up 3 weeks ago, and the next day she was already with someone. I've been NC since we split.

 

What brought me here is because today when I was leaving the gym, I saw her driving by the gym, 3 years of dating I never known her to drive by it unless she was dropping me off.

 

-Past week she's been retweeting things off my Twitter page.

 

-Past three days she has been uploading pics of her and this new guy, and already made him and her, her profile pic after just 3 weeks.

 

- Wednesday she called me but I didn't answer

(Couple minutes later she posted on her tumblr "I lost a part of me I never have again, and now it's eating me alive)

 

Her just driving by made me question her intentions.

[Heretostayy]

Me and this girl have been talking for 3 weeks, she just got out a 3 year relationship. We started talking a couple of days after the breakup.

 

Few days ago I saw on her tumblr she had a status that said "I lost apart of me I'll never have again, and it's starting to eat me alive".

 

Then the next day she made us her profile pic, only 3 weeks into talking. Is this a red flag

[ExpatInItaly]

Me and this girl have been talking for 3 weeks, she just got out a 3 year relationship. We started talking a couple of days after the breakup.

 

Few days ago I saw on her tumblr she had a status that said "I lost apart of me I'll never have again, and it's starting to eat me alive".

 

Then the next day she made us her profile pic, only 3 weeks into talking. Is this a red flag

 

Yes, it is.

 

She more than likely posted it to make her ex jealous.

 

Just tell her that you feel it's not the right time yet to do that and please remove it. It's a red flag even if her ex can't see it, given you've only been "talking" for three weeks. Not good.

[Starsandshadows]

I agree it seems like she's trying to make the ex jealous. And that tumblr quote could either be just a quote or showing she's not over the ex. 3 weeks isn't long to be over a long relationship in my opinion

[Heretostayy]

I was with the girl I loved going on 3 years. October we started having a rough patch, she meet a new group of friends who I felt was a bad vibe for her. They started taking her around these guys and she got connected with one. In the beginning of November she left me for him, but 3 weeks later she comes back saying "she was sorry she was extremely confused and that made her realize she loved me".

 

We started hanging out more, started going on dates regaining our relationship back, but then the same dude she left me for came back and just started feeding her stuff like "I really want be with you yada yada" and her friends was telling her "yeah give him a chance your ex is no good for you yada yada". I just said "I'm not down for games do what you gotta do".

 

It's been 3 weeks since we last talked:

 

- she retweets my tweets on Twitter she knows I'm highly active on there

- she called me Tuesday but I was at work so I couldn't answer, but she posted a status a couple minutes later saying "I lost a part of me I'll never have again and it's starting to eat me alive" on her tumblr ( she uses tumblr as her escape to vent her problems so nobody sees it )

- then the next day she made her and the guy her profile pic after 3 weeks of leaving me

- yesterday I saw her driving past the gym I go to which she never done before

 

It's just at times I'm okay but I just miss her

[anonymousbear00101100]

She sounds immature and not worth your time. If she listens to her friends for advice on which guy to choose, then she's not the person you want to be with. Never give someone who left you a second chance. My ex and I broke up three or four times, and the latest of which sent me here. It doesn't work out.

 

You deserve to be with someone who would never leave you for anyone and doesn't need a reminder that she still loves you. This girl is not the one. She is below you and not worth your time.

 

Missing her is normal. You're going to feel that way for a while, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. For three years she was your best friend, your rock, the love of your life! Of course it'll suck to see that person go. But she isn't any of those things for you anymore. Believe it or not, someone else will be all of those things for you in the future, and you'll forget all about this girl.

 

The mixed signals she's sending you are a killer. I got those too. It might seem like she still wants you, and that'll keep you attached far longer than she is. Maybe she is doing it on purpose because she craves attention. Maybe she doesn't realize the pain she is causing you.

 

Either way, you need to cut her out of your life completely and focus on you. Block her on social media so neither of you can keep track of each other. Switch gyms if you have to! Make it so she can never see you grieving and you can never see her happy. Soon you'll start to forget her face and become indifferent about who she's seeing or what she's doing.

 

Start doing things that make you happy and start doing things that will attract women. Read a book! Learn guitar! Pick up a new language! You're already killing it at the gym, but maybe start doing some hot yoga with the ladies (It's great man, trust me). Build up your confidence and women will flock to you. Soon you'll realize you don't need her anymore.

 

If this girl wants you back, she has to come to you. And if she does come to you, I'd highly suggest saying no. You don't need someone who left you. Work on yourself and put yourself in a position that if she wants you back, you're the one with the power asking "Why should I want to be with you?" Just stay strong and be positive.

[Blanco]

People have already given you good insights on your situation in the many other threads you've started about it.

 

At this point, you shouldn't be aware of her social media activity, because all it's doing is keeping you stuck, feeling lousy, and reading too much into everything she posts.

[scubasteve]

For the sake of your brain cells, don't get back with her. Don't end up like me...you're going to be on a longest emotional roller coaster of your life.

[drseuss]

I'm sorry this has happened to another person !! My last gf had literaly just broken up with her on off bf of 12 years

 

I went through this for 10 months in which time I would say every few weeks she would pretty much break up with me and then just kinda come back like nothing had happened , her ex even stayed over her house once when he was back from a long trip away " nothing happened "...

 

I was a mug and looking back I should have been stronger , but I loved her and even 5 months post bu I have bad days

 

These situations are the same and if I walked away early it might have set something up for the future instead of clinging on and killing it , let her go and let her get over her ex . She has to go through the process Is she is ever going to be in a healthy solid rs again

[Heretostayy]

So I've been talking to this girl for 2 months, she's out of a 3 year relationship. She has left me twice in those past 2 months for ex she said "she was lost and confused but since we connected well she wants to give me a shot". So I said then let make it work and stop with the games. So we're 3 weeks into talking again.

 

We we hang out ALL THE TIME.

 

Pretty much sleep together ALL THE TIME.

 

I made her block her ex on all social media but I've caught her still looking at it and even retweeting things off his twitter.

 

3 weeks into this she has already made me her profile picture, on Twitter.

 

She wrote something on tumblr Tuesday where I snuck on her phone and saw it said "I lost apart of me I'll never have again and it starting to eat me alive".

 

could I just be potential rebound for her?

 

i feel that her being around all the time is to fill the void of reality of missing her ex cause I know they also was together 24/7

 

we're not officially dating but it's what it seems like

 

Dating

[William]

Noting multiple threads on a similar topic, I've merged them into one discussion. There may be some duplication of content. Please continue the discussion here. Replies from the thread starter may be delayed briefly. Thanks!

 

Bumping this so members can be reassured we have this issue under control. One of the other moderators worked it out.