mrwigand Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I'm 28, but my ex-gf was my first love, if you forgive using such an over-sentimentalized term. But I was wondering... Would you say it takes longer to get over your "first love"? It's been a while since my relationship ended and 6 months since I was able to go NC (I had to maintain contact with my ex-gf for a while because she owed me money, and that process was pretty drawn-out and painful). In addition to being my "first love" if you will, my ex-gf was diagnosed borderline personality disorder. At best the relationship was passionate and intense, at worst it was invalidating, miserable, chaotic, and in general I was just subjected to some deeply unfair treatment. I was kind of put in the middle of a toxic triangle that really hurt me. I'm not angry anymore. My ex asked for forgiveness for some things, and I tried to make amends for any mistakes I made. I truly wish her the best. I'm doing really well personally and professionally, but I can't deny that I haven't let go of some of that pain. For instance, my ex and I will be attending the same New Year's Eve party this year (it's a close mutual friend we both have). And the thought of running into her and talking to her... I don't know, it still evokes a lot of emotion in me, anxiety, sadness I guess. I was wondering if anyone had any perspectives? Is this just the way it goes, probably with any serious relationship, but perhaps more so with your first love, and perhaps even more so if the relationship was toxic?
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