buddha84 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I know there are post like this all the time, but I just wanted to offer my 2 cents about the process and why you should remain optimistic if you remain active. Long Story Short: 4 year relationship - moved in for the last year - ex broke up with me right before July 4th. A lot of confusion - said she needed to work on herself and wanted to take a break. A lot of fighting and blaming me for things, going back and forth. Then I find out that she had been cheating on me for months before our breakup. Then she started bring the guy over after dropping breadcrumbs for the me the previous day. Kept emailing, bargaining, texting, blocking, feeling depressed, etc. etc. Then when I was walking one day, the realization hit me: I don't deserve this. It's more of a feeling. So I went out, I worked out, I met new people, started a band, and you know what? I don't want my ex back - I don't want to give up my NEW life. Being single can be GREAT! You can now work on yourself and make yourself better. Remember all those fights, all the people you might have ignored to spend time with your gf/bf? Now you can see where those people will take you. She still claims she "loves" me, and hopes that someday we can be "friends" - but really. If you break up with someone because it's just not working, then maybe - but if someone cheats on you and disrespects you, cut them out of your life. I know it seems like they are the "one" and "perfect" for you, but you are just attached and fearful of being alone. You will meet someone new, and probably better for you because you are now able to focus on what you like and your hobbies. I did this - I met someone who is into the same music as me, older, same movies, and just a way more similar personality. Sometimes, after you have gotten used to this life you've been living for years, you forget how many awesome people there are out there. If someone cheats/dumps you, let them live with the regret and loss. You will have to grieve and have some bad moments, but as long as you keep trying to get out there and meet new people, even just friends, you will do better. When I was with my ex, I just couldn't seem to get a promotion or move forward. She broke up with me and within a month, I got a promotion at a top downtown hotel. I did like 4-5 recordings the WHOLE time I dated my ex. After we broke up, I did 50 in a month and played guitar for hours - now I'm starting a band and this has led me to an awesome drummer (who is a female, which my ex would have never approved of). I gained 50lbs with my ex and was hitting 200lbs - we broke up, I worked out, got down to 160ish and in shape. What can happen after a breakup, is you don't even know who you are - you have to rebuild and rediscover yourself, sometimes. Just remember, your relationship was a learning experience, and now that it's over, you are wiser and can empathize better - what doesn't destroy you can only make you stronger! This has never been truer before, because our suffering makes us wiser and a breakup can lead to a new and improved you! 5
Recommended Posts