Ryan_XD Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Just wanted to get some opinions on them. Do they last? What's your experiences with them? I ask, because I've just found out my ex has just been finished by her boyfriend. She got with him just a few weeks after leaving our 4 year relationship. I personally, wouldn't entertain the idea of getting with a woman who has just recently come out of a relationship. I think you need time to heal and grieve and spend sometime with yourself, I cannot understand why people HAVE to be in a relationship and as soon as they leave one jump straight into another.
Sar112 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 In my experience - no. Of course there will always be exceptions, but in general these people are used to 'fill a void' that the recent ex used to fill. I've had two ex's jump quickly into things after we broke up but I needn't have worried - both only lasted a few months if that. Anyone who has been in a serious relationship knows that the residual feelings after you break up last for quite some time - they don't mean you can't go out and have fun but I do think they mean that you are stopped from being able to fully commit to someone else for some time afterwards. People who do this baffle me - IMO you need to learn to love yourself again and spend some time alone (whether you are the dumper or dumpee) in these situations.
d0nnivain Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Some do. Most don't. I got dumped & took up with a new guy the next day. It was initially FWB but it turned into 10 years. I'd say it lasted. It really depends on the people. Any relationship that is based on filing a void rather than being connected to the other person is doomed though IMO 2
Nickr3023 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 My ex left me for a guy and they're getting married. I just got out of a relationship with a girl that was very recently separated from a 9 year marriage....we lasted for about a year. It all depends on many factors, just like anything else in this world. There are no absolutes.
Blanco Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Well, nothing really lasts, but I get your drift. Generally speaking, they don't seem to, but I've known examples of ones that at least make it as far as "standard" relationships. Last girlfriend was in a new relationship less than two months after we ended a three-year relationship that involved co-habitation and children. He was divorcing from a long marriage, has kids of his own. On paper, you'd say, "No freaking way," but they're still together nearly a year later. (I assume) There's really no catch-all answer to this. The type of people involved, the circumstances, etc. all make a difference. In my ex's case, she can pretty easily attract quality guys, and she is a serial monogamist (really never completely unattached since she started dating in high school), so she seems capable of going from one multi-year relationship to the next seamlessly and quickly. I don't know the guy, but I would suspect he finds some comfort in a familiar setting (exclusive relationship with family dynamics) after 20 years of marriage. So who knows, maybe they'll make it? I and most people who knew her thought it wouldn't make it more than a few months, but perhaps their respective circumstances actually make a long-lasting relationship feasible.
buddha84 Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 It's best to not care if they do or don't. I know this is not the answer one is probably looking for, but once someone dumps (and especially if they cheated or started a new relationship right away) it's best to move on. It will never be the same if they do come back, and checking on/hoping their relationship fails will only keep the wounds fresh. I've been in this situation, and you know what - I know hope she gets married and becomes pregnant. I hope she is stuck with this guy - because I now have tons of options, and she is just in an overlapping relationship where she never learned to be single. Would I want to be with someone who bounces from relationship to relationship and never works on themselves? Someone who you talk to, and they are still the same, while you have been single and grown exponentially in your career and personal life? I would hope not! It'll sting for a while when someone does this, but it's best to find someone better for yourself, but don't be desperate. Personally, friends are better than significant others any day, if you ask me. They will still be there when the person leaves you and stomps all over your heart, and they will help you find yourself again. 5
Recommended Posts