Nuts_or_Not Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I finally got a shot at the girl of my dreams after 2 years of knowing her, she wasn't ready for a relationship last year by I was persistent, she finally accepted and I have no idea where it went wrong. We hit it off from day one, I was gun shy about opening up so I held back. On the 1st date she told me she was mentally abused for 10 years from her ex and she was free from him for the past 5 years though they sometimes talk. We spent 8 days together (saw her 4 out of those 8 days) and they were fantastic. I'm 44 and she was 35, we were intimate but no sex and she would tell me things like no one ever treated me so well in her life, that she was so happy, she misses my kisses, thanks for giving her a 2nd chance because she can be stubborn, she would initiate most of the texts and always ended them with xoxoxo. The last night we were together we were kissing and I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said no way. About 1 to 2 hours later I left and spoke with her in the morning with no sign of anything wrong. 6 hrs later she texted me telling me that this relationship wasn't working for her because of a feeling, telling me what a wonderful man I was and don't change, thanking me for choosing her and that I will always have a place in her heart. I reached out to her a couple times and she responded and then I called her and left a message, she then sent me a text saying "no thank you" she didn't even know what I was going to ask. Since then I have not reached out to her (4 weeks) and I haven't heard a thing. She might be seeing someone else but I have no proof. I think she was falling for me and got scared that she would get hurt because of her past. I can't seem to get her out of my mind and really don't know if I should do. How can someone be so happy one day and shut if off the next day, then never contact me again? Don't understand...
smackie9 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Emotional attachment can be mistaken for romantic interest. My guess is she realized she wasn't sexually attracted to you, so she moved on.
Author Nuts_or_Not Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 Thank You for your opinion but I disagree. If she wasn't sexually attracted to me then why when I asked her if she wanted me to leave the last night I was with her she said no way and continued to passionately kiss me?
katiegrl Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I finally got a shot at the girl of my dreams after 2 years of knowing her, she wasn't ready for a relationship last year by I was persistent, she finally accepted and I have no idea where it went wrong. We hit it off from day one, I was gun shy about opening up so I held back. On the 1st date she told me she was mentally abused for 10 years from her ex and she was free from him for the past 5 years though they sometimes talk. We spent 8 days together (saw her 4 out of those 8 days) and they were fantastic. I'm 44 and she was 35, we were intimate but no sex and she would tell me things like no one ever treated me so well in her life, that she was so happy, she misses my kisses, thanks for giving her a 2nd chance because she can be stubborn, she would initiate most of the texts and always ended them with xoxoxo. The last night we were together we were kissing and I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said no way. About 1 to 2 hours later I left and spoke with her in the morning with no sign of anything wrong. 6 hrs later she texted me telling me that this relationship wasn't working for her because of a feeling, telling me what a wonderful man I was and don't change, thanking me for choosing her and that I will always have a place in her heart. I reached out to her a couple times and she responded and then I called her and left a message, she then sent me a text saying "no thank you" she didn't even know what I was going to ask. Since then I have not reached out to her (4 weeks) and I haven't heard a thing. She might be seeing someone else but I have no proof. I think she was falling for me and got scared that she would get hurt because of her past. I can't seem to get her out of my mind and really don't know if I should do. How can someone be so happy one day and shut if off the next day, then never contact me again? Don't understand... Why would she be afraid of getting hurt when she admitted herself you are nothing like her abusive ex.... instead telling you that you are wonderful, no man ever treated her so well.. blah blah... and thanked you for choosing her? She wasn't afraid of getting hurt (by you)....she has been conditioned to feel attraction for men who are a*sholes, treat her like shyt and abuse her.... you are the opposite of that, and therefore she did not feel as attracted to you as she did to her ex, despite his abuse, and thought it best to stop seeing you. As for why she continued to kiss you, who knows, but clearly she changed her mind in those six hours in between, so probably best you just move on and find someone else. She also may be considering going back to her ex since that type of relationship is what she is familiar with... and obviously drawn to, even though she knows in her heart it's bad for her and not healthy.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Perhaps this ex has come back into the picture
smackie9 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 like I said she got caught up emotionally, then realized she wasn't truly honest with how she felt. Been there done that. Flip flop. And yes it's also possible the ex had contacted her again. It happens.
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