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The Art of Seduction

Stephanie91

By Stephanie91
in General Relationship Discussion

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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My friend and I were talking about various ways to keep your man interested/come back for more or what makes them choose you over and over again. Among the things that I mentioned was taking care of your physical appearance, learn to be great at sex, having great cooking skills, being adventurous, considerate, be supportive to your man/being his cheerleader, not leaning in too much, develop seductive vocabulary...Any inputs? Interesting viewpoints on the subject? What are some tricks and tips you guy have that make your man melt/guys what made you super attracted to your woman?

GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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Be yourself.

 

That's the best aphrodisiac. There are no magic tricks to keep a guy interested.

 

If a guy doesn't love you for who you really are, he's not the one.

Edited by GingerVixen
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ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

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So, you want tricks and tips? How long do you plan to spin those before you start just being yourself?

 

My cooking skills are moderate, and that's that! :laugh:

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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* Find a hobby you're passionate about

 

* Find time to do volunteer work

 

* Be loyal to your friends

 

* Be generous and considerate to your parents and family

 

I don't believe in being the best girlfriend you can be but in being the best human being you can be. A man can be a terrific boyfriend but if he is indifferent to the world around him, if he has no life outside of me, if he can't be a kind and generous human being toward others, then I don't want him.

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GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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So, you want tricks and tips? How long do you plan to spin those before you start just being yourself?

 

My cooking skills are moderate, and that's that! :laugh:

 

I have a friend who told me what made him fall in love with his wife... He said it was her bluntness.

 

He said that he loved chocolate cake, and that he would love if she baked him one. Then she said : "If you need a chocolate cake to be happy with me, you will be unhappy forever because my dear, I can't even boil an egg and I have no intentions of doing so!"

 

He said he loved her honesty and her bold personality.

 

You don't need to play the role of the perfect woman- just be yourself, if he is the right guy he will love your true self.

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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being yourself is a great advice when being yourself works. Honestly, most people need to improve on so many levels, including me, so being myself may not always be the most seductive thing. I am not saying to be fake or to act around the guy you like, but every woman has her own little tricks and technique of attraction, I am sure....

for example, if you're naturally clingy/neurotic/easily angered or emotional, then I don't think being yourself is a good idea. In fact, you might want to watch your behavior before seeing him and gradually change. I do believe seduction is an art, like those women in long-term relationships who manage to make their men fall for them every day...now how they do that remains a mystery...maybe they constantly change/evolve, try new things, always keep the sparks alive...whatever the secret is, there are women like that and I wish I was one of them...to know how to be attractive, and I am not talking about looking like a Victoria Secret model

Edited by Stephanie91
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GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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being yourself is a great advice when being yourself works. Honestly, most people need to improve on so many levels, including me, so being myself may not always be the most seductive thing. I am not saying to be fake or to act around the guy you like, but every woman has her own little tricks and technique of attraction, I am sure....

 

Well if you're not satisfied with who you really are, and you're looking for self improvement.. I totally support that.

 

However, I WILL NEVER support the idea of trying to be a perfect woman in order to keep a guy interested. This idea sounds like those horrible women's magazines from the 50s that had headlines like "Bake a cake that will make him fall in love with you!". It honestly makes me cringe.

 

Look for self improvement, not for seduction tips. If you have worked on improving yourself, on becoming a better person, you will exude confidence and you will automatically attract men and keep them interested. Do not change only for the sake of making men interested, this is not genuine and never works.

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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speaking of which, do you guys think beauty/sexual attraction is a promise of personal success?

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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Gingerixen, I absolutely support your femministic approach to modern relationships, however, "bake a cake to win the guy" still works unfortunately...at least for many guys. They still look for someone as a full package, unless they never intend to be with her long term...they prefer her to be sexy, be good at cooking, bring some money on the table, want kids and be a good parent, be their friend, support them, bond with them, get along with their relatives...a super woman in other words which is impossible to be I guess...or maybe if you really try...:D

GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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Gingerixen, I absolutely support your femministic approach to modern relationships, however, "bake a cake to win the guy" still works unfortunately...at least for many guys. They still look for someone as a full package, unless they never intend to be with her long term...they prefer her to be sexy, be good at cooking, bring some money on the table, want kids and be a good parent, be their friend, support them, bond with them, get along with their relatives...a super woman in other words which is impossible to be I guess...or maybe if you really try...:D

 

 

If you're really for traditional gender roles, men are the providers, not women. (And I don't believe in that, btw)

 

But anyway, I don't even consider myself a feminist, in a way that I believe in equal rights but I am not activist or anything like that.

 

I am not even talking about feminism. I am talking about self conciousness, dignity and being who you really are.

 

That works for men, too. I find it pathetic when women try to change a man in a relationship - the way he dresses, the way he talks, etc. If she met him acting and dressing that way, she has to accept that. A woman must love a man for who he really is.

 

A man must love a woman for who she really is.

 

Otherwise, we will only be façades falling in love with other façades. Now that would be a very sad world to live in.

Wewon Established Member

Wewon

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My friend and I were talking about various ways to keep your man interested/come back for more or what makes them choose you over and over again. Among the things that I mentioned was taking care of your physical appearance, learn to be great at sex, having great cooking skills, being adventurous, considerate, be supportive to your man/being his cheerleader, not leaning in too much, develop seductive vocabulary...Any inputs? Interesting viewpoints on the subject? What are some tricks and tips you guy have that make your man melt/guys what made you super attracted to your woman?

 

As a man, one thing that I've noticed is that women put a lot of emphasis on sex and very little on just enjoying his company. I dated a woman that was a goddess in the sack, but she thought all of my interest were stupid and spent most of the relationship letting me know it.

 

Compatibility is extremely important, everything else is moot if you are anot seeing eye-to-eye on a lot of the basic things.

  • Like 5
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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* Find a hobby you're passionate about

 

* Find time to do volunteer work

 

* Be loyal to your friends

 

* Be generous and considerate to your parents and family

 

I don't believe in being the best girlfriend you can be but in being the best human being you can be. A man can be a terrific boyfriend but if he is indifferent to the world around him, if he has no life outside of me, if he can't be a kind and generous human being toward others, then I don't want him.

 

 

Couldn't have said it better.

 

And also extending your generosity to him is also important.

 

The fact I am kind to my bf and about others tends to enhance his feelings towards me.

 

Men who are only into you when you are aloof and un giving towards than aren't into you; they are into your body and looks and unavailability makes the chase thrilling for them it's not real love.

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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If you're really for traditional gender roles, men are the providers, not women. (And I don't believe in that, btw)

 

But anyway, I don't even consider myself a feminist, in a way that I believe in equal rights but I am not activist or anything like that.

 

I am not even talking about feminism. I am talking about self conciousness, dignity and being who you really are.

 

That works for men, too. I find it pathetic when women try to change a man in a relationship - the way he dresses, the way he talks, etc. If she met him acting and dressing that way, she has to accept that. A woman must love a man for who he really is.

 

A man must love a woman for who she really is.

 

Otherwise, we will only be façades falling in love with other façades. Now that would be a very sad world to live in.

You make a fair point, however, haven't you changed yourself/improved perhaps for a certain job or school? To fit in? We all have...so why not treat your relationship, at least during the beginning stages like a dream job or dream school you so badly want to get into and consider using some tricks? You don't betray your true self if you want to improve a little, same baking is not that awful, it could actually be fun if you give it a try and also feel more accomplished for learning something new...just a thought.

Samhain Established Member

Samhain

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You had me at cooking skills... Our heart is through our stomach after all. And sex means little without emotion, even for men. Sure we can do no strings release. But it's different.

 

If ya make me laugh and we get along, that'd mean more to me than someone who was good in bed, because that would come naturally after a connection.

GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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You make a fair point, however, haven't you changed yourself/improved perhaps for a certain job or school? To fit in? We all have...so why not treat your relationship, at least during the beginning stages like a dream job or dream school you so badly want to get into and consider using some tricks? You don't betray your true self if you want to improve a little, same baking is not that awful, it could actually be fun if you give it a try and also feel more accomplished for learning something new...just a thought.

 

I have never changed myself for any kind of job or school. I have improved myself because I wanted to become a better person. Nothing to do with external factors.

 

I think you can try to spice up the relationship but the way you put it sounds like the woman should become a superwoman in order to keep a guy interested. That's not the point. If a woman hates to cook, let her hate to cook! She doesn't have to learn anything only to keep a guy interested.

 

Moreover... All relationships are two-sided... I cringe when I see magazines trying to teach a woman how to keep a relationship alive, but why is that nobody is trying to teach men how to keep a relationship alive too? Why is that we have to make all the effort??? Why is that we're the only ones who should spice up the relationship?

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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I have never changed myself for any kind of job or school. I have improved myself because I wanted to become a better person. Nothing to do with external factors.

 

I think you can try to spice up the relationship but the way you put it sounds like the woman should become a superwoman in order to keep a guy interested. That's not the point. If a woman hates to cook, let her hate to cook! She doesn't have to learn anything only to keep a guy interested.

 

Moreover... All relationships are two-sided... I cringe when I see magazines trying to teach a woman how to keep a relationship alive, but why is that nobody is trying to teach men how to keep a relationship alive too? Why is that we have to make all the effort??? Why is that we're the only ones who should spice up the relationship?

Completely agree with you on this one, however, hello real world, most men want the superwoman I had described above and they do cheat on you when you don't meet the "criteria" with someone who does...sad reality

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Stephanie91 Established Member

Stephanie91

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You had me at cooking skills... Our heart is through our stomach after all. And sex means little without emotion, even for men. Sure we can do no strings release. But it's different.

 

If ya make me laugh and we get along, that'd mean more to me than someone who was good in bed, because that would come naturally after a connection.

Cooking is big, and not just for men. I love food a lot, though can't really tell by my body type, but cooking also saves money and it's kind of like a way to show how much you care for your guy. Because you put all that effort, the time and energy to prepare a special meal, set the table, Idk, I think it's cute...and useful skill to have. I am not a great cook myself but at least I try...I don't just say oh i hate it and deal with it as I won't change...

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Completely agree with you on this one, however, hello real world, most men want the superwoman I had described above and they do cheat on you when you don't meet the "criteria" with someone who does...sad reality

 

 

Plenty of men married with perfect wives. They are cordon bleu, good in bed, classy, intelligent, and their husband still cheat on them most of the time with classless tramps.

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Wewon Established Member

Wewon

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Moreover... All relationships are two-sided... I cringe when I see magazines trying to teach a woman how to keep a relationship alive, but why is that nobody is trying to teach men how to keep a relationship alive too? Why is that we have to make all the effort??? Why is that we're the only ones who should spice up the relationship?

 

Uhmm, not true at all.

 

I could flood the page with links to articles telling men all of the things that they have to do to make women happy.

 

I think it comes down to what we want to see.

  • Like 1
Samhain Established Member

Samhain

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I have never changed myself for any kind of job or school. I have improved myself because I wanted to become a better person. Nothing to do with external factors.

 

I think you can try to spice up the relationship but the way you put it sounds like the woman should become a superwoman in order to keep a guy interested. That's not the point. If a woman hates to cook, let her hate to cook! She doesn't have to learn anything only to keep a guy interested.

 

Moreover... All relationships are two-sided... I cringe when I see magazines trying to teach a woman how to keep a relationship alive, but why is that nobody is trying to teach men how to keep a relationship alive too? Why is that we have to make all the effort??? Why is that we're the only ones who should spice up the relationship?

 

There are more articles these days telling men how to keep relationships alive because women are becoming more and more "why do I have to make the effortish" .Of course women in relationships and men know that the original "it's only women impressing men" rule is false, but it's a big enough falsity for it to be mentioned here often enough.

GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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Uhmm, not true at all.

 

I could flood the page with links to articles telling men all of the things that they have to do to make women happy.

 

I think it comes down to what we want to see.

 

Really? So please share.

 

Because honestly that is not what I see in popular men's magazines... Or perhaps I am not really paying attention to the headlines??

 

Anyway... You gotta agree with me that the topic "HOW TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER HAPPY" is much more popular in women's magazines than in men's magazines. And I am not talking about "How to make a woman happy in bed".

AspenBaldwin Established Member

AspenBaldwin

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Get a pair of roller blades and circle around him, nothing sexier than figure skating.

  • Like 1
GingerVixen Established Member

GingerVixen

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There are more articles these days telling men how to keep relationships alive because women are becoming more and more "why do I have to make the effortish" .Of course women in relationships and men know that the original "it's only women impressing men" rule is false, but it's a big enough falsity for it to be mentioned here often enough.

 

Good to know that the mindset is changing.

 

But you gotta agree with me that historically speaking the role of the seductress and nurturer has been given to the woman, not the man. The woman must make the husband happy. The woman must learn 348934893 sexual tricks to make the husband happy. The woman must give him a shoulder massage after a very long day because she must make him happy.

 

You know that. The mindset may be changing but there is still the idea that it's up to the woman to save the marriage. There are even some people who believe in the absurd idea that "If he cheated on her, it is because she wasn't a good wife for him".

loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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OP has a valid point.

 

She's talking about improving herself to be the best girlfriend/wife she can be.

 

There is nothing wrong with that. If more people put in an effort, thinking about the other person, rather than "me, me, me" there would be a lot more successful marriages and relationships.

 

I know I do exactly what the OP is talking about. I've improved myself as a guy greatly over the years.

 

If both sexes do this in a relationship, it works so effortlessly....

  • Like 1
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Be yourself.

 

That's the best aphrodisiac. There are no magic tricks to keep a guy interested.

 

If a guy doesn't love you for who you really are, he's not the one.

 

So so true!

 

For me.... I never found it necessary to employ any of those tricks or tactics.... I always got the guy by (1) having strong chemistry with him to begin with and (2) simply being genuine, real, true to myself.

 

Once chemistry has been established....being genuine gets 'em every time.

 

By being genuine and comfortable in your own skin.... in turn it results in the man feeling comfortable with you...and when a man feels comfortable with you.... feels like HE can be HIMSELF with you and not be judged negatively (before even knowing him)....you've got him. My experience.

 

Having hot sex helps too!! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

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