sickofyou Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 I don't know what to think about this but it's strange to me. Was engaged to my ex and a week before Thanksgiving I found out she was cheating on me. Now she and the guy are together and she makes it a point to tell our mutual friends how happy she is etc etc. However since this, she has attempted to contact me by phone, I never answer. She never leaves a message. She's also unblocked me on both facebook and instagram as well as tried to get a mutual female friend of ours to snoop around with nosey questions. I know my ex, when she doesn't get her way she reciprocates with over the top acts. Since he unsuccessful attempts to gain information or to speak with me, she decided to further rub it in my face regarding him by more pics and obvious orchestrated comments on certain pics about her few weeks of "happiness". She also saves pins on my pintrest. I stopped following her but apparently she's still following me. My question is what the h*ll is she up to or what does she want. She's so "happy " then be happy, go away, do whatever juat forget about me. I'm confused as to what she wants and I do not wish to speak to her because I already know how it will go....badly. This is a woman who I suspect of having BPD, she has all the symptoms and behaviors of someone that suffers from the disorder. What's ironic is the samething she is doing to him regarding me is the exact same types of things she did to me. She woukd seek her exes and talk to them while with me. Any idea? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Hi, You need to advise posters of your ex's past history. You mentioned that you thought she was BPD, but not that she had affaired why down, and when a minor a cutter. Try for pure 180, never respond. Research the term Grey Rocking. It s a technique for dealing with BDP. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 When someone has to go out of there way to inform someone that they're happy, it usually means the opposite. If she unblocked you on instagram and Facebook, then you need to block her. Why is she rubbing your nose with this other guy? Because you're not responding to her. So, she wants to hurt you because she's angry. So, block her. You'll be happier when you do. Then, start working on yourself. Make positive changes in your life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickofyou Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 When someone has to go out of there way to inform someone that they're happy, it usually means the opposite. If she unblocked you on instagram and Facebook, then you need to block her. Why is she rubbing your nose with this other guy? Because you're not responding to her. So, she wants to hurt you because she's angry. So, block her. You'll be happier when you do. Then, start working on yourself. Make positive changes in your life. I thought about blocking her but her seeing my page doesn't bother me. Yes, she's mad so now she will try to get at me somehow. I feel like I'm dealing with a teenager. All of her "happiness" and "relationship " seems orchestrated so I don't doubt that it's the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickofyou Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 Hi, You need to advise posters of your ex's past history. You mentioned that you thought she was BPD, but not that she had affaired why down, and when a minor a cutter. Try for pure 180, never respond. Research the term Grey Rocking. It s a technique for dealing with BDP. Some years ago she would cut herself. She acts on impulse without thinking. Seems to always have to have a guy at hand for when I was unavailable or she chose to ignore me for days on end without talking out our problems. Can go from zero to 200 mph in a snap over spilled milk. Link to post Share on other sites
buddha84 Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 I had an ex who did something somewhat similar. What she did though, was bring the guy over frequently after we broke up - one day she loves me and is giving me a present, we are hugging - next day he is over staying the night. Moral of the story - breaking up while living together sucks! As far as rubbing it in someones face about how happy you are - I think that since she cheated, it is pretty dumb to try to rub it in your face. I'd block her if she is doing that. I myself have sent my ex an email or two rubbing stuff in her face - just because she put me through hell! I met a girl who can play drums, started a band, and now have girls coming up and wanting to get to know me all the time. My ex thought she could do better - better being the maintenance guy at her work who is 10 years older and doesn't even have a college education. I'm educated, in a band now, got a job promotions, have made tons of friends, and just felt like letting her know (because I do still get angry that she could disrespect me like that) that my life is way better without her and I'm so glad I didn't marry her. I also let her know that I would never be with her or date her again. After you get out there, start meeting new people and making new friends, you will often realize that those ****ty BPD (my ex was BPD 2) people aren't worth the stress. If someone cheats on you and does stuff like my ex did, making their life hell and full of regret can be a pleasure (at least for me). You just need to make sure to block her. Don't try to reason things or even think about it much - meet new women, and make new friends. A breakup can either be something that destroys you, or something that makes you stronger and takes you to new levels that you could never reach when you were with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 When someone has to go out of there way to inform someone that they're happy, it usually means the opposite. This needed to be said again. Also, just stay away. Best, absolute best thing you can do, as hard as it may be, is to work on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Exercise makes it easier for the other two to follow. The brain/heart will destroy your body and spirit if you let them. Take comfort that people posting/expressing how "happy" they are almost always means they're miserable. But don't dwell on it. Move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 She's probably trying to see if you've moved on and is trying to prove to you (indirectly) at least that she has. This doesn't mean she cares about your, or even misses you. For people who play games like that it's a combination of narcissism and competition. She doesn't want you to be happier without her. Anyway your best bet is to keep ignoring her. Which probably drives her nuts more than anything (especially if she does have some type of personality disorder). You'll give yourself a headache trying to psychoanalyze someone who cheated on you and you aren't together with anymore anyway. Just be grateful she's someone else's problem and you didn't get married, let alone have kids with her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
buddha84 Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Just be grateful she's someone else's problem and you didn't get married, let alone have kids with her. Amen! That is so true! After you heal some, you will start to realize this. Who would want to marry someone after they cheated on them or even be with them. They've already shown how important you are by placing you on the backburner. I now spend my days jamming guitar with a super COOL female drummer, jamming with my other friends, reading, laughing with my coworkers. If I was with my ex, it would still be all her issues all the time - with her also pushing me to be in a career where I can make more money so we could "have a house" and "kids". Those things are great, but I want to live my life, you know?! Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 BLOCK HER. The fact you are not blocking her, checking up her comments and pinister or w.e BS it's called and come on here and talk about it...shows you clearly care to know what's up. It is very simply but when people go through a breakup they don't realize it. She is going out of her way to do w.e she can do best. Thing is, you are not going to get back together with her so why even waste a thought on her. Block her and never have to worry about it. Your situation is such that you two can't be together because she has been screwing up someone else...and unless you want to be a dormat then you know better to not go back to that. So no matter what answer you get on here, or from her friend....even if your ex was miserable and wanted to get back with you ...you two would not be able to start where you left off. Too much has happened, too many things that hurt you and other people involved. One day, hopefully not long from now, you will find someone that you will like again, date, love and enjoy to have around. You will look back and realize that you wasted precious time on someone that was very ****ty to you. The sooner you get to that point, the happier you will be trust me on this. Link to post Share on other sites
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