weirdfishes Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 5 Years broke up with me, out of no where. He says he basically doesn't know if the relationship was right for him and he couldnt see a future between us anymore, and he feels like there is something else out there for him. I told him I thought it was best if we did not contact each other in order for me to get over him; he agreed but then continued to send messages such as "how's your day" etc about once a day. As this wasnt stopping I asked him to come over my place last night to talk about everything. He told me he agrees its best we dont try and hang out or talk as he has been talking to other women and doesnt want me to get upset if I knew that, which I agreed and said yes, that is why I have asked him to stop contacting me. I made him delete my number and I deleted him from social media. We said our final goodbyes (he cried) and then he drove off. Now today I get a random facebook message from him asking me if I want to train at the gym with him. I didnt reply, I went to the gym (he normally doesnt train at the gym I go to) anyway he shows up there and keeps trying to look at me but I dont make eye contact. I'm so confused as he agreed to not contact eachother but it's as if he cant stop? He is the one who wanted to end the relationship yet he tells me he dreams of me every night and thinks of me every day. He has recently started taking extra gym "supplements" which I dont know if that is causing him to want to get out of the relationship and be single so he can do what he wants with who he wants or have these mood swings, but I just want to know if anyone has any input on what they think is going on here? If anyone has been in a similar situation? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 My honest take is that he is already seeing someone but not sure if it will work out so he's keeping you on the back-burner. Sudden breakup + I'm talking to other women + breadcrumb messages = sketchy. I would not be surprised if he started talking to someone else before he broke up with you. Block him on FB and ignore him in person. He's disrespecting your boundaries here. And no, gym "supplements" (I'm assuming you mean steroids?) don't make someone suddenly want to be single. Mood swings, sure. But a sudden desire for singledom? No, there's a lot more to his choice than that. 3
PegNosePete Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 You have asked multiple times for him to respect your decision not to be "friends" and not to continue contact. And despite agreeing to your request, on multiple occasions he has disrespected your polite and very reasonable request. There comes a time when you just have to woman up, and tell him, "look, just F off, I am not interested in ever talking to you ever again!!!" Maybe then he will get the message. 2
Author weirdfishes Posted December 30, 2015 Author Posted December 30, 2015 Yeah, thank you for your responses. I agree with this. It's just making me hold onto a tiny bit of hope and I just want to move on and try and be happy again. He hasn't messaged me yet after I avoided him at the gym so hopefully he got the message. If not I know what I have to do! 1
Carl Carlson Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Totally agree with the other posters. He felt "like there is something else out there for him", and this feeling was strong enough for him to break up with you. Now he reaches out for you again. Shouldn't he have made up his mind BEFORE the breakup? If he realized he made a mistake, he should swallow his pride, beg for forgiveness, and explain why this is never going to happen again. It's up to you then if you give him another chance or not. Otherwise, he's just playing games. Don't fall for them, keep ignoring him. If he keeps showing up at the gym, tell him straight away that you feel uncomfortable about it, and remind him of him breaking up and him agreeing to stop contacting you.
Samhain Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 "Hanging on to a tiny bit of hope" is exactly what he wants you to do, even though he has no intention of ever being in a committed relationship with you again. The majority of the time when one partner comes out with the "I feel like I'm missing out/there's something else out there for me" line, there is already a member of the opposite sex involved in the equation. He is dangling carrots in front of you so you don't forget him just in case his new conquests don't work out for him. In this time he doesn't want you to move on (extremely selfish and disrespectful). Remember, he won't be committed with you again so the grains of hope he is leaving you clinging to are false. I agree with an above poster, get yourself together and tell him to f off once and for all.
Recommended Posts