Ocdraun Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I lied to my girlfriend about me testing dating apps and just fooling around killing my time in one night back in my hometown when im alone. I never intended to cheat or doing a real date or even a conversation with the virtual apps. I lied because i fear her anger and distrust when im telling the truth about my motivation. Now she find out and she broke me up..i try to apologize and explained to her many times with flower, letters,chats. Now she wants to keep low contact with me only by texting and tell me to move on,because she said she doesnt have any future with me...what should i do to save our 2,5 year relationship?im so desperated and regretful for this mistake, i love her so much. Its been 2 weeks now since break up
PegNosePete Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 You should respect her wishes and accept that the relationship is over. Next time, don't tell lies. Many people believe that lying is a complete 100% deal-breaker. In fact if you look at what people look for in a partner, top of the list is usually honesty.
Silver_star Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 You messed up and now you are facing the music. There is no way around that. You obviously broke her trust by "trying" out dating apps. In a relationship you should have no business being on a dating app. It sounds like she is understandably hesitant to re-enter the relationship because she doesn't trust you. The ball is in her court now. You have done all you can so far to try to get her back with you, but now all you can do it give her space and time to think about it and see if she comes back. If not, just learn from this and move on. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 You were "trying out" dating apps? Right. That's BS and she knows it. Don't insult her intelligence by saying you were just trying them out. She clearly knows better than that. Next time, don't do that.
Wewon Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I lied to my girlfriend about me testing dating apps and just fooling around killing my time in one night back in my hometown when im alone. I never intended to cheat or doing a real date or even a conversation with the virtual apps. I lied because i fear her anger and distrust when im telling the truth about my motivation. Now she find out and she broke me up..i try to apologize and explained to her many times with flower, letters,chats. Now she wants to keep low contact with me only by texting and tell me to move on,because she said she doesnt have any future with me...what should i do to save our 2,5 year relationship?im so desperated and regretful for this mistake, i love her so much. Its been 2 weeks now since break up Two questions: 1) How did she find out that you were lying? (not that it matters) 2) What did you expect when you were caught in a lie of this nature? Your relationships sounds like it had more problems than you lying. You shouldn't be afraid of being honest with your partner, you should do a bit of a triage and some introspection before you end up in another relationship that inspires you to test out dating apps. 2
GingerVixen Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 OP, you made a mistake. Learn from it. And no flowers, letters or chat can make a woman see you as honest if you were a liar.
Itspointless Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I lied to my girlfriend about me testing dating apps and just fooling around killing my time in one night back in my hometown when im alone. I never intended to cheat or doing a real date or even a conversation with the virtual apps. I lied because i fear her anger and distrust when im telling the truth about my motivation. Now she find out and she broke me up..i try to apologize and explained to her many times with flower, letters,chats. Now she wants to keep low contact with me only by texting and tell me to move on,because she said she doesnt have any future with me...what should i do to save our 2,5 year relationship?im so desperated and regretful for this mistake, i love her so much. Its been 2 weeks now since break up Most people who like to find such excitement when they are bored, do cross the boundaries at a certain point. Having heard that story too often. So in honesty I really cannot blame her. Add the fact that you lied, a big nono. If you want that kind of excitement or distraction do not enter a relationship, or one that is open for both of you. Sorry, I really do not see a way to fix this. There also are enough things to do when we are bored other than this, heck why not read a book, I can recommend it.
Author Ocdraun Posted December 31, 2015 Author Posted December 31, 2015 Thank you for all of the feedbacks, yes being in her position i would react the same. Actualy she finds out when im playing games next to her, yes we are living together. She needs a file that we've been working on together (business project), so i told her to open it herself because we know each other passwords for a long time. When she opens the inbox she saw this a lot of spams from the dateapps and ask me whats all of this, i was freaked out for a seconds and i think to myself "oh no, she gonna be thinking bad about this", so i got panicked and spontaneously lied to her that i dont use the apps, its auto registered. She keeps checking the profile and ask me again, and i keep denying until she finaly got angry to me and start packing her things. From the last months there was this spam from other apps in my inbox, i click once of the invitation and its automaticly sign me up with my facebook profile, i thought this and categorize this as an auto registered method, and its impossible to terminate the account because it keeps showing up my profile. So that night i was without any guilt and burden googling some funny facts about spam method, fake bots, and any other marketing techniques to sell the date apps, thats why on that night i was specificly install only apps that listed only from the source of webdatingscams. I also explains this on the day she got angry but i know its already too late. She is 22 and im 34, i have a dark past that i shared to her when we were still in love back ago. I just want to let her know my past (cheating) because i have nothing to hide and we trust each other back ago. But during our relationship, theres plenty of events and fights involving trust issues. I dont blame her,its my own fault telling her i was a cheater before. Maybe this is one of many factors that influence our relationships. She said she still loves me,and me too. But she wants to move on and cant continue anymore. I hope this explains more. Thanks again for all the feedbacks, really appreciate it. Sorry for bad grammar
Itspointless Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Hi Ocdraun, it is a shame, but I think honesty is always the best solution in situations like these. Nothing wrong that you told your history to her, I actually find that strong. That makes me actually think that she spared you more heartache, as apparently she did not trust you anyway. Better look for someone who is more emotionally mature: our past forms us, it does not prescribe what we do with that form though. Best wishes for 2016 1
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