Is it okay for my mother to get involved in an argument between my boyfriend and I?

[MiaMckenz]

My boyfriend and I got into an argument 2 days ago, which didn't end well. In a nutshell, we were over his sister's house just hanging out and I told him that we had to leave around 1 am because I'm currently watching my friends dog who is a puppy so she needs to be taken out quite often. Knowing my situation, he basically said he's not leaving and we went back and forth in front of his 2 siblings. I don't mind if we argue when we're alone, but the fact that he started an argument in front of his siblings shows no respect for me. So after the movie we were watching ended, he agreed but he saw that i was still mad. I was more embarrassed than mad. So then he refused to take me home until I gave him a kiss and made things better, but i refused to do that for the reason that reason stated above. From there he told me that he's not taking me home and then he went back to where his sisters were in the living room and said that i'm always trying to get my way (which isn't the case at all!!), and said some other stuff. Why would he do that?? Our business is between us and no one else. He didn't care if i heard everything he said either as i was close by, just not in the living room with them. So I ended up calling my mom to come pick me up to take me home so i can take care of my friends puppy. I analyzed this situation in every angle, and I don't see how i'm wrong. I even asked for advice, and they don't see how i'm wrong either. We have not spoken since then.

Whevener i'm wrong, I always let him know that i'm sorry, but this time I know i'm not. My mother wants to reach out to him to talk to him about the situation. Should She? She has never done this before ad she really does like him for me.

[VeveCakes]

No she shouldn't contact him.

 

Why wouldn't he take you home when you asked? That is a bigger concern for me. I would never accept someone treating me that way.

[Jimmyjackson]

No, it's between the two of you. Your mother isn't in the relationship, you are though.

[Wewon]

No, unless your boyfriend is being abusive in some way she should stay out of it.

 

Him being an uncooperative a**hole is no need for you to bring in reinforcements.

[dobielover]

No, she needs to stay out of it. And, you shouldn't have told her why you needed her help.

 

Never tell your friends or family about the petty crap you fight with your SO about. They never remember the good stuff, only the bad, and will hold it over your head.

 

AND for the same reason you didn't appreciate him fighting with you in front of his sisters, you shouldn't fight with him behind his back to your mom.

[Standard-Fare]

Echoing what others have said - no, there's no good reason for your mother to get involved here. Definitely prevent that from happening.

 

The story you've told her paints your boyfriend as very immature and self-centered. I almost feel like we're missing something here, because I can't imagine how his behavior could be justified. It'd be interesting to hear his version of this story.

 

I'm wondering if calling your mother was a melodramatic move on your part. From your story that action seems necessary. But I'm wondering if more reasonable options were on the table for you at that point, when calling in your mom would obviously heighten the drama.

[ExpatInItaly]

My boyfriend and I got into an argument 2 days ago, which didn't end well. In a nutshell, we were over his sister's house just hanging out and I told him that we had to leave around 1 am because I'm currently watching my friends dog who is a puppy so she needs to be taken out quite often. Knowing my situation, he basically said he's not leaving and we went back and forth in front of his 2 siblings. I don't mind if we argue when we're alone, but the fact that he started an argument in front of his siblings shows no respect for me. So after the movie we were watching ended, he agreed but he saw that i was still mad. I was more embarrassed than mad. So then he refused to take me home until I gave him a kiss and made things better, but i refused to do that for the reason that reason stated above. From there he told me that he's not taking me home and then he went back to where his sisters were in the living room and said that i'm always trying to get my way (which isn't the case at all!!), and said some other stuff. Why would he do that?? Our business is between us and no one else. He didn't care if i heard everything he said either as i was close by, just not in the living room with them. So I ended up calling my mom to come pick me up to take me home so i can take care of my friends puppy. I analyzed this situation in every angle, and I don't see how i'm wrong. I even asked for advice, and they don't see how i'm wrong either. We have not spoken since then.

Whevener i'm wrong, I always let him know that i'm sorry, but this time I know i'm not. My mother wants to reach out to him to talk to him about the situation. Should She? She has never done this before ad she really does like him for me.

 

You've already answered your own question.

 

But no, she should not. You can't very well argue your point and have him listen to you if you turn around and do the very thing that you're angry at him for.

[xcupid]

Your mother shouldn't interfere at all. This has to be resolved between you and your BF.

[Gaeta]

After what he's done to you she likes him??

 

Your boyfriend is controlling and manipulative. Please dump him.

 

No your mom should not get involved, not for this. You're capable of dumping the selfish boyfriend on your own.

[stillafool]

TBH, no your mother shouldn't get involved and you need to start handling these situations on your own. You tell her what's going on between you and your bf and then you come here to do the same. You are not okay with the way he treated you so what are YOU going to do about it?

[Maggie4]

Sounds like your mother's involvement would be to try to patch things up between you two? She doesn't like seeing you not talk to each other, and she has no intention of taking your side, right?

I think he was wrong for leaving you without transportation. That's a betrayal of your trust. If I were you, that would be the last time I'd ever accept a ride from him again. Because the next time he might leave you by the side of a highway at 1am.

[d0nnivain]

Him airing dirty laundry in front of his siblings wasn't good. You involving your mother would make the whole situation that much worse.

 

 

If mom can't simply be your sounding board without offering to fight your battles for you, stop confiding in mom.

[kendahke]

Keep anyone who isn't in the relationship out of it. You need to handle this, not her. You're grown and she can't do anything about the situation.

 

Here's what I told my daughter a long, long time ago: always have cab fare home so that if you need to leave, you are not at the mercy of anyone. That or have Uber or Lyft apps at the ready on your phone.

 

If you're dating an imbecile who wants to power struggle in front of his sisters, you can call a cab and go. And on the way home, give some serious thought to the wisdom in dating someone who is so manipulative and childish as he is. I can't see how that is an attractive quality in any grown man.